


Another Side of the Story - Part 2

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2019-01-19 20:37:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: This is the sequence to the first Part pf "Another Side of the Story", which starts eleven months after Billie graduated from Hogwarts





	1. Part II Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

<b>Part two</b>

<b></b>

<b>Eleven months later</b>

<b></b>

<b></b>

<i>    </i>

<i>We now find ourselves at the end of May 1996, eleven months after Billie’s graduation, which is the end of Harry Potter’s Sixth Year. Harry and Dumbledore are trying to unravel the mystery of the horcruxes, while the curse of Marvolo’s ring is slowly, but steadily taking control over the Headmaster’s whole body, and Professor Snape sees the moment of the horrible task he is expected to perform come closer every day. </i>

<i></i>

<i>While Harry is gaining himself quite a reputation as a miraculous, if somewhat unexpected, potion master, to the intense delight of Professor Slughorn, and under the suspicious eyes of the Half Blood Prince himself, Billie is employed as an administrative assistant at the Ministry of Magic. </i>

<i>However, none of her colleagues know that, in secret, she has also been employed by Kingsley Shacklebolt, who has asked her to brew a potion that, when sprayed upon a person who had been using the Polyjuice Potion, would instantly make them lose their cover and reveal their true self. </i>

<i></i>

 

1

 

The distinguished tea house in the centre of Oxford was pleasantly buzzing with the noise of soft voices, tingling china and rattling cuttlery. 

When Billie made her entry, it took her a couple of seconds to locate her father. Having all four high-ceilinged walls covered with enormous mirrors wasn’t really helpful in such cases. She took her shoulder bag in her arms, for fear she would knock over an expensive piece of china or wine glass as she manoeuvered herself towards the corner where he was sitting. 

“Hello, Dad” she smiled. 

The blue eyes were immediately lifted from the paper he had been reading and a warm smile spread over his face. 

He rose to greet her, which wasn’t an easy thing to do if you were six-foot-three and squeezed between a palm tree, a mirror, a tiny table laden with high-tea trays, a large tea pot and two cups. 

“You look good, girl, “ he said approvingly as they sat down, “Your career doesn’t seem to affect your looks, I see”. 

“I dunno, “she laughed, “Well, first of all, c<i>areer</i> is a big word for what I’m doing at the moment, and if you expect me to eat all this stuff you seem to have ordered here, my looks may rapidly change too”. 

“Nonsense” From under the bushy eyebrows he briefly let his eyes run over the slim appearance in front of him, “You’ve visibly lost weight. Maybe I should invite you more often. Are you sure you eat enough?”

“Yes, but not the helpings I used to have at Hogwarts. We were quite spoiled there”. 

“Of course. You must miss being served from breakfast till dinner”. 

“Yes, I miss it. The cooking, the school… everything”, she smiled, “Can I take one of those?” She pointed at the muffins that were neatly piled on a silver plate next to her cup. 

“It’s funny,” she continued as she was chewing the excellent cake, “In the beginning of my seventh yearr, I was so eager to graduate it couldn’t happen quickly enough; I couldn’t wait to step outside into the real world, away from the Umbridge woman, and to finally get rid of the uninteresting subjects we learnt and concentrate on the nice ones only”. 

“Potions, in your case”

“Yes, potions. And herbology”. 

“And now, after only a handful of months, you’re missing it already”. 

“Yes, … well I’m still happy to be in London of course. But up till now, my work has been rather dull… and rather lonely if you compare it to the way I used to live at Hogwarts, when I was always surrounded by friends and teachers. Nowadays, I hardly meet any colleagues after work or anything”. 

“You should go out more often then. And how come you don’t meet any colleagues after work? You do have them I hope”. 

“Yes, of course” she nodded, “But the real thing I’m working on is not a subject to discuss in public. And I suppose that’s why I keep some distance with my colleagues, who are working at the Ministry with a completely different purpose than I do”. 

“Hm… I see. Yes, and given the circumstances I think you’d better keep the nature of your work a secret. In both worlds”. 

Billie met his eyes over the rim of the teacup she had been sipping from. His face had turned rather serious.

“Are you referring to the things that have been reported in the papers?” she asked as she carefully cast a glance around to check if they weren’t being overheard. “I think those incidents have to do with our world, dad”. 

“I know. Your mum and I have been thinking the same” he said. “But I don’t think we should be discussing this in public”. 

“Wait, “she said and grabbed for her wand in her pocket. She made sure only its  tip was revealed as she quickly flicked it around. Then she pocketed again. 

“The muffliato spell”, she explained, “Professor Snape taught me once. Very handy against eavesdropping”

“What’s going on in the wizarding world, Billie?”. 

“All sorts of things,” Billie sighed, “First of all, the Daily Prophet is reporting killings and missings practically on a daily basis. Some of them, or even most of them, are related to muggles, either because the victims were muggle-born, or because they were squibs living amongst muggles. There’s no doubt anymore that the evil wizard our world is terrified of has returned and is gaining power”. 

“This… what’s-his-name… Vol…?”

“Voldemort, yes”

“But then you are in danger too,” said her father, “You’re muggle-born yourself”. 

Billie shook her head, “According to Fred’s dad, who’s working in another Ministry department, there’s no real danger for me yet. Not as long as the Ministry is not overtaken, and with Dumbledore at Hogwarts and the new Minister of Magic Scrimgeour installed, I think we’re still quite safe”.  

“But you’re far away from Hogwarts”. 

“Yes, but the mere existence of a wizard like Dumbledore should be enough to stop Voldemort from rising to power”. 

“It didn’t stop him last time”. 

“I know” A deep frown appeared between her eyes as she sat thinking for a while. “Well, anyway, I’m a nobody. I don’t have an important position anyone would want to take from me. I’m keeping a low profile; to the outside world I’m doing nothing more than inventorising potions ingredients, and I’m not entering in any discussions with anyone, so if I can keep myself quiet and work in solitude, I should be all right for the time being”.

“And what about your Hogwarts friends?”

“The Weasleys are in danger. They are constantly being spied on, which is why I have to be very careful when I want to get in touch with Fred. A couple of graduated muggle-born friends are talking about leaving the country. Oliver, for example, has grabbed the occasion to study in Galicia. Emily’s all right. She’s pure-blood and her dad owns the most important Apothecary in Diagon Alley: noone can afford to lose him in the present situation”. 

“So that’s why you have been rather lonely. Your best friends are leaving”. 

“Yes, and the ones who aren’t have to be careful not to get in touch with me. I shouldn’t draw too much attention to myself. I live in a house I share with four more people, mind, and apart from the hours I spend alone in my secret lab at Emily’s place, I’m always surrounded by muggles after hours”. 

“Let’s hope they will quickly catch that dark wizard”, said her father, “I don’t like this at all. Reminds me of very unpleasant times in our world not too long ago”. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t count on a quick solution, you know”, said Billie, and she felt sorry when she saw the shadow pass in the eyes opposite her, “Voldemort is not the kind of wizard you can grab in the neck and lock away in a prison. Rumour has it that only Harry should be the one to destroy him. But Harry Potter is very young still; definitely no match for a wizard like the Dark Lord, and by the time he will be able to stand up against him, it may be far too late”. 

They fell silent at this gloomy prospect, both sipping their tea with their minds far away from the average topic discussed at a muggle tea house in Oxford. Finally, her father was the one who broke the silence.

“And what about Professor Snape?” he asked, “Are you still in touch with him?”

The corners of her mouth moved slightly upwards as she realised their thoughts had wandered off towards the same person. 

“No,” she said, “But that’s normal isn’t it? He’s not my teacher anymore and he knows nothing about the task I’ve been given by Kingsley. And I don’t think he cares about potions inventories or anything else I’m officially said to be dealing with”. 

“You used to be one of his favourite students. And his best one too”. 

“Yes, but that’s easily forgotten in Snape’s case”. 

“Isn’t his reputation rather dubious?”. 

“Hm… I don’t know” She thought for a while, “Rumours have circulated about Snape as soon as he entered the school I think. And I don’t believe any of them”. 

“Yes, you’ve told me that often before. But why?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a feeling. And the result of the way I got to know him last year”. 

“A feeling is not good enough, Billie”. 

“I know. That’s why I haven’t told him about my task…” she hesitated a little and then took a deep breath. “But I have written him, actually. Only recently. I’m struggling with a potion and since my former Professor of Herbology can’t help with those ingredients, I was forced to turn to Professor Snape. But he hasn’t replied yet”. 

“My dear girl, that’s an enormously dangerous thing to do! You should be careful with letters in the first place. I suppose they’re easily traceable”. 

“I know. There wasn’t anything compromising in my letter, but the mere fact that I should get in touch with him may be bad enough if it fell into the wrong hands”. 

“Exactly”. 

For the second time, Billie sighed deeply. “I hate this, dad”. Her sad eyes met his and he put a comforting hand on hers, “I really hate this. There’s noone you can trust anymore. There’s noone to have a laugh with, or to get drunk with, or to make fun of. Fred and his brother are the perfect remedy against all this misery we’re confronted with every day, but I can’t get hold of them without risking both their necks and mine. It’s all right when we’re together, but I can’t even send them any letters or floo powder messages anymore, and they’re quite busy in their new shop. The only hidden messages I can send is when I place an order with them, but even that has become too dangerous now”. 

She put her other hand on top of his, “Perhaps I should leave the Ministry altogether”, and before he could interrupt her she added: “I’d like to be more involved underground. I know that Fred and George are up to things and I think it’s unfair that I should be sitting here when I might as well make myself useful against Voldemort”. 

“That is a stupid idea, Billie” said her father, “Think for a moment: what could you possibly do in an underground organisation? You’ve only just graduated. You’re brilliant at Potions, which is why Mr Shacklebolt has given you that task and that’s more than enough to handle I should think. You don’t have the power, nor the knowledge to influence things, and even less so a network”. 

“That’s not true”, she said as she withdrew her hands from his, “Fred and George are running a shop in which they sell things that can make a dark wizard’s life quite difficult. I could help them with their potions. We could brew things that make an average wizard’s life a bit easier to cope with”. 

“You can do that in the margin of this work as well, and far better than over there. Besides, if you manage to get that anti-polyjuice potion in place, you’ll do the wizarding world a great favour”. 

She shook her head. “There’s still a long way to go, dad. I’ve only just started working on it”. 

“There’s no time pressure, Mr Shacklebolt said. And as you are working on it, you have the perfect excuse to concentrate on different things as well. Noone is looking over your shoulder to check what it is you’re brewing. You only have to make sure that your daily job is properly done, so that noone has an excuse to blame you, or worse, dismiss you”.

She thoughtfully sat biting her lip. There was something in that, of course. 

“But how do I know what the anti-Voldemort movement needs when I’m not in touch with them?”

“Believe me, Billie, resigning won’t solve that problem”, came his wise reply, “You just have to wait until an occasion, or some brilliant idea presents itself. And meanwhile, try to get as far with your work as you can get. Remember that the very reason why it was suggested to you by Mr Schacklebolt in the first place is because the wizarding world is in need of a better protection against intruders, if ever war breaks out – <i>don’t give me that look!</i> You’ve told me yourself that sooner or later people will stand up and fight – well in case war breaks out, they will constantly need your potion”.  

War… the delicious scones and muffins that were left on the silver trays had suddenly lost all their attraction. As her stomach tightened into a painful knot, Billie had a feeling she would never enjoy any food anymore. 

“I think we should leave,” she said, “I’d like to show you where I stand and I need your advice on a couple of things”.

“Very well,” said her father. They rose together. “Pity there’s so much left, though. Are you sure you don’t want to take any of it with you?”

Billie shook her head. So they walked to the counter where her father paid for the food and left the waitress a nice tip to compensate for the little they had eaten, and together they stepped into the grey and chilly February evening. 

 

Billie’s father was a Professor Emeritus of Chemistry, who had graduated from Oxford University over thirty years before. He was still well respected in those circles, even if he had retired a while ago. The fact that Billie had been fascinated by his work from an early age already, was probably the reason why she had excelled at Potions from the moment she set foot in Snape’s dungeon. Both areas were completely different from each other of course, but the basic idea of mixing and chopping and experimenting was what made Billie feel comfortable in Snape’s potions lessons, and the more she learnt, the more similarities she discovered between the mixtures her dad had spent his whole life brewing, and her own potions. 

So after she had ended her Potions NEWTS with excellent results, her dad -and before him, Dumbledore and Snape - had suggested she should spend some time at Oxford to study muggle chemistry and see if there was anything she could use to improve the potions wizards used for healing purposes. That is how, after six months of studying muggle chemistry, she had managed to improve a couple of potions which had attracted the attention of her ex boyfriend’s father Arthur Weasley and his friend Kingsley Schacklebolt. The latter had proposed to employ her as an administrative support at the Ministry, but at the same time had asked her if, after hours, she could find something against the most powerful and dangerous potions like the Polyjuice Potion and Veritaserum. An antidote against the Polyjuice Potion seemed the most logical thing to work on, since she had spent weeks on improving the potion. She only regretted not having Snape’s support this time. Kingsley had greatly stressed that she was not to discuss this secret task with anyone, not even Snape, unless she was completely blocked and had no other choice than to seek his advice.

 

So here she was, hidden far away from her friends, sitting at her desk at the Ministry amongst gossiping ladies who were little concerned about the ominous reports in the papers and whose main interest was restricted to their families, their houses and their colleagues’ deficiencies. 

Billie wasn’t one of them. She kept a constant eye on the Prophet and the muggle papers, and she took no part in the gossiping. She limited herself to a friendly chat, and an occasional drink in a bar with a couple of colleagues during lunch, but she never let anyone come closer than that. Besides, she wasn’t in the mood for many new friendships. She missed her old friends and contacts too much. 

 

Kingsley was quite happy with the progress she had made so far. From the long list of polyjuice potion- ingredients, she had listed all the possible characteristics she could find about them. Not one of them caused the drinker to change into the person whose DNA was mixed in the brew, so, again,it had to be in the combination of the different ingredients that the effect was generated. What she had found out already, was that dried devil’s snare leaves seemed to stop the transformation, or at least neutralise the combined effect of the ingredients. So <i>there </i>could lie the key to an antidote. 

The trouble was that she had run out of her stock, and devil’s snare was not the kind of thing you came across in muggle chemist shops. Not even the average Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade apothecary or florist sold the stuff. The only way for her to get it was in Knockturn Alley, which wasn’t the most exciting street to walk these days, especially as a muggle-born girl. And so she had turned to Kingsley first, but he had been unable to help her, especially because devil’s snare immediately raised suspicion if anyone asked for it. Professor Sprout had informed her that the latest seeds she had sown at Hogwarts hadn’t sprouted, and that the little she had left from last year was rapidly being used, so she couldn’t possibly spare Billie any. She had therefore advised the girl to get in touch with Professor Snape. 

 

Billie had long hesitated at that. Since the subject of her work was a secret only Arthur Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt and she knew about, getting in touch with Snape would immediately raise questions. He was clever enough to know that devil’s snare was not an ingredient one could find in harmless potions. He would want to know what she was up to. 

So she had consulted Kingsley on the subject, who told her to send the letter anyway, and if Snape came back to her with awkward questions, she could simply refer to the secrecy she had sworn to the Ministry. Of course, it was unlikely for a Ministry employee to not know where to find devil’s snare, but Snape would understand that these days, a lot of things had to be done by the Ministry in secret. 

But now the letter had left three days ago, and no reply had come. So she would have to think of a safe way to get to the Knockturn Alley shop anyway.


	2. Part II Chapter 2

2

 

In the DADA-office he had only recently acquired, Severus Snape sat fumbling a small piece of parchment an unknown owl had delivered that morning.  

Devil’s snare… indeed!

She was either going to strangle someone… or brew a veritaserum. 

The latter made more sense, since she was only asking for the leaves. And of course, he was not going to provide her with such a valuable ingredient to brew such a dangerous potion. What on earth was she up to anyway? Was she serving as a spy and did she need it for that purpose? 

He thought about the girl he had had in his classes for eight years and who he had taught the art of potion making with more pleasure than the average Hogwarts student.

He couldn’t possibly picture her as a spy. She was far too open for that. She had never resisted his mind-reading stare, and she had never shown any interest in mastering the art of Occlumency. So she had to be the least probable spy this school had ever produced. 

Then what else could it be? Why would the Ministry order her to make Veritaserum  when they had their own sources to acquire it in the first place? The answer was simple: they wouldn’t. She was doing this on her own initiative. So the reason for her brewing the potion had to be a secret one, and most probably a dangerous one at that. 

It left him with no other option than to personally look into the matter. 

He slowly rose from his chair and walked to the window where he let his eyes run over the dark shadows on the grounds in deep thought. 

So much was going on… the world was on the verge of a complete collapse. This school would rapidly fall into the wrong hands, and he was helping the Dark Lord putting it into practice. Innocent muggles would become captured, questioned, harressed, ruined. Opponents would be killed. Ministry officials would be forced to resign or worse, and one of their employees was Billie. She stood no chance against the evil forces that had already infiltrated the Ministry. 

He wondered how much she was aware of what was really going on. There was probably not a lot she knew. She was not involved with anyone related to the Order… except…  

He took a deep breath. 

She was seeing one of the Weasley twins. Or she used to go out with him. He couldn’t tell if she still had done so when she graduated because by that time, the Weasleys had left the school in a most spectacular way. A smile played on his thin lips as he recalled the panic their departure had caused with Umbridge. 

And then, all of a sudden, all pleasant thoughts dissolved as if they weren’t meant to exist. The cause of it was the sudden prickling he felt in his left arm. 

He took another deep breath; took a couple of seconds to push all thoughts about Billie and her letter to the back of his mind and to adopt to his usual pose again, and opened the window. 

The Dark Lord hated it when he was late.

 

Many hours later, when dawn was not too far away anymore, he came back into his private room, threw his cloak over the back of his coach and flung himself in the seat next to the fire. The hands that hid his face were shaking. It took him several minutes to get control over his irregular breathing and painfully pounding heart. 

As he was trying to regain his composure, his fingers slowly started to rub his painful temples. 

How much more could a human being cope with? And yet, he had no choice. He let a deep sigh, rested his head against the back of his seat and closed his eyes. 

How he hated that lot. How he wished he could make them suffer like they made their victims suffer. The cruelty of the past hours passed before his eyes as clearly as if he was still witnessing it. And this time, he hadn’t been able to rescue the victims; not even to ease their pain. Poor people… Their daughter would probably be informed about her parents’ death first thing in the morning. She didn’t belong to his house, fortunately. He couldn’t possibly face her now. 

After a while, his thoughts went to Draco Malfoy and the task he was set. He was wondering what the boy was doing in the Room of Requirements all the time. Snape had searched the room several times, but it was so packed with all sorts of rubbish that it was impossible to find out what Malfoy was up to. In any case, the boy didn’t seem to make much progress. Not that that would change a lot to the course of events, but still… 

He looked at his watch. There wasn’t much time left for sleep until the first lesson started, so he decided not to bother about it anymore. Instead, he walked to his desk, when suddenly he remembered the letter Billie had written. He took it out of the textbook in which he had hidden it and let his eyes run over it once more. 

He had to warn her. If she found herself in the likely situation of not knowing what was going on, she would never be prepared for the things at hand and be captured before she had the chance to flee. 

But how could he do that? Apparating was the quickest option, of course, but not the most discrete one. Flying would do the trick, but tonight, he was far too tired to transform and besides, he would never be back in time for class. Furthermore, he had to carefully plan what he was going to say to her. She wasn’t to know too much, because then she would be a threat to the whole wizarding community. She shouldn’t even suspect he was on her side.

He decided to wait until the next morning, which was a Saturday. London would be crowded with shoppers then who would give him the cover he needed so that he could pass through the streets unnoticed. Furthermore, a good night’s rest would help him handle the case as effectively as possible. 

He sat down behind his desk and hid his face in his hands again, but this time, it was to think.


	3. Part II Chapter 3

3

 

Billie was looking at the old woman who met her eyes in the mirror. She had to admit her disguise looked good. She was wearing the old witch’s clothes she had found in a charity shop off Diagon Alley. Her hair was grey and tied together in a bun. The ageing potion had carved deep lines in her face and turned the otherwise smooth skin of her hands into leathery parchment. The eyes, however, still looked young, but Billie decided to solve that problem with a tiny drop of onion essence as soon as she entered Knockturn Alley. 

She cast a last look into the mirror; checked the name of the shop she had written on a piece of parchment and tried to memorise the house number. The house she was sharing with four other people seemed deserted, but she thought it safer to leave by the backdoor anyway. 

The street at the back of the house could very well compete with Knockturn Alley. It was narrow and dark; smelled of waste bins and all sorts of human excrements. Billie hid her nose in the scarf she was wearing and tried to walk as quickly as she could without lookingsuspicious. She let a sigh of relief when the street opened up to a small square from which she could take the bus to the Leaky Cauldron. 

Fortunately, noone paid much attention to her during the ride. She was the only one who got out at the bus stop and a careful glance around told her that the street was deserted and that she could walk to the Leaky Cauldron without being followed. 

 

It was quiet at the wizard’s inn. Billie headed straight for the courtyard where she quickly tapped the stones and jumped through the hole even before the wall had completely disappeared. 

Although she had intended not to linger and to head straight for Knockturn Alley before she could change her mind, she froze as soon as she witnessed the sad scene in front of her. 

Diagon Alley looked nothing like it had done before. Where Saturdays used to be a popular shopping day for wizards, just like they were with muggles, nothing suggested today that this was the case. Even at this lunch hour, hardly a handful of people were passing by and when Billie started to walk, she noticed that one shop out of two was boarded up. 

One colourful exception was the Weasley Wizard Wheezes-joke shop. The cheerfully painted building and enchanted objects in and around the shop made it stand out against the sad greyness of the rest of the street, as if the Weasleys wanted to make a clear statement in their own funny way. 

Billie smiled. She could only just resist the temptation to walk in and be cheered up by her friends, but duty called and before she could abandon the whole plan of buying devil’s snare, she lowered her eyes to the ground, and with her head carefully hidden in the shadows of her cloak, swiftly hurried to where she was supposed to go. 

 

When she had reached Eeylops Owl Emporium she stopped. As she pretended to be watching the screeching birds in the window, her eyes wandered to where the first shops of Knockturn Alley were visible. 

The street looked very threatening indeed. She couldn’t see any people from where she was standing, but the mere sadness and decay of the place was far more repulsive even than the deteriorated Diagon Alley. 

She took a deep breath and decided that she’d better had it over and done with as soon as possible. The essence of onion itched in her eyes like mad, but she tried to ignore that. 

With what she hoped was a confident step, she entered the street, where a foul smell immediately caught her nostrils. An eye on one of the shops told her that she still had a long way to go. Her shop was at number forty-six and this one was number two. 

As she moved deeper into the alley and daylight faded away, dark shadows came into view. Left of her was a tiny little street that looked as dark as if it were the middle of the night. On her right side stood, casually leaning against the wall of a delapidated house, a dodgy man who was leering at her from under his dirty wizard’s hat. Billie quickly passed him by and not ten paces further down the road found her way blocked by someone else. 

“Let me pass, will you” she demanded, her eyes coldly fixed on the dirty appearance in front of her. 

“Oh… there there…haven’t we learnt to be polite, granny?”. 

It was difficult not to show any fear. The man looked absolutely scary. He was at least seven feet tall and immensely heavily built. His dirty hair half covered his sweaty face and his breath, which smelled of alcohol, came with a rattling noise, as if he had trouble getting oxygene. 

“Let me pass," she repeated. 

“Not so quickly, gran” the grin made the face even more horrible than before, “What’s that you’ve got in your purse there?”

“Not much. I’m poor and I want you to leave me alone. Find yourself a richer victim!”. 

She got ready to sneak past him but that was not her cleverest idea. With one swift movement he had blocked her way with one arm, grabbed her throat with the hand of the other and brought his face close to hers. But panick gave Billie extra power. Without thinking, she gave him an enormous kick in the crotch with her left knee and as he was bending double with pain, she took out her wand and was just about to hex him when, from the corner of her eye, she saw  a shadow speeding towards her. Before she knew it, two hands had grabbed her by the waist and started to drag her away. But Billie still held her wand and without properly aiming, she aimed a petrifying hex backwards, which hit her assaulter straight into the face. He immediately released his grip on her and she was free. 

Meanwhile, the giant who had stopped her first had somewhat recovered from her kick and was just about to jump up and grab her again, when she sent a curse at him. He dropped down instantly, and without further hesitation, Billie sped further down the street towards the shop where she hoped to find the Devil’s Snare. 

 

She toppled rather than entered the house at number forty-six and stood heavily panting for a while before she was able to address the man behind the counter.

As soon as she had caught her breath somewhat and taken in his appearances, she wondered if she hadn’t gone from bad to worse, especially when she realised she had seen his face before. 

He was Bruce Bickering, a Ravenclaw who had studied and graduated together with her. And she didn’t have the best of memories of him. 

Fortunately, she was in disguise. She tried not to think too much about what she was doing, and with as much dignity as she could fake approached herself to the counter. 

“Goodafternoon,” she said with what she hoped was a steady voice, and as no reply came she quickly continued: “I’d like to buy devil’s snare leaves”. 

It took a while before the man took the trouble to reply. 

“Devil’s snare…” he growled, “… now why would an old hag like yourself need that?”

She lifted her chin and fixed him with an ice-cold stare. “That’s none of your business”

“Really… “he whispered dangerously, “… is it really…” 

To her discomfort he put his arms on the counter and lifted himself up until he came face to face with her. 

“… Well let me tell you something, woman… I’m afraid it <i>is</i> my business… and do you know why?”

She preferred not to answer that. 

“Because a person in need of devil’s snare is up to no good… and we don’t want any illegal practice over here, do we now…”

“Who says it’s illegal?” she snorted.

But before he could reply, the shop door had opened again to let another man in. 

The shopkeeper sent the newcomer a welcoming grin, and then focused back on the woman in front of him.

“I know it’s illegal…” he whispered, “… and I know something else. I know that you’re a filthy mudblood who’s stupid enough to think that I, Bruce Bickering, would not see through the cover of a simple ageing potion, … <i>Matthews</i>…!”

Billie heavily started, but before she could think of a suitable reply, Bruce had turned to the other man in the shop. 

“Do we like mudbloods here, Grimsel? I don’t think we do, do we?”

Billie cast a nervous glance at the man behind her. His looks were very little promising. Just like Bruce Bickering, he was tall and bulky and hard faced. A big scar ran on the side of his neck and he was giving her the up and down with tiny little eyes from under greying bushy eyebrows. 

Just as she was thinking she had better leave the devil’s snare for what it was and run, the doorbell rang again and to her horror none other than her giant assaulter came in.

For a couple of seconds noone spoke. Billie was racking her brain for a decent excuse to get away, or even better so a charm that could save her, but when she tried to slowly move her fingers towards her wand, she realised to her despair that she couldn’t move her arm at all. She was paralysed. 

“Close the shutter, Fatty,“ the shopkeeper softly ordered the giant. 

The second man grinned in a highly unpleasant way as his companion hid the scene inside from passers-by. 

“Hexing an innocent window shopper, eh…” he whispered as he turned towards her and slowly moved in her direction, “and kicking his private parts …”

The closer he came, the more Billie moved backwards until she was forcefully stopped by the chest behind her.

“If you hadn’t been an old tart, we could have had a look if you hadn’t caused any serious damage”. He was now at only a couple of inches from her “… but now I’m not so sure I want to try…”

“You’re wrong there, Fatty”, came the triumphant voice of Bickering, “She’s not old at all… an ageing potion, see?”

“Ageing potion, eh?” came the croaky voice of the second man Grimsel “and is she any good looking at?”

“As good looking as you can expect a mudblood to be” sneered Bruce.

“Well then…” whispered the giant menacingly, “… In that case, ... Trouble is, they're still hurting, the crown jewels. I'm not sure I want to waste them on a moodblood".

“Mine are in excellent state!” laughed Grimsel who was now detaching himself from the doorpost and moving towards Billie too. 

Billie was trying all the curses she could think of in an effort to attack without a wand, or at least break the paralysing spell, but nothing came. Where was the natural magic every wizard was born with when you needed it! She swallowed hard when she felt her throat tighten in panic, but there was absolutely nothing she could do. 

Meanwhile her nostrils caught the foul smell of Grimsel’s unpleasant breath. He had pushed Fatty asideand was standing so close that she could feel his fat belly rubbing against hers. She tried to avert her face but even that was impossible. 

“I’m perfectly capable of taking her, Fatty…” he whispered as his piggy eyes took in every detail of her artificially aged face, “In fact… I don’t think I’ll be needing you both to revenge Fatty… I'll take her with me". 

“Hang on, Grimsel… This is all happening in <i>my</i> shop isn’t it… “ came Bruce’s reply, “I’m the boss here, you know”. 

“Shut up, Bickering”. Grimsel turned to the shopkeeper with his wand he had suddenly taken out from somewere underneath his cloak. “You wouldn’t want to be cursed now, would you”. 

Bruce cast an alarming look at the wand at less than an inch of his nose and stepped back. 

“All right, then,” he whispered, ‘take her with you. But I wouldn’t spare her pretty face too much if I were you. We don’t want her to breed do we?”

Fatty laughed together with him. He still had a hungry look in his eyes too, but what with his painful groin, he didn't feel any need of witnessing whatever it was that Grimsel had in mind with her. 

“Leave her to me…” grinned the latter, “She’s in safe hands”. 

All three men let out a highly unpleasant laugh. Then Grimsel grabbed Billie by the waist and steered her towards the door. 

“I’ll let you know when I’m finished with her” he promised the other men. And then he opened the door and roughly pushed her out in front of him, straight into the tiny street opposite the shop.


	4. Part II Chapter 4

4

 

Billie, however, could hardly move her feet due to the paralysing spell she was still under, so Bruce lost his temper with her and half carried-half dragged her through the narrow, cobblestoned street. 

When they arrived at a tiny, filthy-looking house  he stopped, took a key out of his pocket and threw the door open. Billie was pushed inside so suddenly that she fell over and landed with her face on what felt like a wet, ice-cold floor. 

 

She took a while to adjust her eyes to the darkness but before she could distinguish anything, the man had lit his wand and she was blinded again.For a second, there was complete silence during which she wasn’t quite sure what was happening. He was probably staring at her. Then she was lifted up again and pushed into what looked like a deserted living room where, apart from a broken chair and a couple of old advertisment papers, nothing was left. 

As she stood there, paralysed with fear and shaking like a leaf, Grimsel moved closer to her, crossed his arms and brought his face, that was suddenly twisted with rage, very close to hers. 

“How dare you…! How could you possibly be so utterly and completely stupid…  so irresponsible! What were you thinking of, for Merlin’s sake!”

It took a long while before she realised something was out of the ordinary there… Trembling with fear and not having a clue what was happening, she stood gazing into the ugly, bloodshot eyes of the man who had dragged her here to attack her, which didn’t quite fit with what he was saying.  

Before she was able to regain a little of her composure and give the matter some more thought, however, he had grabbed her by the shoulders again and brought his face so close to her that his foul smell couldn’t even be stopped by breathing through her mouth instead of her nose. 

“Get out of here. Disapparate from this place <i>now</i>. And make sure you choose a target where the crack will not be heard. You have drawn enough attention to yourself to cause trouble”. 

“Who are you?” she whispered.

He pretended not to have heard her question and continued his furious ranting from between clenched teeth. 

“Get away. Quick! I am going to sort out the memories of the other two but not until I have seen that you are safely gone. I will not run the risk of you awakening the real Grimsel in the room next door. Go on… disapparate!”

And with that, he took his hands off her shoulders and furiously indicated she should spring into action. 

Billie took a second to think where she’d best land and with one last questioning look at what now appeared to be her rescuer turned away from him and was gone. 

 

 

Severus stood shaking his head in disbelief after she had left and then shot a glance at his watch. There was plenty of time left to wipe the most recent events from Billie’s attackers’ minds before the Polyjuice Potion had lost its effect, but he might have to search a little to find the three men back. 

Bickering would probably still be lingering in his shop somewhere, so he decided to start with that one. 

Without being able to put the finger on the reason why he should do so, he had always disliked Bruce Bickering and his intuition had not let him down, apparently. A mediocre student, despite his sorting into Ravenclaw; probably a bully; and now a shopkeeper in Knockturn Alley, selling half-illegal stuff like Devil’s Snare. It wasn’t the nicest curriculum Hogwarts had ever produced, to say the least.   

 

Through the dirty window, Snape noticed that the shop was empty. 

As soon as the doorbell had rung, he heard approaching footsteps and the next moment Bruce appeared in the shop, a wicked grin on his face when he spotted the disguised Snape. 

“Well hello again, Grimsel. Where’s our little girl? Have you finished with her?”

“Where’s Fatty?” Severus replied, “I thought he was going to wait here too?”

“We surely don’t need Fatty to have a good time eh?” Bickering sneered.

“Where is he?”

Bickering gave a shrug. “How should I know? The Inn I suppose”.

Severus didn’t like the sound of this at all, but he had no time to lose. Before Bruce realised what was happening, Snape had pointed his wand at his forehead and whispered the incantation that would erase all memories of that same day. Then he muttered some sort of farewell and in an instant, had disappeared through the door. 

 

Knockturn Alley counted three inns. The first one looked empty, so he decided to skip that one. In the second one he was more successful: from where he was standing at the door he recognised the broad back and curly greasy hair that belonged to Fatty. 

The trouble was that the pub was full, making it impossible for Snape to hex Billie’s assaulter unnoticed. 

He thought for a moment. There had to be a way to trick him out of the inn and straight into the dark alcove next to the pub. And then he remembered the promise he had made to the man, straightened his shoulders and pushed the door open. 

He didn’t have to explain a lot. As soon as they heard the door open, all three men at the bar turned to look at the newcomer, after which Fatty immediately got to his feet and walked up to Severus.

“Finished” said Severus trying hard to keep his voice as low as possible, so as not to attract the other men’s attention.

The hungry look returned into the other man’s eyes, giving Snape a disagreeable feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

“On second thoughts, I think I should make her pay for her attack as well. Where is she?”

Severus vaguely gestured in the direction he came from. “A shack further down the road. Wasn’t really fit for walking anymore” His insides turned as he pictured himself in Grimsel's body, uttering these disgusting words.

The nearly toothless smile he got in return hardly did anything to improve that feeling. He quickly lay a hand on Fatty's shoulder, and steered him towards the door. “Hurry up, “he said, “Before she awakes and sneaks away”.

“Where’r you going, Grimm?” shouted one of the other men at the bar, “Am I righ’ in assumin’ you’re talkin’ abou’ a lady?”

“A lady’s not the right word,“ came Snape’s sneering reply, “Isn’t it, Fatty?”

The other man openly laughed. “Wanna join us, Slim?” he shouted, “We could all have a go at her!”.

“No, no… that’s not part of our little agreement,” said Snape, “You stay where you are, Slim. This is between the two of us”. 

But Slim did not like that tone at all. He wasn’t a great fan of Grimsel's anyway. Both men had a history of blows and black eyes between them. On top of that, the other attendants’ attention was awakened too and all visitors were now staring at the three men in amusement. 

Severus immediately realised that this was going to be a little more difficult than he had hoped it would be. Also, a glance at his watch showed him that he barely had ten minutes left before the Potion’s effect would start to fade away. He had to be quick. But just as he was going to address Fatty again, in an effort to get him out of the pub, the door opened to let Bruce Bickering in, who as soon as he spotted Snape opened his mouth to ask him what he was up to.

That’s when Severus decided that this called for a more vigorous approach. He took his wand; sealed all windows and doors with one flick and shouted “Immobile” at all men that were present in the pub. Then he quickly pointed at each man’s forehead and obliviated their memories. In the confusion that followed, he rushed to the door, unsealed it and had disappeared in another narrow and dark street off Knockturn Alley before anyone had had the chance to recover. 

 

He ran at great speed over the uneven cobblestones, turned a corner and before the men in the pub fully realised that something strange had been done to them and started their pursuit, he had pointed his wand at himself and transformed. Then he flew back to the house where the real Fatty was still captured; transformed again; kicked out the shoes, trousers and dirty sweater that were rapidly becoming too large for his restoring smaller and slimmer built and jumped into his own clothes. Then he opened the door to the room where Fatty was lying; untied the man’s robes and before the latter had the chance to jump up and attack him, had pointed his wand at him, modified his memory and shot a confusing spell. 

Then he transformed again, hopped through the broken window through which he had entered, and flew up to the chimney where he was going to wait till nightfall.


	5. Part II Chapter 5

5

 

Billie had just lit a couple of candles and was about to close the curtains, when her attention was drawn to something that was moving outside, just at her window sill. 

She frowned when she didn’t immediately recognise the animal that was sitting there. When she moved a little closer and the light of one of the candles fell on it, she recognised to her surprise a bat that sat staring back at her. 

How funny. She couldn’t recall ever having seen a bat since her schooldays at Hogwarts and she wondered why the animal was seeking refuge on her window sill, in the middle of London. 

She couldn’t really bring herself to closing the curtain on it and leaving it on its own. Perhaps it was lost. Or hungry. Otherwise, why should it be sitting there?

So after a short hesitation she opened the window to let it in. 

The animal immediately jumped onto the ground, and within seconds had transferred into an equally black but much larger…

“Snape…!” she gasped

“<i>Professor </i>Snape, Miss Matthews. And that brings the total to four blunders in one day. Not bad for a Ministry employee. I do hope you do not have any higher professional ambitions than what you are currently doing there?”.

As she stood staring at him in astonishment she was unable to think of a decent, to-the-point reply.

“Close those curtains, will you. We have been exposed enough to last a lifetime today”, he growled. 

“Were <i>you</i>…?” she started

“Yes, it was I. And before you start questioning me, close those cursed curtains and cast a muffliato spell”. 

With shaking hands she did as she was told, and then waved at the comfortable chairs, by which she wordlessly invited him to sit down. 

He lowered himself in the seat closest to him and for a moment, sat glaring at her in silence. 

Since she didn’t quite know what to say, Billie waited for him to start speaking. Meanwhile, she took the time to take in his appearance. 

He had changed. His face looked thinner and skinnier than it used to do, with his large nose protruding from it and his cheeks that looked not much more than two dark holes. Dark circles from lack of sleep stressed the tiredness in his eyes and the paleness of his skin. She didn’t know what to think of this. Despite the shock his sudden appearance had caused, she felt sorry for him. His tone, however, had lost nothing of its usual sarcasm.

“First of all, I would like to know why you should be after a dubious ingredient like Devil’s Snare and so desperately even that you decide to risk mine and your own life for it”. 

“I wasn’t risking your life”, she immediately defended herself. 

“Were you not?” Anger was now flashing in his black eyes, “For Merlin’s sake, Billie, you even sent me a letter requesting the stuff”

“What’s wrong with a letter? You’re my teacher!”

“<i>Used</i> to be your teacher. As far as I know there is no link between us anymore. And I prefer to keep it that way”. 

His expression softened somewhat when he saw the hurt reflected in her eyes. “To the outside world, I mean” he added wearily. “Nothing personal. And when it comes to letters, even <i>you </i>should be aware that these things are easily interceptible these days. Your own colleagues are probably involved in such work”.

He rested his arms on the sides of his chair and was now witnessing the discomfort that was visibly taking possession of her.

He sighed. “Why do you not tell me what your plans are, Billie?”. 

He hadn’t often used her first name in the past. The first time he had permitted himself this familiarity was when they had made a major breakthrough in their search for an improved composition of the Polyjuice Potion. Billie had seen a rare display of rapture in him then. And the last time had been when he had congratulated her on her results. 

And now he did it again, and that was saying something about the importance he attached to the incidents of the last hours.

“I can’t,” she said softly, “It’s a secret”.

“Veritaserum is an illegal potion and I must not and I do not want to provide you with its ingredients”. 

“I’m not brewing Veritaserum”, she said defiantly, which resulted in a sceptically raised eyebrow. “I can’t tell you what I need it for, but it’s not my, nor the person I’m reporting to’s intention to force secret information out of people”.

“Why did you order this devil’s snare then?”

“Not to brew Veritaserum”. 

“Then why do you need it, Billie? It cannot be used for anything else. Especially the dried leaves”

“I’ve told you, Professor, I can’t tell you that. But it’s nothing dangerous. Or illegal”. 

For the second time, he sighed deeply and sat studying her. 

“Very well, let us drop the subject. What made you think a muggle-born girl could walk in Knockturn Alley as if it were an ordinary shopping street, without being harressed or killed? You cannot be that naive to think that anyone would let you pass and buy devil’s snare just like that?”.

She bit her lip. “I was in disguise”. 

“Yes, well it did not take long for Bickering to see through your disguise, did it. You have never been a genius at transformation, if I may say so, so kindly seek other ways of changing your appearance in future”. 

She shot him an angry glance but thought it wise not to go there.

“On top of that,” he continued, “You attacked this Fatty, hexed him as well as another person who I know to be extremely violent, although I have to admit you knocked that one out hard enoughto not be threatened by <i>him</i> anymore. So you deserve credit for that. But you were in the middle of the street where you were surrounded by mere getto inhabitants who, despite frequent violent clashes between themselves, stick to each other like glue and will never let an intruder, let alone a muggle-born, even look at them, let alone touch them, meaning… <i>kick their private parts”. </i>

“Well, what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let myself being violated, could I”

“If you had simply ignored him, turned your back and gone back the way you came from, you would have been all right. You were very lucky you had been so negligent as to leave your flat without first checking if you were being watched, or I might not have been able to follow you all the way to Knockturn Alley and save you from a most compromising situation, … to put it tentatively”.

She furiously kept her lips together. 

“So let me sum this up for you one more time,” he continued mercilessly as he spread his fingers on one hand and started counting on them, “First you put yourself in a ridiculous disguise anyone who had ever crossed your path would see through in seconds. Then you travel through London without taking the least precaution; you let yourself being followed through the Leaky Cauldron and all the way down Diagon Alley to Knockturn Alley; attack creatures who, power-wise, are infinitely superior to you; walk into a shop of dubious reputation where you ask for an illegal ingredient, and when you are saved, and all the consequences of your stupid actions are finally removed and all harm undone, you open the window to the first animagus who comes looking for you! If I am not mistaken, that is five unforgivable acts of negligence in one day, all of which could have cost you your life!”. 

He was right of course. How he was right, but it infuriated her, especially because she had to be furious with herself as well.

She got up from her chair and angrily started pacing the room. “You’re exaggerating,” she finally snapped, “You’re paranoid. This is still a democracy, not a banana republic where people are spied on and letters are intercepted. Knockturn Alley is rough, true, and I should have stayed away from it. But how else was I supposed to get my ingredient when you didn’t even bother to reply to my request for help?”. 

Before she could finish her sentence, though, Snape had jumped out of his seat, and not for the first time that day grabbed her by the shoulders and brought his face at a mere inch from hers. 

“Paranoid, am I? A banana republic! For heaven’s sake, girl, you have no idea what you are talking about. You have no idea what is going on outside that little, protective world of yours. Do you not read any papers? Are you not looking at what your colleagues are doing? Do you seriously believe that Dolores Umbridge was an unhappy coincidence and that I was meeting you in secret last year for the mere fun of it?! Why do you think I am spending my time…” And all of a sudden, he cut himself short and as quickly as he had grabbed her, he threw his hands off her, as if he had burnt himself. 

He had nearly done a thing even Voldemort had never managed to make him do: blurt out his double life.

He took a while to regain his composure. 

“Let me tell you this, “ he continued softly, with his eyes boring deeply into her dark-blue ones, in which tears had appeared, “If you do not urgently open your ears and eyes, grasp the seriousness of the situation and take responsibility as a grown-up should, you will put your own, and other people’s lives in grave danger. And believe me, you cannot count on anyone to help you there, least of all me”. 

With that, he turned away from her and was just about to transform and hop on the window sill again, when he was stopped by the hand she suddenly lay on his arm. 

“Wait… don’t go yet….”

He took a deep breath and turned to face her again.

“I’m sorry…” she said , “I really am. Of course I know what’s going on. Well, not in detail, but I know that things are happening and that we have to be careful. Only… well… it <i>is</i> far away from my everyday life still and I suppose that’s why I’m taking riscs without realising it and why I don’t always think about the consequences of what I’m doing”. 

“It is not that far away, Billie…” he said softly, “Hannah Abbott’s parents have just been murdered. And muggles in higher governmental positions have systematically disappeared. Surely you knew that”. 

She nodded, too shocked for words at hearing about Hannah Abbot. It’s funny how one never associated bad tidings with one’s own life and always thought that these horrible things happened to anyone but oneself. But now, all of a sudden, danger had krept incredibly close.  Hannah Abbott’s parents murdered… She couldn’t believe it.

“Why do you need that Devil’s Snare?” he asked again.

She looked up at him. Maybe she was being naive and maybe she shouldn’t be doing this, but after all that had happened and had been said, she couldn’t help trusting him, or still trusted him like she had always done before. So she decided to take him into her confidence. 

“To brew a Polyjuice Potion-antidote”.

The eyebrows went up in utmost surprise

“What on earth for? Noone will ever want to drink that if they have stepped into another person’s body!”.

“They won’t have to if I can make a spray out of it that can be used by people who suspect the real person is not standing in front of them”.

He was openly staring at her now. “But… “ and then he realised he was too stunned for speech. So he took a moment to gather his thoughts and tried again, “Suppose an antidote <i>could</i> be made that would neutralise the effect of a Polyjuice Potion, … I do not even dare to think of a spray… what does Devil’s snare have to do with it?”

“I found out that its leaves neutralise the transforming characteristics of the ingredients… well… not in all of them… I’m still experimenting with it but I ran out of devil’s snare leaves so I had to stop my work”. 

For the first time that day, anger and astonishment were disappearing from his face and a small flicker of admiration appeared in his eyes. 

“The neutralising effect of devil’s snare is not unheard of…” he admitted, “I cannot remember where I came across such a theory but I must be able to find it back. But then… why would you use dried leaves specifically? Had you not better make use of the fresh leaves, or perhaps even the stems or the flower petals?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “I only had dried leaves in my store”. 

“Most plants have far more powerful characteristics when freshly picked. I cannot see why it would not be the same with Devil’s snare”. 

“But the petals or the stems may have different characteristics altogether”. 

“I know.” he agreed, “That is why they are never used in Veritaserum. Still, what is true in one potion is not necessarily the same in another one”. 

He thought for a moment. “I used to know a place where it was growing, but that was years ago. I am not sure the plant is still to be found there”. 

“Perhaps it still exists in that same area?”

“Perhaps…” 

He cast her a thoughtful look while he was trying to think of a way to find the plant, and more importantly, to get it here. He couldn’t possibly visit her again; that was far too dangerous. Perhaps she should come and see him at Hogwarts. But that was even more dangerous. Without a decent disguise, she would be spotted by the wrong people straight away. The castle was constantly being watched. Of course, the fact that she should visit the castle didn’t necessarily mean that she was coming to visit <i>him</i>…

“Listen, Billie,” he finally said, “I will try to find the plant for you. But I cannot bring it here. I am not sure how we can solve this in a safe way and I need time to think about that”. 

In secret, he had to admit that the radiant smile that suddenly broke out on her face largely compensated for all the trouble she was giving him. 

“I do not guarantee anything” he warned her, “And before I do anything, you must make a few solemn promises”. As he was saying this, he bored his eyes deeply into hers, like he had done so many times before, but this time, there wasn’t anything threatening in it. 

“You must never write to me again. You must not try to get in touch with me in any way; not via the floo-powder network; nor via ordinary mail, apparition, messengers… Do not trust anyone and above all… do not <i>tell</i> anyone, not even the person who ordered you to brew this antidote, that we have been in touch and do not breathe a word about anything that has happened and be said today”.

She nodded affirmatively.

 “And tell the person who ordered the potion to be patient. This will take time”. 

She nodded again. 

“Very well. I am leaving then”. He briefly touched her arm. It was a completely unexpected and somewhat protective gesture. “Please bear in mind that you are not much of an overall genius at wizardry and therefore limited in your ability to protect yourself. And you are very lucky not to be in my class this year”.

She gave him a non-understanding look

“I am teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts this year…” he explained, “and believe me, you would not have passed this year’s finals if I had taught you. Anyway, even if I am not impressed with your transfiguration or defensive skills, I am once again astonished at how brilliant you are at Potions”.

His words touched her so deeply, that she was unable to speak or to hide the effect they had on her, especially now that real softness spoke from the otherwise so hard features.

“I am sure you will succeed” he smiled. And as quickly as the softness had appeared, the bitter lines at the corner of his lips took over again, when the dark aspects of his life came back into his mind. “But you will have to work on the other skills, Billie. I am serious about this. And be watchful”. He could see the trust she was displaying under his mind-reading gaze and something else he couldn’t quite define. But whatever it was, both things confirmed his fears: she was sensitive and emotional rather than rational, and displaying it far too much; and therefore, she was a danger to herself. Too trustful to be careful, she stood absolutely no chance against the events that were about to happen and the people, or rather creatures, that would cross her path. 

“Should I wipe today’s memories from your mind, just to be on the safe side?”

“No!” She stepped away from him as if stung by a bee. 

“You are not up to anything, are you?” he asked suspiciously.

“No, not at all…” she hastened to say, “but… well… don’t take them away… please”.

The frown between his eyebrows told her that he didn’t think much of her refusal.

“Besides, it’s illegal,” she continued, “I thought only the Minister of Magic himself had the authority to manipulate memories”. 

“For your information, Miss Matthews” and a bit of the anger he had been displaying all day was now coming back to him, “I was forced to wipe those memories in Knockturn Alley to protect <i>your</i> life. And I would now, temporarily, remove your memories, or rather bring them to the back of your mind, to save <i>mine</i>. I should deem that fair enough”.

She suddenly felt ashamed at her rudeness. It was a poor way of showing gratitude for the trouble he had saved her from. And after all, what did it matter? She had only wanted to be able to cherish the last, more precious bit of their conversation, but then again… what would that benefit her? 

“Forgive me. I shouldn’t have said that”.

“Very well. Keep them. As long as you stick to your promises”. 

She lifted her eyes back to his. “I will. Noone will hear of this and I will wait for a sign from you before I do anything”. 

Well that was a start. And past events had taught him that she was indeed a very discrete person if she could help it. He sighed. There was nothing more he could do for her now and it was high time he left, before any inconvenient questions arose at Hogwarts about his absence.

He turned away from her and walked to the window. 

“Will you let me out? Extinguish the candles first”. 

And before she had had the chance to reply, he had transformed and the bat hopped on the window sill. 

With regret, and a genuine worry about his safety, she let him out.


	6. Part II Chapter 6

6

 

 

Work had become immensely dull since that day. 

Not being able to work on her secret antidote, she was forced to focus on the administrative tasks she was paid for, and that gave her very little satisfaction. Being the latest member of staff to join the department was probably the reason why the most tedious tasks landed on her desk. On the other hand, the simple things she had to do made it possible for her to think and sort a few things out.

 

Immediately after Professor Snape had left, Billie had stayed behind and tried to sort out the strange emotions she was going through. 

It had happened before, in her seventh year, and it had now happened again: for a short while, his mask of indifference and cynicism had fallen off and he had shown a genuine liking, or at least respect, and just like before, Billie had no idea what to think of it, how to respond to it or if she should think anything about it in the first place. With pity she pictured him as he had sat opposite her, with his skinny build, tired eyes and the overall sadness that was somehow radiating from him. She relived the feeling of shame at the memory of his completely justified reproaches. But she was also thinking in fond terms about the Knockturn Alley part, which was funny, since, despite his heroic deed of saving her, it had been a terrifying experience like she had never experienced before. 

But seeing him back had awakened other memories of him. How they had worked together and walked the Forbidden Forest during a thunderstorm in the dead of night; how they had visited Dumbledore when the whole Ministry had been looking for the Headmaster; the expression on his face when he had looked at the ruined house next to the one Dumbledore had been staying in –which still gave her an uncomfortable feeling- and how he had brought out the best of her during the preparations for the NEWTS examinations. 

But most of all, she had been thinking about his warning, especially the bit about taking responsibility and getting to understand how things stood.

Therefore, since that day, she had started to read the papers and follow the news with more vigour than she had done so far. She also took more time to chat with her colleagues. She was very careful not to tell them anything personal about herself, but she listened a lot, and what she heard was very sadly illustrating what Snape had insinuated: small incidents; the proof of being watched; even tales of pestering and provocative actions mainly against muggle-borns. When it came to the latter group, Billie heard more and more openly expressed opinions that were nothing more than insults and calls for oppression, “blood-puring” so to speak.  

She had started to categorise the different people she met. Some of them were clearly of dubious character, and therefore to be avoided at all costs. Even if noone openly dared support Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Billie could see how some were quite indulging when it came to Voldemort’s past deeds and increasing popularity, and others kept themselves surprisingly quiet as soon as the topic popped up. She was very careful never to raise the subject herself, because she didn’t want to draw any special attention to her person at all. There was no room for new friendships or the sharing of feelings or thoughts. 

And that made her increasingly lonely and sad.

 

The only exception was the relief she got from the weekly visits she was now paying to Fred and George’s joke shop. She wasn’t there for shopping purposes of course. Very gradually, the shop had become a secret meeting place for people who were not so happy with the present course of events. 

The Weasley family in its widest sense, meaning aunts, nephews, great-uncles and the closer related Arthur and Molly, were frequent visitors to the shop, as well as an increasing number of old schoolfriends. They were a very welcome change to the impersonal contacts Billie had during the week. But even more important was the valuable, unfiltered information that was shared by them. She learnt all sorts of things that would never make it to the Prophet of course, for example that the secret group lead by Professor Dumbledore,  the Order of the Phoenix, was still trying to be on top of things and was sabotaging all attempts by Voldemort and his followers to get a grip on society, especially on its more powerful positions. And it was clear that Snape was still part of it, which pleased her enormously. Furthermore, Lee Jordan, the Weasley twins and a couple of other classmates had built their own little Order and in their own typical way contributed to subversive activities, by inventing the most fantastic potions and devices they could think of to make any Death Eater’s life as difficult, embarrassing and painful as possible, going from instant diarrhoea-causing toothpaste; Moaning Mead that, very cleverly, caused its drinker to burst into tears as soon as he found himself in a large company but not until several days later, so that the link with the mead was difficult to make; various dust powders that made the person they were sprinkled on paralysed with fear the moment they wanted to break into a house and cause trouble, or that forced them to suddenly apologise to their victims, or insult their fellow-Death Eaters, or do the opposite than what they had intended to do. The team’s inventiveness was absolutely amazing and Billie admired them enormously.

 

Because she couldn’t continue her work with the antidote, she also decided to spend more time on mastering charms and defensive spells. Snape’s making fun of her limited skills had irritated her somewhat. She wanted to prove something here. And with what was happening or bound to happen, she couldn’t afford to only possess mediocre means of protection. So with renewed energy she got her old course books from home and started to revise the charms and spells she had learnt in her old school days, with special attention to the Defence Against the Dark Arts spells. Just like her fellow-students, she had never had many brilliant teachers for the subject, but thanks to Harry and his DA, the gaps had been filled a little last year, even if she hadn’t joined the group until after Christmas and hardly for more than a couple of weeks. 

All in all, she passed a fruitful time. Kingsley wasn’t too happy with her lack of progress but understood that now was not the time to stick their necks out and force things. If it wasn’t safe to find or buy the devil’s snare, then it had to wait. As she had promised, she hadn’t told him about Snape’s involvement in the matter and just told him that he had not replied and that she was looking for it herself. But as it was, Kingsley was far too preoccupied and busy to worry much about the antidote, in the first place. He did pass her smaller tasks from time to time still, mostly potions that needed improvement.

 

At work, however, things started to become increasingly disagreeable. It started when, a couple of months after Billie had joined the team, a new girl was recruited who immediately got the same, more responsible and therefore more interesting tasks the other colleagues were performing too. And that was that for Billie’s theory that the dull work had come her way simply because she was new to the job; she happened to be the only muggle-born employee in that department.

She kept all comments to herself, however, but wasn’t very happy with the way things were proceeding.

Then, a couple of weeks later, a new Deputy Head was introduced, Mr Manning, a tall, shiny-faced man in his early thirties, who was eying the landscape as if he had always owned the place and who immediately showed a dislike for her. And together with that, small irritating incidents became a daily habit. 

On his very first day, Mr Manning walked up to her desk and picked up her badge. 

“Matthews… hm… where did you say you came from?”

“Oxford, sir”, she replied, with a sneaking suspicion what it was he was after.

“How peculiar. I can’t recall any wizards in the Oxford region by that name?” The mocking undertone was downright insulting . 

“That’s because my parents are muggles, sir”, she said as she looked him straight into the eyes. A welcome bonus she got out of her extra defence practice was the increasing self-confidence and composure.

“Is that so…? Muggles you say… “ His tone was really becoming dangerous now. He was gazing at her with a look that could easily have competed with Snape’s foulest smirk. He let a long silence fall between them and the rest of the team, “Well…” he finally said with his lips curled into a disagreeable grin, “I suppose you can’t help it”. 

And with a look full of contempt he turned away from her desk and left her alone. 

 

Similar incidents happened afterwards. Every day, especially when he caught her alone, like in the tea corner for example, he made some sneering remark, mostly related to her ancestors. Meanwhile, she also felt a growing distance coming from her colleagues, resulting in lunch appointments or after-work drinks to which she was not invited, especially the ones initiated by Mannings. 

At times, she felt she didn’t care. She told herself that there were far more important matters to deal with and much more interesting people outside this place to have drinks with than this lot. But very often she was lonely, and frustrated at the injustice of it all. Never in her wizarding life had she felt inferior to the extent it was happening now, purely because of her origin. During her years at Hogwarts, Snape had openly favoured the Slytherins of course, but that had been different because the whole Gryffindor, Huffelpuff and Ravenclaw group had been discriminated, regardless of their blood purety. And yes, she had very nearly failed her NEWTS, due to a biased Ministry official, but the man had quickly been put to place and she had received the marks she had deserved.

 

Towards the end of the next day, Billie was just finishing the last of the filing work she had been doing, when suddenly Mr Manning stood at her desk again, flicking through one of the files she had neatly piled on it. She decided that the best thing she could do was not to take notice and started clearing her desk. Just then, Manning turned towards Linda who was sitting opposite Billie and did so with such a big sweep of his arm that half of the files fell to the floor, sending their content in all different directions.

“Oops,” he said with what was becoming a familiar false grin, “I’m afraid you’ll have to do that all over again”. 

Billie was seething with rage, and needed all her recently practiced self-control to stop herself from flinging the ink pot at his head. Situations like these made her realise that she would never fully master the art of Occlumency, if she should ever have that ambition.

She spent two hours putting everything in order again, and when she had finished and grabbed her bag and coat to leave, he reappeared into the landscape.

“Tell you what, Matthews” he said when he was at just a couple of inches from her, “We don’t like your sort here”. 

Billie fixed him with a stare that could have turned firewater into ice. 

“In my world, mudbloods shouldn’t be allowed to work at the Ministry of Magic”. 

“In <i>our</i> world, ‘mudblood’ is a forbidden word, especially at the Ministry, sir”. 

Her cheek was clearly infuriating him. 

“Not much longer, Matthews” he hissed through clenched teeth with his hands threateningly leaning on her desk “And your world is definitely not mine, so there is no ‘our’ world”.

He straightened again. “It is my intention to have you chucked out of here before the end of the week”.

“Then you will have to find a good reason to do so.” Billie snapped at him. 

“Don’t worry…” he whispered, “I won’t have to look very far”.

 

And, indeed, it didn’t take long for him to find one. The very next morning, Billie was called into his office where he was joined by the Head of Department Mr Hedge, who was eying her with something that mostly resembled guilt. On the desk were two offical forms Billie remembered having put in a file with special care. Both pieces of parchment, however, were now stained with tea and the files they came out of were lying open in front of them. 

“We regret to inform you that we no longer require your services”, said Manning, his whole body language disgustingly expressing triumph. “First of all, you are negligent. These files for example contain documents that have been put in them at random”,which was a blatant lie of course.

“An administrative ministry department cannot afford to lose track of its offical documents. Where would it all end if files were put away with the sole purpose of having them out of the way, and valuable registers like these two examples were used as coffee pads”. 

“I can assure you that they were not in that state when I filed them, sir,” said Billie coldly.

“And as you are illustrating yourself, you are rude, disrespectful, non-communicative towards your colleagues and a roadblock on our way to optimised teamwork”.

While saying this, he had half turned towards Mr Hedge as if to demand his confirmation of the facts he was stating, but his Department Head did not seem to show any inclination to openly agree with him. He and Billie had always got on rather well, but assuming that he would jump at her defence was largely overoptimistic as well. Instead, he stood nervously fumbling with the quill in his hands, carefully avoiding her eyes, clearly very eager to have it over and done with as soon as possible.

Billie gritted her teeth at his cowardice and at the injustice of the situation. Admittedly, the prospect of leaving this horrible place behind would have been bright, if it hadn’t been for the secret task she was performing for Kingsley Shacklebolt and the tiny detail that she would be without an income as from that day. But the mere deceit and the arrogance radiating from the other side of the desk, combined with Mr Hedge’s cowardice made her insides twist and turn with rage and gave her the feeling she was instantly going to be sick on the carpet, which wasn’t the most unattractive thought after all.

She was forced to sign her resignation – the tip of the wand that was pressed against her temple substantially speeded up the process- and was told to wait for the caretaker who would see her safely out of the building… “safe” for the Ministry itself, that is.

 

After she had turned away from the Ministry with a slamming door and many curses, she stood fuming on the pavement for a while. Her first thought was to walk to the pub at the corner of the street and order a drink. But then she made the reflexion that sitting alone in a pub, with a glass of alcohol in front of her, at a time which, for many people, was closer to breakfast still than to lunch, was rather sad. 

So she decided to pay a visit to Emily’s apothecary in Diagon Alley instead. She desperately needed to spill these events out to a trustworthy person and she could do with a couple of comforting words too.

 

“But that’s horrible!”, her friend exclaimed as soon as she had told her the last bit of the day’s events. “You shouldn’t leave it at that, Billie. It’s completely illegal what they did!”

“Says who?” Billie shook her head, “It’s my word against theirs, and besides, I don’t want to go back anymore”. 

“No, but they could at least pay you decent notice money. You’re without a job now, and not even sure you’ll receive a benefit, and you have a flat to pay”.

“I know”, Billie sighed, “Not that I still need it. I took it because of this job. Might as well go back to Oxford now”.

“Would you like that?” Emily frowned, “I came back to my parents’ house after seven years of Hogwarts and it’s been quite tough. Especially now that they hardly let me out of the house, for fear I’d come back imperiused or worse. You’ll lose your freedom”. 

“I don’t think so. My dad lives in his lab, and my mum’s travelling the world”, smiled Billie, “And I doubt <i>she</i> realises what’s going on in the wizarding world”. 

“She can’t be that naive. There are disappeared or attacked muggles in every paper”.

“No, you’re right,” Billie admitted, thinking of the conversaton she had recently had with her dad in the Oxford tea room. “But if I don’t find a job very quickly, I won’t have another choice than to go back… even if I’d love to stay in London, close to everything and everybody”.

“You can apparate in a second”. 

“I know, but it’s not the same”, she shrugged, “Do you think it will be hard to find another job?”

Emily thought for a moment. “Don’t know. But I think so…” she said slowly, “These are strange times, Billie. What happened at the Ministry could very well happen anywhere else”. 

Billie nodded. “Public opinion is shifting, I have the feeling. You could tell at the Ministry. There were more and more colleagues who didn’t try very hard to hide their low esteem for muggles. One of them blamed muggle-borns for the many bankruptcies in Diagon Alley”. 

“Come on! Everyone knows why these shops are closing down! The owners are bullied out of them by Death Eaters”

“You know that because you live here,” said Billie, “But it’s never been officially stated anywhere. Most people still don’t want to hear the truth. Less than a year ago, Voldemort was still said to be dead and Harry called a liar”.  

“True,” agreed Emily. 

They were silent for a while and then Emily caught sight of the big chest that hid the entrance to the forbidden lab. “What are you going to do about that potion now?”

“I don’t know, “Billie bit her lip. She had no idea if Kingsley would have been informed about her dismissal yet and what he would think when he heard the reason for it. “Perhaps I should go to Fred and George’s shop and see if Molly or Arthur are there. I believe they are in touch with him. Fred mentioned it some time ago”. 

“I wouldn’t go now if I were you. You may have been followed”. 

“Followed?” Billie smiled, “You sound like… “ and then stopped herself. 

“Like who?”

She was silent. Emily was her friend, but Snape had explicitely forbidden her to mention their meeting to anyone. Pity. She would have loved to confide in Emily.

Her friend however wasn’t that easily put off. With a mixture of curiosity and mischief she asked, “Who are you meeting that I shouldn’t know of? What are you up to, Billie?” 

But Billie kept her lips firmly together and thought of a clever way to change the subject, but Emily was quicker.

“Snape’s been in the shop today”. 

Billie’s head shot up in surprise and that was a blunder. Her friend had no trouble reading the signs. 

“It was him you were talking about, wasn’t it”, she said, marvelling at the expression on the other girl’s face. “Have you been in touch with him?”

Billie shot her an exasperating look. “What if I have?”.

“Oh…” said Emily, clearly offended, “I didn’t know you had become so secretive all of a sudden. You used to be different”. 

“Sorry, “ said Billie unhappily, “I don’t want to keep any secrets from you but…” 

She let a deep sigh. “I promised not to tell anyone. Yes, we have been in touch, because I needed something for my potion”. 

“I can’t see what all the secrecy is about then”. 

“I… don’t know either,” said Billie, “I think he’s in a difficult position but I’ve no idea what he’s dealing with”. She was silent for a few moments. It was true what she said, and she had been giving the matter quite some thought since the day he had saved her from Fatty in Knockturn Alley. It was always hard to know what Snape was up to, but she had a very uncomfortable feeling about him now. He had looked so exhausted and under pressure, and with all the things that were happening these days she didn’t think he was merely suffering from stress at work.

“Why did he come here?” she asked her friend. “Anything special?”

“No, he was after a couple of ingredients. Expect his stores had run out. Nothing special”. 

“Can you remember what it was he was buying?”

Emily raised her eyebrows at the funny question. “Let me see… black beetles, mandrake puss, … erm… what else? Nothing special you know”. 

“No rare or forbidden ingredients?”

“Is he going to poison us all you think?” Emily laughed. “What do you think he’s working on? A bomb?”

Billie shook her head and smiled. “No of course not. But… he didn’t… you know… ask any specific questions?”

“No. What kind of questions should he have asked?”

“Dunno,” she said. 

“Well, there was nothing special about his visit. I don’t even think he said more than three words except for the names and quantities of the ingredients he needed”. 

“Good”. Billie couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed at that. And then thought she was being ridiculous. Of course he wasn’t going to openly ask for her in a shop. Or drop a parcel of devil’s snare leaves on the counter.

“Never mind,” she said, “It’s not that important”. She cast a curious glance at her friend next. “Why did you think it was Snape I was meeting secretly?”

Emily was openly laughing now. “How many times have I had to cover up for you last year, when you were secretly meeting him under Umbridge’s very nose! And hello… ! It’s Snape we’re talking about! There aren’t that many people who have this secrecy about them all the time”

Billie smiled, and then looked worried again. “You won’t tell anyone, will you? I don’t know why but it’s clear that he doesn’t want to be openly associated with me”. 

“I won’t tell anyone”, Emily promised. “I never did, remember? Not under Umbridge and definitely not now. And now I think it’s time for some food. I’m starving”. 

 

They spent the rest of the evening in the agreeable company of the rest of Emily’s family, exchanging and discussing all sorts of incidents and other news they had heard. All of it was little encouraging, but being able to share the news and their thoughts about it with people who had the same view on things was a relief for Billie, and she decided to spend the rest of the evening enjoying the prospect of not having to go back to the Ministry and not thinking about the financial problems she would soon be faced with.


	7. Part II Chapter 7

7

 

Darkness had slowly settled down by the time Billie arrived at her flat. She had trouble finding the key hole but didn’t want to light her wand for fear one of her muggle flatmates saw her. The moment she had managed to turn the key and open the door, however, she felt something was terribly wrong.She switched on the light and the scene that met her eyes instantly made her freeze with horror. 

The whole flat was a mess. Drawers were turned upside down; cupboards stood open with their content spread all over the floor; the chest that contained her spellbooks was cracked open and what remained of her books was just a messy pile of torn pages. Furniture was knocked over. Even her bed had been stripped and the torn sheets been sent flying everywhere, together with the clothes they had pulled out of her wardrobe. 

Billie weakly sank down on the only couch that was still standing upright and for a moment could only stare and sit, as all sorts of questions and thoughts crisscrossed her mind. 

Who had done this and what had they been after? Was it a search or just an act of vandalism? And why was she picked as a target? What had she done wrong?

Snape’s words of warning suddenly rang in her ears again, and she decided she should act immediately. It wasn’t safe to be here anymore. She knew for certain that there had been nothing of any interest hidden in her place, so the burglars would not have been able to steal any valuables or learn anything about her that they shouldn’t know. But what if she had been at home? Would they have resorted to physical violence as well? And again she wondered who they had been and why they had chosen her.

She wasn’t a star at cleaning up and restoring furniture with her wand, especially in her present state of distress, so she had to collect her belongings and remove the damaged clothes, books and sheets manually, which took the whole night. 

 

When the last box was packed with books and clothes and all furniture, lamps and other pieces that belonged to the landlord put back in place, daylight was flooding in, and Billie sank down on a kitchen chair, waiting for the kettle to boil. 

She had to get in touch with her parents and explain what had happened and ask if they agreed with her returning to their house. Now that she was unemployed and after this burglery, she didn’t see the point in looking for an alternative place to live in in London. And she had to get in touch with the landlord Mr Brown and inform him about her departure. 

Not that he would mind very much. People were queueing for flats like this one and Billie wouldn’t be surprised if Mr Brown jumped at the occasion of having new tennants to charge an even higher rent than he already did.

She looked at her watch but it was still too early for the calls, so she decided to go down to the corner bookstore and buy her daily papers.

The Daily Prophet which, as always, the shopkeeper took from a hidden drawer underneath his counter was dominated by a big photograph that stood shouting on the front cover. It showed a messy place, not unlike the way her flat had looked last night, with a devastated family amidst the rubbish and damages the burglers had left behind. 

So Billie’s case hadn’t been the only one. Underneath the picture it said that this Liverpudlian family had been observed for some time because they were suspected of leading an underground organisation against the government. The people on the picture didn’t at all look like anarchists though. Their name was not mentioned, only initials, K, but Billie thought she recognised a second year-Hufflepuff student from last year. 

She let a deep sigh.

“Sad, eh,” said the shopkeeper as he saw her gazing at the picture, “Where will it all end, I wonder? Every day there’s talk about riots and attacks”. 

Billie nodded. “Do you know if any people have been attacked in this area?” she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Who knows. Noone’s telling me anything anymore. Everyone’s scared of everyone. I don’t trust any customers I don’t know myself. Only yesterday there was this dodgy-looking fellow coming in to buy himself a pack of cigarettes and who tried to trick me into giving my opinion on what’s going on. But I didn’t say anything, I didn’t. Before you know it, you’re arrested and locked up in Azkaban”. 

Billie nodded again, and with a friendly goodmorning left the shop. She wondered if the dodgy-looking man had been her burgler.

As she sat at her desk, leafing through the papers and sipping from her tea, her eyes suddenly caught sight of a strange announcement at the bottom of the advertisments page. It took a second before she realised the announcement was a message and that it wasn’t printed on the paper. It was typed on a separate piece of parchment and glued to the page.

 

<i>Found it.Empty your letterbox tonight at nine pm sharp. S</i>

 

She read and reread the message several times because she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. And after that, she sat leaning back in the morning sun with a broad smile on her face and a heart that was racing with excitement. 

He had found the devil’s snare! And he would drop it in her letterbox that very same evening.

But as she was marvelling at this, she realised there was something not logical in that. Why should he ask her to empty her letterbox at nine pm sharp? Did that mean that he would pass by shortly before that to drop the parcel in the box and didn’t want to run the risk of anyone else taking it? It seemed a very cautious way of handling things, but wasn’t he running a higher risk himself if he passed by in person? 

She wondered if she would catch a glimpse of him when he turned up, and so she decided she would keep a close watch on the letterbox in the front garden tonight. 

 

She spent the rest of the day on the phone and making arrangements for her move. As she had predicted, her landlord was not unhappy when he heard the news of her departure and rushed over to the flat to deal with the paperwork straight away.

Her parents had no objection to her returning home either, on the contrary. Her father drove his car to her flat immediately after her call, and helped her load the boxes into it. As they were going up and down the stairs with their arms full, Billie started wondering if it was a good idea to move back to her parents’ place after all. She might put their lives at stake. Or they might receive the same unpleasant visitors as she had had that night. It wouldn’t be the first time that muggle relatives of wizards were attacked.

She hesitated when she decided a change of plan might be advisable, but then she realised she had absolutely no alternative. Anyone who would keep her at their place would be running risks. Anyone with their heart on the right place was running risks anyway these days. 

By the time they were finished and the flat empty, it was close to eight already. It took her a lot of effort to convince her father that she didn’t want any food and was going to spend the last night in her flat, instead of joining him, but she didn’t tell him why. By the time he had finally got into the car and driven away, it was ten to nine. 

The funny thing was that, as they had been moving the boxes and packages from the flat to the car, they had spent a long time with the letterbox within range, and noone had even come in its vicinity, let alone dropped something in it. And as the minutes ticked away, the street became even more deserted, with no people walking by and not even cars pulling up. 

Finally, she took her coat and her keys, just in case he came in person and took her somewhere. Then she pulled the door shut behind her. 

She was at the letterbox in seconds, opened its little door and peered inside. 

There was only a piece of parchment there. 

She stretched her hand towards it and just as the tower clock struck nine and her fingers closed around the note, she received an immense shock: a nasty jerk somewhere around her belly and next, she was being transported by portkey.

 

It had never been her favourite way of travelling. For one thing, it made her terribly sick. 

It wasn’t long after she had rather unelegantly landed on a rocky underground, that the world around her started to spin even more than it had done during the trip and the next moment her stomach turned and with painful fits she was throwing up.

The trouble was that she had had very little to eat in the last twenty-four hours, so being sick was rather a painful experience. When her stomach twisted a last time, giving her the horrible feeling she was going to die, she felt how a couple of arms came around her waist and held her steady to prevent her from falling over. When the trees around her came into perspective again and the spinning slowed down, she became aware of the warm body that was holding her and of fingers that were gently pushing a loose string of hair behind her ear. 

“Are you all right?”

She looked up, straight into the black eyes she had been hoping to see for weeks.

“I think so. Sorry”. 

“Do not apologise,” he said, “Travel sickness is not uncommon with portkeys”.

“I’m always sick when I use them”, she said, still rather shaky with the experience. “I probably haven’t found the trick to travel without spinning around so much”.

“I am not sure you can learn. If I had known, I would have chosen another way of having you here”. 

She smiled weakly. “Never mind. It was probably the easiest way”. 

And being held so gently and comfortingly by the least probable person one would expect to do so was largely compensating for the sacrifice. 

“Can you stand now?”

She nodded and with a reassuring squeeze in her shoulder he released her. 

“Do you have difficulties travelling on a broomstick too?” he asked as he let his eyes run over her deadly pale face.

“No, not really. I’m not too fond of them but I can manage”. 

“Good, because we will have to take one and leave immediately. Do you mind sharing mine? Apparition is no option, unfortunately”. 

“I don’t mind. If you steer”. 

“Very well. It will take us about an hour from here” Out of nowhere had appeared a broomstick that was hanging mid-air, shining brightly in the weak moonlight.

Snape motioned for her to settle down and took place in front of her. He waved his wand in circles around the both of them, a disillusionment charm that would make them practically undetectable for lookers-on. Then he told her to hold tight and in seconds, they had risen several tens of feet up in the air and were speeding through the dark and silent night. 

Sharing a broomstick with Snape was quite a bigger deal in reality than it sounded. Billie did her best to keep some sort of a distance, but as they took off, she could only just prevent herself from shooting backwards off the broomstick, by seizing Snape’s cloak with both hands. But when he suddenly took a sharp bend which nearly made her lose her balance altogether, she pushed her initial reserve aside and grabbed him by the waist. She was still feeling rather wobbly because of her sickness earlier-on, so she held her arms firmly pressed around him and let her head rest on his shoulder. Most of the time, the wind sent his cloak into her face, and the rapidly moving images around her brought a slight nauseatic feeling back to her stomach, so she ended up closing her eyes altogether. 

 

Very gradually, her body became used to the speed of the broomstick, probably because Snape was now keeping it steady, and she started to enjoy the flight. A positive side-effect of holding him so tightly was that she immediately felt a lot warmer. Her jeans, shirt and spring jacket were not very suitable for a nightly flight, especially since the air had become chilly and humid again. 

Now that she had fully recovered from the trip by portkey and their sudden take-off and was more or less comfortably settled against Snape’s back, she opened her eyes and started to look around. 

The landscape underneath them was rough and consisted mostly of rocks. Wherever she looked, Billie could see no lakes or anything she recognised. 

“Where are we?” she asked.

“We have just left Yorkshire. We are on our way to Hogwarts”. 

“Hogwarts?” she asked in astonishment, “But why didn’t you send me directly to Hogsmeade then? Wouldn’t that have been easier?”

He shook his head. “Not safe enough. All magical transportation is being watched; apparition, floo powder, portkeys… especially around Hogwarts. Broomsticks are more difficult to control and hardly detectable on a night like this”. 

“And why are you taking me to Hogwarts? Do you have it there?”

“No, but I know where to find it. And it is not exactly Hogwarts we are flying to. We are on our way to the outer edge of the Forbidden Forest”.“Oh,” was all she said. 

They flew on in silence. Billie really started to enjoy their trip now. She felt warm and relaxed, and suddenly she smiled when it occurred to her that not an hour ago, she had been hoping to catch a glimpse of Snape at her letter box, and now she was flying here, with her body pressed against his, holding him as if they were on the most intimate terms. 

“Be careful, Billie,” he warned her after a while, “I am going to dive”. 

The descent sent her closer to him still, and as they sped down and abruptly changed course, she tightened her grip. Then, as they were nearly touching the tree tops with their toes, the broomstick slowed down and very carefully, Snape took it lower still and manoeuvred it between the trees. 

They were practically flying at walking speed now. Billie shot worried glances around her as all kinds of different sounds met them. She recognised the howling of a wolf, and the screeching of owls, but she knew that a lot more creatures had to be sitting and hanging around them. She rested her chin on his shoulder again and together with him sat peering through the darkness in front of them. 

Finally, where a small cluster of rocks were standing, the broomstick halted and Billie felt the ground under her feet. 

Snape let her step off first. Then he took out his wand, softly knocked the tip against the broomstick and the next instant, he was holding a miniature version of his broom, which he safely pocketed. Then he pointed at a dark hole that was barely visible between the rocks. “Over there,” he whispered, “Come”.

Billie cast an uncertain glance around her. She still heard all sorts of noises around them but it was impossible to guess what creatures produced them. She quickly followed Snape, who was already walking in the direction of what was probably a cave.

When they were at only a few paces from its entrance, they were both startled by the sudden sound of something scurrying towards them. Snape swirled around and received a severe shock when he saw what was chasing them. 

“Quick, Billie, RUN!” he shouted. 

He blasted a spell behind them and another one, and together they dashed to the entrance at full speed. Just before she tumbled inside, Billie realised something had caught up with them and the next instant, a hairy thing was reaching out for her. Snape’s spell caught the spider full in the face, which made it spit with pain and instantly release Billie, who turned around and saw to her horror that ten or more monsters had been chasing them. The one that had been attacked by Snape had withdrawn, but another one clearly had the intention of following them into the cave, until it was stopped by Snape’s “adoperio claustrum!” which set a huge stone in motion that shut the giant spiders and the last bit of light out in seconds. 

The next moment they were covered in complete darkness.

 

Billie lit her wand at the same time as Snape and looked around. They had landed in a small cave that, as she had a closer look, appeared to be the entrance to a tunnel of some sort. She cast him a questioning look.

“The Devil’s snare is a couple of yards further down that corridor”, he said with his eyes still on the completely obstructed entrance. “We cannot go back through here; not in the first hours in any case” He caught her worried glance. “There may be a way out on the other side”. 

“Shall we get the plant first then, and see where the tunnel leads to?” she asked with a slightly trembling voice.

He looked into her grave face, “Do not worry, Billie. We will get out”. 

She sent him a weak smile. True, things would have looked a lot worse if she hadn’t been in his company here. But the cave was oppressing and if those horrible spiders didn’t give up soon, she and Snape might have dug their own grave. 

They entered the tunnel in silence. All around them was darkness and rock. Everything seemed quiet. 

As they walked on, Billie wondered who had made the tunnel and why. Snape was probably right: it had to lead somewhere; hopefully somewhere out of the Forbidden Forest, preferably to the castle itself. 

They hadn’t walked for more than a couple of minutes when the tunnel opened up into what seemed to be a cave again and Snape stopped to intensify the light at the tip of his wand and reveal the place. 

To Billie’s delight, a messy collection of dark-green stems and leaves was slithering its way across the floor at just a few paces from where they were standing.

“Amazing,” she whispered, “and so huge!”

Snape nodded. “Be careful with the light, Billie. They cannot stand it. Yes, I was hoping they would still be there but I had not expected them to grow so abundantly”

She cast him a surprised, sideways look “You were hoping? Do you mean you weren’t sure?”

He shrugged. “One is never sure. They are a peculiar type of plants”, he said, “They can grow everywhere and nowhere, and one moment pop up here and the next fifty miles further-on”.

“I had no idea,” said Billie, “No wonder they’re so hard to find”.“And they are deadly poisonous and strangle you in seconds”, he added, “which is probably why they are not very popular either”. 

 “So how should we do this?” she asked, “They’ll probably grab us as soon as we try to take them. Can we paralyse them?”. 

“No, they are plants; no men or animals with a central nervous system. You cannot charm them”.

“So what do we do then?” she asked again.

“Simply take them” and the corners of his lips lifted a little when he met her surprised gaze,”If you do not exercise any form of pressure, they will be as tame as daisies”.

“And how do you do that?”

“WIth patience, “ he said and walked over to where the first branches lay curling around each other. He sat on his heels, stretched his hands towards them and in seconds, his arm was covered in dark-green stems and leaves that were winding themselves up towards his shoulder. 

Billie took out her wand, just to be on the safe side. 

Their eyes met again. “You cannot charm them”, he repeated. 

“I know,” she said, “But I can charm you. I could pull you out and send you out of their reach”.

“Send me flying through the tunnel and make me break my neck, you mean”, he sneered. 

Billie couldn’t help laughing, especially when she looked into his seemingly impassive face in which one eyebrow was now raised in mild mockery. 

“Watch and learn…” he said as he looked back at the plant that was now quietly lying entwined with his arm. Very carefully, the hand from his free arm disappeared into the inside pocket of his cloak and came out holding a small, lidless jar. 

“Do you see this bud, this first one here?” he nodded at a place on the stem, about two inches underneath his entwined arm. “Can you cut it off?”

“I haven’t brought a knife”, she said uncomfortably. 

He sent her an exasperated look. “I do hope you are joking, Miss Matthews”.

A soft blush instantly appeared on her cheeks. “Sorry,” she muttered. 

For a few moments he was staring at her as if he couldn’t believe his ears. Then he took a deep breath and with what looked like a tremendous effort to stay calm said, “If I am not mistaken, you are a witch, Billie, from the House of Ravenclaw even! Witches do not need knives to cut a plant. Send a dissection beam at it!”.

Of course! Feeling a little ashamed at her own stupidity, she immediately did as he told her. The moment her beam hit the plant, the stem snapped in two and the plant angrily lashed out at her. She could only just jump aside, lost her balance and landed rather unsoftly on the cave floor. By the time she had scrambled to her feet again, Snape had disentangled his arm from the broken off parts of the plant, pushed the stem and the leaves into the jar, firmly screwed a lid on it which had come from somewhere unknown and sat calmly watching her clumsy manoeuvring.

“How many NEWTS did you say you received last year?”

She pulled an ugly face at him and this time, there was no mistaking the smile that played on his lips. She quickly looked away.

“Will you give it a try now?” asked Snape, still slightly amused, “You look intrigued”.

She recognised the challenging tone and decided to not let herself be intimidated by what he thought was his authority over her. As confidently as she could muster, she dived her hand into the mass of Devil’s snare and was instantly covered in leaves and stems up to her shoulder. 

“Steady, girl” he warned her, “Do not irritate it. It will kill you if it gets angry”.

But it was too late. Where the stem had stopped twisting itself around Snape’s arm after a couple of seconds already and even before it had reached his upper arm, this one didn’t stop at her shoulder, and also more than one stem shot towards her and wound its way up. In doing so, the plant squeezed her arm so tightly that it immediately started to feel numb.

“Relax,” he said, “keep yourself still”.

“I’m keeping still but it doesn’t stop, look!” she snapped angrily. 

The first leaves had now reached her collarbone and were starting to twist themselves around her neck  and in her hair while she was still trying her best to sit back on her heels and stay calm. 

That made Snape realise there was something wrong. He caught the end of the stem that had already made the tour of her neck once and carefully pushed it back to where it came from. But meanwhile, the other stems kept coming and making their way up her arm. There was no way of stopping them. With one stem now curling around his own fingers of his left arm, he grabbed for his wand and sent a blast of bright sunlight through the cave. 

The Devil’s snare instantly let loose and started to shrink as if it were burnt. Snape immediately stopped the incantation, hoping that only a part of it would be affected, but it was too late. The whole plant had caught sunshine, and was now rapidly dying and drying up. Before their eyes had fully grown accustomed to the sudden semi-darkness again, it had been reduced to a sad, wilted and useless dark-green pile. 

 

Snape cursed under his breath. Billie couldn’t help feeling she was to blame for the sudden disappearance of such a valuable plant and for a moment didn’t very well know what to say, so she kept quiet. 

“I wonder why it attacked you,” he said after a while, “Did you hurt it?”

Billie shook her head. “No. I may have dug into it too rapidly, though”. 

Snape shook his head. “I do not believe so. I have never known them to react so viciously on an inserted arm. Did you scratch it? With your fingernails I mean?”

“How could I? My nails are short”.

His eyes automatically went to her hands and rested on the carefully manicured but indeed shortly-clipped fingernails. 

“I thought all girls your age were wearing brightly-coloured claws?” he remarked, “What happened to yours?”

“I play the violin,” she said, meeting his mocking gaze slightly more confidently, now that her special talent was the subject, “You can’t make an accurate tone with one-inch-nails”. 

For a brief moment, she spotted a glimpse of admiration in the dark eyes, but that was instantly gone again. 

“Are you good at it?” he asked, “Better than at DADA and Herbology, I mean?”

“Yes,” she simply said, “I’ve played since before I could walk, so it would be sad if I couldn’t play my instrument at an exceptable level”. She straightened. “And I’m not bad at Herbology, by the way. I had an O”.

“True. Unlike Defence Against the Dark Arts though”. 

“No wonder!” she snorted, “Umbridge failed all muggle-borns in her excuse for a DADA course! If my violin teachers had been at the same level as most of the DADA teachers I’ve had to endure at Hogwarts, I’d still be scratching Mary Had a Little Lamb!”.

He didn’t comment, but it was clear that he had private thoughts on the subject. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry for the plant,” said Billie, “After all the effort it’s taken you to find it and to bring me here. You had better left me where I was and come here alone”. 

“I do not think so…” he said slowly. “I think your company is quite instructive”. She braced herself for what was probably going to be an insult again, but that was not what he had in mind, “I think this devil’s snare was bewitched. And I think the reason it attacked you and wanted to kill you was simply…” he stopped.

“… because I’m muggle-born?” She saw her own concern reflected in his eyes. “But how did they know I’d be coming? Or any other muggle?”

“I do not believe they did,” said Snape, “It is clearly a breeding place, nothing more. I do not think this cave is hiding anything that the devil’s snare should protect from intruders, because then it would have attacked me too”. 

He looked back at her. “I have told you that these are very dark times, especially for you. I was not joking when I said you have to start practising”. 

“I’ve been doing that,” she said defensively, “And I’m not that rubbish at DADA either after Harry's DA…”

"Ah yes... Potter's secret club...How was he?”

“You mean Harry? Oh, he was an excellent teacher”.

His eyes curiously rested on her now. 

“What have you learnt?”

“All sorts of things to defend ourselves. Shrinking spells; disarming; patronuses…”

“<i>Patronuses?!” </i>He was openly staring at her now, “Did you say you can perform a patronus and that Potter taught you?”

“No, because I didn't stay long enough. But the rest of them can” she said matter-of-factly, “Of course we’ve never been able to practise on real dementors, but most have the spell in their fingers I think”. 

“Good… “ he said and then thought that this probably explained why Potter’s group had survived the events at the Ministry last June. If the boy had even managed to teach them how to conjure a patronus, then he had probably done a great job. 

Not that Snape liked admitting it, though. 

“I think we had better have a look at where this tunnel leads to. It is getting late” he said instead.

It was indeed nearing midnight already. Billie suddenly felt how tired she was. She had been awake for over forty hours already and now that their exit was blocked, she didn’t expect to be in bed very soon.

Snape indicated for her to follow him. They intensified the light of their wands a little and carefully entered the tunnel at the other side of the cave. 

 

They walked in complete silence for a long while. The darkness that surrounded them was so intense that, to Billie, it felt as if they were searching their way through rows and rows of black velvet-curtains. Sometimes, something was startled by the sudden light of their wands and flew up or scurried away into the darkness, but Billie didn’t think they were anything else than bats or rats. 

“Professor?” she suddenly whispered, “Why don’t you tranform and see where this tunnel is leading to? It might be quicker”. 

He shook his head. “I will not leave you alone,” he muttered, “This tunnel is far more complicated than it looks.”. He let his wand shine on a spot ahead of him, “Do you see that? There is another tunnel crossing this one, and you can tell that it immediately splits up in at least two more. We are in a maze”. 

He met her serious look. “Do not worry, we will get you out”, he said for the second time that night, “They are bound to end somewhere in any case. And we can always go back”. 

“How can we do that if we change direction all the time?”

He lightly lay his hands upon her shoulders and turned her around into the direction where they had come from. 

“Look,” he said, pointing his wand at the darkness ahead of them where all of a sudden a small, silvery line became visible. 

“Ariadne’s thread” she smiled, “Clever. Except for the fact that it leads possible pursuers straight to us”.

He looked down at her. “Of course this thread only becomes visible with my wand,” he said “… and yours” he added. “In case we split up”. 

Billie shivered. She didn’t at all like the prospect of being cut off from Snape in an underground maze. As his hand was still resting on her shoulder, he felt her shudder. 

“Are you cold?”

She shook her head.

“You are not really dressed for the occasion” he remarked.

“I had no idea we’d end up in a place like this, of course,” said Billie. “I don’t usually expect to be taken on a picnic when I empty my mailbox”. 

“Except that this is not a picnic and that you were asked to empty your letterbox at a very precise time”. There was this superior mockery tone again, “In the wizarding world, such a request is always known to be an invitation to travelling by portkey… All wizards know that, or so I thought… I clearly had it wrong”. 

“Yes well, I’m not often invited on a trip per Portkey am I” she said irritably, “And I hope to keep it that way. I hate those things”. 

“Yes I could see that”, he smiled and with a reassuring little squeeze, he took his hand off her shoulder. 

They proceeded in silence. The air was becoming quite chilly and all around them they heard the constant dripping of water, probably stalagmites in the making. 

At first, Billie had used her sense of direction and tried to locate where they were heading to – she knew that the castle lay east of the cave’s entrance and that was the direction Snape had chosen too. But now, with all the twisting and turning and forked passages they had been following, she wasn’t so sure anymore. 

Nor was he apparently. All of a sudden, after what had to be an hour or even more, he stopped and peered into the darkness with an uncertain expression on his face. 

“What is it?” she whispered.

“This passage is blocked.” He lifted his wand higher up so that its light shone a longer way ahead of them and Billie saw an enormous rock in the middle of the path. 

“Can’t you remove it?” she asked. 

He shook his head. “Too dangerous. The cave might collapse” and then his eyes fell on her pale face and the dark circles around her eyes. “You are tired,” he remarked, “But we cannot stay here. Shall we go back to the last cave we passed and rest?”

Billie nodded. She had received an uncomfortable knot in the pit of her stomach. Not for the last time that night did she wonder if they weren’t wandering around in their own grave, but she preferred not to say these thoughts aloud.

 

As they followed Snape’s silver line back to where they had come from, she checked her watch. It was close to two am, and with every step she took, she found it harder to keep her eyes open. She could tell how her heart was sleeping already.

Just as they entered the cave Snape had referred to, she stumbled over nothing in particular and only his automatically stretched arm prevented her from landing flat on her face.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“You really are tired” There was concern in his eyes. “You need some sleep”

“I know,” she admitted, “I was up all night yesterday”. 

“Come” he said, and lead the way to a small alcove he had spotted on their right. On the inside was a long piece of rock that could serve as a bench. Snape pointed at one of the stones that were casually lying on the floor and the next moment it lit up, bathing the place in a pleasant light. It looked almost cosy. 

Meanwhile, Snape was waving his wand at the benchlike rock and the wall behind it and then pointed it at a couple of other, round stones. 

“I am not a transfiguration fan,” he muttered, “but it has its advantages”. Then he motioned for Billie to sit down. 

To her surprise she sank into what was now a soft and warm couch. Both the bench she sat on and the wall behind her had been softened by his charms. 

“You can lie down, if you like,” he said, “There is plenty of room. And those are cushions” and he handed her the two stones he had just transfigured.

“Thank you,” she said, “but I don’t think I can sleep just now”

“As you wish,” he shrugged and lowered himself on the bench himself. For a while he just rested his back against the soft wall and closed his eyes. 

“How come you did not sleep last night?” he asked after a while, with his eyes still shut.

“My flat had been burgled”.

The dark lashes shot open. “Pardon?” 

“I don’t know who they were”, she explained, “but they haven’t stolen anything”.

“A raid then,” The face that was now turned towards her was extremely grave. “You have to go in hiding, Billie” he said, “ You cannot stay there”. 

“I know. I’ve terminated the contract. In fact, the whole place is empty already. That’s why I stayed up all night… to pack”

He nodded but he still looked very worried. “And where are you going to? Have you decided already?”

“My parents’ place to start with,” she sighed, “but that’s Oxford, and I’d rather stay in London, to keep myself informed about what’s going on”. 

“Your parents are not safe either, Billie. If you stay with them, you will lead whoever was after you straight to them”.

It was with regret that he saw a small trace of panic appear in her eyes, and before he could stop himself, his hand had come up and his fingers gently touched her face. “They have to leave the country. Very soon. And you too”.

“I’m not going away,” she protested, “If I <i>have</i> to hide, there’ll be plenty of room in Britain”. 

“Not if you are chased by wizards” he said, still touching her cheek, “Promise me you will flee, Billie. I do not want you to be caught”. 

“By whom?” she asked, “I’m not very important, and if I am chased, then loads of other people will be chased as well. There’s plenty of muggles and muggle-born wizards in the country!”

“Exactly”, was all he said. 

Billie stared at him in horror. If it hadn’t been Snape who was telling her this, and if she didn’t know him to be a deadly serious person, who was never in the mood for any jokes, she would have thought he was grossly exaggerating or perhaps even being important. 

Instead, a terrible sadness and tiredness was speaking from his face and when he finally withdrew his hand, she shivered again.

“I think you must try to get some sleep now” He straightened and started to take off his cloak. “And you are cold. I want you to take this”. 

“I can’t accept that!” she protested, “You need it yourself. Besides I’m all right”. 

But Snape ignored her and before she could protest, he had thrown his cloak around her shoulders and was now carefully arranging it around her. Billie couldn’t help thinking that it was an immensely intimite thing for a person like Snape to do. But she had to admit she was glad he did. As soon as he was finished, she started to enjoy the feeling of the soft silk on the inside of the cloak that was still warm from his own body. 

“I will not need it,” he said and then cast her an examining look. “Will you be all right? I will stay with you for a while, but then I would like to look for an exit”. 

She nodded. “I don’t think I will sleep anyway. I’ll constantly listen for sounds of dangerous creatures, like the spiders at the entrance”. 

“You will not have to. I will cast a protective cocoon around you when I leave”. 

“Thank you,” she said, settling herself more comfortably on the improvised couch. “Erm… be careful when you fly away”. 

A look of surprise passed over his face. Apart from Dumbledore, he didn’t often come across many people who told him to be careful… definitely no students.

It warmed him more than the cloak could have done, but being a master at hiding all thoughts and emotions, he rose to his feet and looked down on her in his most impassive way. 

“Go to sleep now, Billie. You will be of little help if you fall over with exhaution. We may have a long way to go still”.

She nodded. 

Then he stepped away from her; cast the protective spells around her, and went to sit in a remote corner where she wouldn’t be disturbed by the light of the enchanted rock. There he sat down without even bothering to soften the rock underneath him and watched her in silence. 

Of course she reminded him of Lily. Ever since they had been working on her NEWT finals together, he had recognised the same flair for potions and a kindness that made her popular with everyone who crossed her path, himself definitely not excluded. He told himself that these similarites were the only reason why he felt in a way attracted to her, but knew he was deceiving himself. Physically, she was a completely different person. True, she didn’t have Lily’s flaming-red hair, the cute little freckles and the curious green eyes that had always fascinated him. But there was no mistaking Billie’s beauty, as he had observed many times before, and her dark-blue eyes had a warmth and a softness in them when they looked at him which Lily’s had missed ever since their last years at school, when she had openly disapproved of his dark sympathies. 

Of course, he wasn’t on the same familiar terms with Billie as he had been with Lily, who he had known ever since they were children and with whom he had been friends. But then again, how could they? Billie had been his student, and even if they had closely worked together and developed a mutual liking and even a certain familiarity in the way they had moved around each other in her last year, his relationship with the students was not of a nature that encouraged any friendships. 

He marvelled again at the trust she seemed to have in him. Here they were, in a cave somewhere underneath the Forbidden Forest, where dangerous creatures were never far off; a muggle-born girl and a Death Eater, and she let him transport her, and guide her, and lock her up with him, and now she was lying wrapped up in his coat with not even her wand in her hand. Noone had ever trusted him that much. Not even Dumbledore.

He found these thoughts rather unsettling. It was time for some action. He got to his feet and transformed.


	8. Part II Chapter 8

8

 

He had been right. The tunnels weren’t endless. Four passages he followed for several miles were a dead end, but the last one at long last opened up into a cave again and the fresh smell of early morning met his hypersensitive bat nostrils.

From there, the exit couldn’t be much further than another mile away. 

With that excellent prospect, he thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a nap himself, and so he flew back to where Billie was sleeping. 

Only… she wasn’t sleeping anymore.

In fact, the bench was empty, apart from his cloak that was casually left behind.

Snape instantly transformed again and just as he was taking out his wand to light it, he heard a surpressed scream at the other side of the cave, where another tunnel was starting. As he rushed towards it, his ears caught the strange sound of a singing voice. 

Her voice. 

She was chanting hymns… 

Merlin, there had to be a redcap in there!

He dashed into the dark tunnel but stopped as soon as the light of his wand fell on her. 

She was standing with her back against the wall, urgently chanting at a redcap that was looking up at her with a vicious grin on its face. Then, before Snape could stop it, the redcap jumped up and sank its fangs deep into her jacket, through her shirt and straight into the flesh just underneath her collarbone. She screamed with pain.

With one leap, Snape was on her. He sent the redcap flying through the cave with the sound of a hymn chasing it. And then, he did something which Billie would always remember as the strangest and most improbable thing she had ever expected him to do: he tugged at her shirt, and when the buttons didn’t immediately gave way, tore it open, pushed it off her shoulder, together with the jacket, and plunged his head into her chest. Before she had the time to be shocked, she felt his lips at the place where the redcap’s bite was still burning like mad and for a second or two they stayed there. The next instant, he spat on the floor. Only then did she understand that he was sucking the poison out of her wound. 

It was a highly erotic way of saving someone’s life. She was probably mad to be making such thoughts on a moment like this, but she couldn’t help herself. Every time she felt the touch of his lips just above her breast, the pain was wearing off a little more and she became increasingly aware of a funny sensation somewhere deep inside her belly and of a weakness in her limbs.When he lowered his head towards her chest a fourth time, she could only just stop herself from digging her fingers into his hair and keeping him there altogether.

But as it was, a little self-control was still in place, even if it required palms practically bleeding from the nails she was pressing into them, and after a couple of seconds he stepped away from her and spat out the last of the poison. Then he conjured a glass of water out of thin air and started to rinse his mouth, as if he had just been brushing his teeth. 

Their eyes met and Billie felt her cheeks burn. 

“Forgive me. I hope I was not frightening you,” he said in a slightly politer tone than usual. The atmosphere had become awkward, just like it was when you decided to be on speaking terms with someone again on the day after you had just had a blazing row.

“I did not have the time to make an antidote… I do not even have the herbs with me as it so happens, so this was the only way”, he explained. 

Then his eyes fell on the torn shirt that was covering very little of her naked shoulders and chest. 

“Allow me,” he said as he took off her jacket and what remained of the shirt, and with a tap of his wand restored them into their original state. Then he galantly, but with slightly trembling fingers, helped her into them again. 

“Thank you,” she said, carefully avoiding his glance as he was buttoning up her shirt. “It’s the second time you’ve saved my life tonight”. 

“Do not mention it”, he said, equally looking away, “We had better go. Why did you come here in the first place?”. 

“I had to… you know… <i>go somewhere</i>” At least his slightly raised eyebrows were familiar again “And well… to be honest… I still haven’t been yet…”

That didn’t at all help to remove the awkward tension between them. 

“Oh… “ he said, “I see. Should I…?”

“No, I’ll manage,” she hastened to assure him, “I’m sure the redcap is scared to death now. He won’t come back very soon”.

“Very well then,” he said, “I will not be far away. Just shout if anything happens”. 

 

He wasn’t out of the place too early. As soon as he had left the tunnel and come back into their cave, he flung himself against the wall and for a few moments stood trying hard to regain at least a part of his composure. The mere feeling of that soft skin just above her breast, and even more so the sight of her naked chest with the burgundy-red bra and the torn shirt over it was an immense test for the self-control of a person who hadn’t been in a similar situation for a tremendously long period of time. His rather rough intervention had been purely medical, of course, or at least the first couple of times. He shouldn’t have done it again a fourth time, when he knew for sure all the poison had already been gone, but he hadn’t been able to resist the temptation. 

And he mustn’t try to picture what she was doing now.

He had to get a grip on himself. He was experiencing the heaviest feelings he had felt in a long long time but he couldn’t possibly afford to have them. There were limits to his Occlumency skills. 

And she wasn’t to know either. Ever.

And then he knew what he had to do. He simply had to rely on the one thing that had always saved him in the most precarious situations he had ever faced: sarcasm.  

 

So when Billie came back into the cave, still rather embarrassed at what had happened and even more so at the effect it had had on her, Snape was his usual self again, the familiar sneer included.

“I trust you have not met any more redcaps or other dark creatures you were so anxious to meet?”

She immediately cooled down. “It’s all very well for you to say this, Professor”, she replied curtly, “when you are an animagus yourself who can deal with such little problems as a visit to the toilet in a fraction of a second and in the greatest discretion”.  

A musle twisted somewhere around his mouth, and for a moment she thought he was going to snap something back at her. Instead, he said as dryly as anyone could ever do, “Except if your animagus is a cow”. 

Nettled as she was, and even with a heart still racing like mad and legs that felt like jelly, Billie couldn’t help laughing. And the amazing thing was that, for the very first time in a long time, he chuckled with her. 

 

From then on, there was an easy-going comradship between them, especially when, after she had finally stopped laughing, he added “And after the intimacies we have shared, I think it would be more approporiate for you to call me Severus, Miss Matthews”. 

It was a wonderful moment. 

Since neither of them still felt a need to rest, they decided to follow the tunnel Snape had found, and which would take them to fresh air at last. 

As she was walking into his footsteps, however, and freedom was coming closer, Billie wasn’t quite sure she wanted to leave this place and his company anymore. She could tell she had changed. She had the feeling she was floating a couple of inches above the ground to start with. Her whole body felt so strange, with the wobbly legs, the persistent funny sensation around her stomach and her tingling skin, especially at the spot where his lips had been. She felt… <i>elevated </i>was probably the best word to describe it. And with that, a strange feeling of self-confidence was settling down on her.

She wondered how he felt about what had happened. There had clearly been discomfort in his polite manner afterwards, which proved that the event hadn't left him indifferent either. But then again, sucking poison at an inch from a former student’s breast would probably make any professor uncomfortable. 

And then the itching increased again when she asked herself why he had buttoned up her shirt manually, when it could have been done with a flick of the wand…

 

It took about two hours for them to finally see daylight shimmer into the tunnel ahead of them. 

They had made it. 

At only a couple of paces, freedom was waiting for them. But before they reached the exit and could emerge from the tunnel, Snape suddenly stopped.

Billie cast him a sideways glance, which he met with a curious look on his face. 

“Before we go out, I would like to have a word with you, Billie”, he said.“I am not sure if we can leave this place the same way as we have come here”. His black eyes held her questioning glance, “In daylight, it may be far too dangerous to be seen together, and besides, I have no idea where we will come out and what will happen to us then”. 

Billie looked down. She wasn’t sure she liked the sound of this. And she suddenly knew for sure that she didn’t want to leave his company.

Snape took some time to carefully read her body language. He didn’t very well know what to think of it. “You have to promise me something”, he suddenly said. 

Her head came up at the seriousness of his tone and the curiousness of what he was saying.

“Please go in hiding,” he said quietly. “I know you have little idea of what is awaiting you, but you have to trust me in this. Go away”. 

“But…”

He cupped her cheek in his hand, “Send your parents away and go with them. Abroad. It is nowhere safe for you in Britain”. 

Billie was staring at him, speechless. She had never heard him sound so different; so… caring. There was not the slightest trace of sarcasm in his tone anymore. She swallowed with difficulty.

“And promise you will not look for me anymore,” he continued. “We must not meet… ever”. 

“Not ever?!” she whispered incredulously, but as she opened her mouth to protest, she was cut short by the finger he put on her lips.

“Listen to me, Billie... I am sure that, very shortly, you will not have any desire to see me anymore… ”.

“You’re mad!” she uttered, angrily pushing his hand away, “Of course I will want to see you. I’ll look out for you”. 

“No!” he snapped, “You will do no such thing!” and then he grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her deep into the eyes, “Promise me! Promise me you will never come looking for me. You will have us both killed!”.

“Then I will have to find a safe way of doing so,’ she said in such a determined way that she surprised herself; “You told me I should start practising charms and stuff. Well, that will give me something to practise for”. 

“You will be far too preoccupied with staying alive and staying out of the Death Eater’s claws to work on that, Billie”, he said; “Or you should be”.

For a few moments they stood staring at each other and when she noticed how his anger was gradually being replaced by intense sadness, Billie felt her anger melt away. 

Finally, it was she who broke the silence. 

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered. “I’m scared for you…”

And then he opened his arms and took her in a very tight hug. 

It was immensely comforting to feel the strength of his arms and the warmth of his body and smell the now familiar scent of his cloak again. But she also seemed to have an effect on him. She felt how he hid his face into her hair and how the grip of his arms became even tighter than it had been at first. She had the feeling every inch of her body was squeezed against his, and it felt very very good.

For a long time, they stood like this, each absorbed in their own thoughts and seeking comfort in each other’s closeness. 

But then Snape’s ratio took the better of him. If he didn’t let go of her at once, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going further than this and becoming completely enchanted by her. And that would kill him the moment he stood face to face with Voldemort again. 

So with an immense effort, he took his arms away from her and stepped back.

“We have to go now,” he muttered, “Dawn is breaking”.

There was still sadness in his eyes, and something warm too, but when she tried to move closer to him again, he put out a trembling hand to stop her. 

“I mean it, we have to go, Billie” His tone was urgent now, “It is close to six o’clock. In two hours, I have to be back in my class again or my absence will raise suspicion”.

“Why are you running away from me, Severus?” she asked, “I trust you, and I like you.Why can’t we be in touch anymore? I can be as discrete as anything”. 

He cast his eyes down. “You do not understand,” he said softly, “But you soon will… unfortunately” and then he abruptly turned away from her and lead the way towards the exit, leaving her puzzled and sad. 

 

As they came within a few feet from the exit, the sound of running water and human voices caught their ears. They instantly pushed themselves against the rocks that framed the exit and from where they had a lookout. 

“There’s people down there,” Billie whispered, “And cars. We’re in a muggle place”.

“Well at least that is better than spiders,” he said with a weak smile. He moved a little closer to her to have a better view.

They seemed to find themselves at the edge of a small square which was bordered by a road on one side, and a river on the other. The square was dotted with canvasses under which people stood unloading fruits and other goods.

“We’re at a market’, she whispered, “How funny. Where could it be?”

Snape took a little while to think before he replied. It clearly wasn’t Hogsmeade, but they could not be that far from the Forbidden Forest and the castle park either. It had to be the little muggle village on the other side of the hill on which Hogwarts stood. What was its name… Nimberton?

But he didn’t tell her that. Instead he shrugged. 

“I do not know”.

Then he looked back at her. “Listen, Billie, you know that we cannot apparate, and flying a broomstick here is out of the question too”. 

She nodded. 

“Why don’t you buy yourself an apple or something at one of the stalls, and meanwhile ask if there is any public transport leaving from here. It would probably be the safest way for you to go”. 

“That’s a funny question to ask at seven a.m. at a market stall!” she protested, “They’ll think I’m mad! I may as well scare them to death by suddenly appearing out of nowhere in this state”. 

His eyes automatically travelled over her muggle outfit. “There is nothing wrong with the way you look,” he said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “You look quite sweet. Your bun is coming loose but I was under the impression that girls liked that nowadays”.

There was again that fluttering feeling everywhere in and around her belly. She should close her eyes to hide them from his peering gaze, but she didn’t feel like doing that anymore. 

His face hardened. 

“Go now. It is the only way”.

He sounded quite urgent now. But the prospect… that horrible prospect of not seeing him anymore…

“I’ll tell you what I’ll do,” she whispered, “I’ll check what train or bus leaves from here, and then I’ll come back to say goodbye”.

He suddenly looked relieved. “Good idea,” he said, “And bring me one of those apples too. I am starving”. 

She smiled broadly. However naive it may be, the fact that their parting was delayed a little longer suddenly gave her courage again. 

“I won’t be long,’ she promised him and just before she stepped out into the market she sent him a radiant smile. 

 

All would be well. She didn’t know where that thought came from but she felt it was the truth. 

“It’s because I love him”, she suddenly realised. She instantly stopped and looked back at the cave that was now completely covered in semi-darkness. 

It was true. She loved him, very deeply, and it didn’t come as a big shock. Ever since he had singled her out to study specialised potions with him and especially when they had been preparing for her NEWTS, she had grown increasingly fond of him. 

She supposed he was still watching her, so she slowly turned away from the cave again and walked to the first stall. Maybe she should tell him. Maybe that would take the sadness away from his eyes. She stood pondering on this, when the lady at the stall addressed her. 

“O, erm… could I have two apples, please?” she asked.

The lady at the stall frowned. “Two pounds of apples?”

“No no,” Billie hastened to say, “Just two apples. I erm… I have to catch a bus”. 

“You’ll have to wait until ten to catch a bus, you know,” said the lady,” the previous one has only just left”. 

“That’s all right, I’ll manage,” said Billie as she quickly pushed the coins into the woman’s hand, “I’m not in a hurry”. 

And with that she wished her a good day. Then she walked to where the lady had told her the bus stop was, checked the timetable and saw that she had been right. There were still four hours to kill before the next one came. 

She hurried back to where Snape was waiting, and already the thought of seeing him again made her step a lot lighter. It was amazing how she had not realised earlier that she had fallen in love with him. She now had the feeling it had happened a long time ago already.

 

She made sure noone saw her slip into the cave again. A night with Severus had made her a lot more cautious than she used to be. 

With a heart pounding in anticipation she entered the cave, but her smile froze when she found it empty. 

She stood for a moment just looking around. 

Surely he had to be near, probably searching the tunnel. Perhaps a redcap had returned.

She lit her wand and wanted to enter the passageway at the end of the cave, when her eyes fell on a jar that was standing on a piece of rock just in the middle. 

She looked a little closer and then recognised it: it was the jar that contained the devil’s snare and next to it… next to it was the diminuted broomstick on which they had travelled to this place. 

And then she understood. 

He had left her. He had probably wanted to avoid a painful goodbye and had just sent her away under the pretext that he wanted her to check on public transport, so that he, himself, could leave unnoticed. 

She sank down on a piece of rock that was protruding from the wall. She thought about his words, especially his insistance that she should stay away from him and never ever see him again, and before she knew it, tears had come into her eyes and she was crying like she had seldom cried before. 

In a remote little, dark corner of the cave, a bat was watching the scene in silence. He was glad that a bat’s emotional range was much smaller than a human’s. Her grief was heartbreaking. And he knew perfectly where it came from. He had seen it in her eyes. 

Poor girl. And Merlin, he could do with a little love from a beautiful young woman, but it wasn’t to be. He had a duty to perform and a monster to meet that was so skilled at Legilimency that he had to ban all emotional involvement from his life.

He hated his role. He had often hated it before but this time, he regretted it as he had never done before. He hated Voldemort and what he was bringing on these days; he hated being hated by everyone except for the one person he was expected to kill and the other one he was forbidden to love. He hated Potter and he… yes he still loved Lily, but where did that take him … and Billie?

These thoughts were far too complicated for a bat. He had to leave now. There was nothing he could do for her anymore. He trusted she would take a bus, or perhaps the broomstick he wouldn’t be needing anymore, and prepared himself to leave. He cast a long, a very long last glance at the weeping girl below and flew off. 

And knew that he would never see her again.


	9. Part II Chapter 9

9

 

Two days later Billie entered the Weasley’s shop in Diagon Alley, and found the place in great agitation. Half of the Weasley family, including Bill and Ginny, were grouped together around Fred and George’s director’s desk and having a serious, and highly animated conversation. 

When they saw her enter, however, they instantly fell silent.

As Billie approached the desk, all twelve eyes were following her, and she had a vague feeling that she should find this peculiar. But then again, the news was horrible. Anyone reacted in a peculiar way these days. 

“So you’ve heard,” Molly said with a sympathetic look on her face.

“Yes, of course, “said Billie softly, “Poor man. And poor us… “ she looked around for the so familiar eyes of her ex-boyfriend and was struck by the seriousness that was reflected in them, and which she had never seen in them before.

“Is it true that Dumbledore was the only person who could stand up against You-Know-Who?” she asked, “Then what are we to do now?”

“I don’t know,” said Arthur, “Our hope lies with the Order but now that the most powerful member has died, <i>and</i> is killed by the second-best, we’re really handicapped”.

It took a while before Billie grasped the full meaning of what he was saying. 

“<i>Killed?</i>” she asked, “Was he killed by a member of your group?” 

“You mean you haven’t heard?” asked Fred, and then a very uncomfortable silence fell, during which six pairs of eyes were exchanging glances but noone said anything. 

A terrible feeling of dread descended over Billie. There was something horrible coming up, she knew it… something that she didn’t want to hear… something that would change her life forever.

“Snape killed him”, Ginny blurted out. 

There are no words to describe what went through Billie at that instant. It was the utmost horror one could imagine. She went deadly white; dumb; started to shake so badly that Arthur had to grab her arm to support her.

“That’s impossible,” she whispered, “It wasn’t Severus”. 

“What do you mean it wasn’t Snape?” asked Ginny, rather irritably, “Harry was there. He saw him. Dumbledore called for Snape and then Snape killed him”. 

Billie brought a trembling hand to her eyes. “It can’t have been Snape. Severus would never… would never…” and then she fell silent. 

“We’re all shocked, dear,” Molly said after a while, “We all put our trust in Severus. He was part of all our plans and activities and sometimes we wondered if that was a good idea, but as soon as anyone made an objection, Dumbledore stopped them. Albus had a tremendous trust in Snape. And now he …”

Her eyes were filling with tears and another painful silence fell.“I have to go there,” Billie suddenly said. She met the pitiful glances of the people standing around her and straightened her shoulders, as if she wanted to physically stress her point. “I have to go to Hogwarts. I’m sure he’s there”. 

“Billie, he fled,” said George, “He killed Dumbledore and he ran off together with Draco Malfoy. He’s with You-Know-Who now”. 

“That’s ridiculous! He can’t have!”

“Billie, he has” said Fred, “Come on, face it. You can’t be that naive! Snape was, and still is, and will always be a Death Eater. I don’t know what Dumbledore saw in him, but apparently he got it wrong. He’s as evil as he has always pretended to be. I don’t understand how you can…”

“We were all deceived, Fred,” Molly interjected, “We thought he gave us valuable information, but that was probably just part of his spying role. You give some, you get more”. 

Billie shook her head, hardly registering what Molly was saying, “He can’t have”, she repeated stubbornly, “He wouldn’t. He has only just warned me against the Death Eaters and told me to hide”. 

“He was fooling you,” said Bill, “He probably had a good reason for doing so. Something he wanted to obtain from you”. 

Again Billie shook her head fervently. “I’m nobody!” she said, “I don’t have any specific magical skills; no connections; I’m muggle-born for Merlin’s sake! What would he possibly want to obtain from <i>me</i>?”. 

Various doubtful glances passed between the people present. Noone seemed to be able to think of a good reason why Billie should be important to Snape. 

“I’m brilliant at nothing,” she continued, “except perhaps that I’m a little better at Potions, but that surely is no added value to a genius like Severus!”

“Yes, well, I suppose we’ll never know what has been going on inside his head,” said Arthur, “But the fact remains that he killed Dumbledore and by that, left the path wide open for Voldemort to step in”. 

“He can’t have…” Billie kept saying, more to herself now than to the others now, “It can’t have been him…” she looked up again, “He must have been imperiused!”. 

Bill gave a short, humourless laugh, “Imperiused? You can’t imperius a wizard of Snape’s calibre. He’d hex you before you could lift your wandi”.

“No, Bill’s right, dear,” said Molly, “He’s a far too experienced wizard to be caught by a simple curse. He used to have a dark past”. 

“A past that never really <i>was</i> a past,” said George, “He is still the sneaky little git he used to be. He’s never changed”. 

“I’m off,” said Billie, who could bear it no longer, “I have to go”. 

“Where are you going, Billie?” asked Molly anxiously, “It’s not safe on the street now”. 

“Nowhere’s safe,” she replied curtly, “And I’m going to Hogwarts. I’m going to prove that you all got it terribly wrong. Severus is innocent”. 

“You’re mad!” Fred jumped off the desk he had been sitting on and came to stand in front of her, “You’re not going anywhere. Haven’t you been listening? He’s with You-Know-Who. He’s gone from Hogwarts!”. 

“That must have been an imposter,” she said trying to find an opening between Fred’s body and the door through which she could escape , “It’s easy for anyone to take his shape. There’s plenty of people who know how to brew a Polyjuice Potion, especially amongst Death Eaters”. 

Fred cast an exasperating look at his parents. “Can’t you stop her?”. 

Arthur stepped forward and calmly lay his hand on her shoulder. “That is, of course, a possibility,” he said soothingly, “The Polyjuice Potion has caused disasters before, as we all know”. And then he straightened and for a moment seemed to think about the best wording he should use to get his point across. “But Harry was very firm in his belief that the real Severus was involved. They had a fight and words were spoken, or rather shouted, which could never have come from anyone else”. 

“Harry hates him,” Billie said bitterly. 

“Exactly. And Snape hates Harry and apparently, their conversation was of a nature that only two people who hate each other so deeply as they do could have had. Things were said there. I don’t know what exactly, but believe me, Billie,” and with that, he lay both his hands on her shoulders, “Snape was not imperiused. Nor was his body possessed by someone else. He was himself”. 

A deep silence fell after that. Billie was dumbfounded. She had no idea what to think anymore. Of course she still knew that there had to be an explanation for what had happened. Only… she couldn’t possibly think of anything that would clear Snape’s name anymore. 

And then all of a sudden, a fragment of the last conversation they had had that night flashed through her mind. 

<i>“I am sure that, very shortly,  you will have no desire to see me anymore… ”.  </i>

It had seemed a strange remark then, but what if… what if he had known what would happen and had spoken these words with Dumbledore’s murder in mind?

“We would like to invite you to our place, Billie,” came Molly’s soft voice, “You’d better come with us”. 

She shook her head. “Thank you, Molly, but I’d like to be alone for a while”. 

“And start chasing him again? No way!” said Fred, “You’ll come with us”.

“Noone will run in your way, dear,” said Molly, “You’ll have plenty of time to think it all over and come to terms with things”. 

Billie stood looking from one face to another; trying to decide what would be the best thing to do, but the poor girl’s thoughts were still paralysed by the heavy emotions the news had caused with her.

“Are you sure he has left the castle?” she asked Athur, “Wasn’t Harry blinded with grief or anger and could he have been mistaken as a result of that?”. 

“It wasn’t just Harry. Hagrid was there too and he was quite convinced. Snape called himself a Halfblood Prince or something, and Harry seemed to know exactly what that meant”. 

“It was written in his book,” said Ginny suddenly, “Harry’s Potions Book originally belonged to the Halfblood Prince but Harry had no idea who that person was”. 

“Well it was Snape,” said Arthur, “And then Harry called him a coward and according to Hagrid, it was a miracle that Snape didn’t kill him then. He was livid”. 

“Yeah funny, isn’t it,” said George, “He killed Dumbledore but he didn’t touch the person You-Know-Who’s most after”.

“Probably because Voldemort wants to kill Harry himself,” said Ginny. 

“Poor boy,” said Molly, “Without the support of people like Dumbledore and Sirius he doesn’t stand the smallest chance against You-Know-Who”. 

“O, I wouldn’t say that,” said Fred, “He’s fought him before, old Voldie”. 

“Don’t use that name,” snapped Molly, “Anyway, Billie, I’d really like you to come with us”

“I can’t” she said, “I have to send my parents away.  Severus told me to urgently do so, and now that Dumbledore’s dead, I’d better follow his advice”. 

“Did he really warn you like that?” asked Fred incredulously, “Well, of course he knew what was going to happen, the filthy hypocrit!”. 

It hadn’t been hypocrisy. The sadness with which Snape had warned her had said everything about the sincerity of his intentions. A Death Eater true and true, who had rubbed shoulders with the Order of the Phoenix for years and then killed his protector in cold blood, but who had still taken the effort not once, but four times, to warn a simple muggle girl against the dangers she would soon be facing and who had made her promise to flee the country together with her parents at once. 

How was it possible that noone saw the paradox in this?

One day, she promised herself, and she sincerely hoped that day would come soon, she would prove how wrong they had been and why. 

But first, she had to take care of her parents. 

It took a lot of effort to convince her friends in the shop that she would go straight to Oxford and not make a detour via Hogwarts, or even worse, go in search of Voldemort and Snape, … as if the latter were an option! If she hadn’t been numb with shock, she would have been insulted at their low esteem of her intellectual capacities. 

Finally Molly and Arthur gave in, on the condition that she would come and see them immediately after her parents had left. 

 

So at long last, and with a certain relief, Billie closed the shop door behind her and started to walk. 

It was nearly midday in Diagon Alley and the few people who still came for shopping these days were hurrying rather than strolling, and avoiding all eye-contact with passers-by. Everyone was scared these days. Here and there, she spotted two or three people having a serious conversation, no doubt about Dumbledore’s murder, and not for the last time, this thought caused a painful stab in her stomach. 

When she entered the muggle street just outside the Leaky Cauldron, she hesitated for a second. Should she take the Underground to King’s Cross Station and then hop on the first train to Oxford? Or apparate. 

She chose the latter. There could hardly be anything wrong with going home, after all.

 

Her parents didn’t need much convincing. Billie had feared for her mother, who never read a paper and was far too preoccupied with her cello career to bother about missing or killed persons and collapsing bridges. But as it was, she looked at the whole process of packing and boarding up the house as an exciting adventure, especially because her daughter was acting so urgently and so mysteriously. 

Billie’s father, however, understood exactly what the impact of Dumbledore’s death was. And since he kept track of all the strange events that were daily reported in the muggle papers as well as the Daily Prophet, he had already been prepared for the worst and had started to make arrangements for their move. 

Fortunately, her parents possessed a small house in the south of France, which made emigrating a not too laborious task. With its two hundred-acre garden in the middle of nowhere, they would be safely hidden from spies or any other passers-by with bad intentions, if ever Voldemort started to gather followers in France. 

 

When their car was stuffed like a plush toy, with her father at a closer distance to his steering wheel than was comfortable and her mum squeezed between the dashboard and a very straight-back car seat, they left, and Billie couldn’t help letting out a sigh of relief when they disappeared from view. 

As she turned back towards her home, she wondered If she shouldn’t take the risk of hiding here and work on her skills in secret. But then she thought about the Weasley family and concluded that she didn’t feel much like spending these sad days in solitude, far away from friends and the news they had to tell. A couple of days at The Burrow might help her see how and where she should spend the following weeks or months, if the family didn’t mind her presence and if shewouldn't get them in bigger danger than they already were. In addition, even if she didn’t expect many positive events to happen, she wanted to hear all about Severus and whatever news there was on him that could explain why everyone thought he had killed Dumbledore. 

 

Despite the warm and welcoming atmosphere the whole Burrow and especially Molly breathed, Billie spent a couple of very depressing first days. Of course, Snape was never out of her mind, but on top of that, it hurt her terrribly to see how Molly kept a constant, anxious eye on the kitchen clock that mostly commuted between “work” and “mortal peril”. She felt sorry for her and the whole family. People with such big hearts should never be fighting a psychopatic monster like Voldemort. 

Apart from Billie, Ginny and Ron were at home, but the former was very uncommunicative because she was struggling with a broken heart herself, and Ron spent most of his time locked up in his room sending owls to Hermione. But since Billie wasn’t in a very entertaining mood herself, she wasn’t too unhappy about sitting alone half of the time, which gave her the chance to obsessively try to find answers to all the questions she was struggling with. 

The other part of the time she spent in the kitchen, helping Molly to run the household, especially now that it was so busy in the house with Bill’s wedding coming up. The two women spent a lot of time chatting, or rather sharing thoughts and feelings about everything that was going on. The conversation was never light, though. Very often, there was also someone else popping in for a visit. Billie met the various members of the Order, or, in the case of Remus Lupin, met them again, and was immediately fascinated by them all. But she discreetly went to sit in another room as soon as the conversation moved away from ordinary chitchat to their plans and subversive activities. 

 

About Snape she remained quiet. The family had worries enough as such and since they had never known Severus to be anything else than cold and cynical, there was no sensible way to make them understand the impossibility of the horrible deed he was accused of. His name did occasionally pop up in conversations with the members of the Order, or with the rest of the family, but there was never any news. Noone knew where he was exactly, nor what Voldemort was up to. But there was no doubt that things were rapidly evolving for the worse. Everyday, Arthur reported on new decisions taken by the Ministry that made the life of muggle-borns more difficult, and also inside the Ministry, complete departments were being reshuffled, which hardly ever made it more agreeable for the people working in them. One could sense that a time bomb was ticking away, and every day could be the moment when it went off and the whole wizarding world as it had been in the last sixteen years was ruined. 

 

On her third day at the Burrow, Fred and George came to stay for the weekend, and their arrival immediately brought some relief in the anxious atmosphere that had been hanging over the house all week. 

After dinner, the whole family with Bill, Fleur, Remus and Tongs included, were gathered in the sitting room and very soon, the conversations continued in smaller groups. Billie and Fred were sitting a little apart, discussing the latest events in the shop and Diagon Alley in general. 

“Did you know that Flourish & Blott’s has been robbed?” asked Fred, “Noone knows what they took with them, but rumour has it that they were after some dark stuff they kept at the top floor of the store”. 

“I’ve never been to the top floor,” said Billie, “Have you?”

“Tried a couple of times but it was protected. Some spell threw you down the stairs before you knew it”. 

“And what about your shop? Have you had any unwelcome visitors?”

“Loads,” laughed Fred, “But no Death Eaters. Or at least no official ones. A few dodgy visitors showed a great interest in what we keep behind the counter, in the restricted section, but we never let any strangers anywhere near that, of course. Only you and a couple of friends and family have ever been insideit”. 

“You have to be careful”, said Billie, “Anyone could be in disguise”. 

“I know,  but we have our own special security system. I won’t tell you what happens or I’d spoil the fun, but I can assure you that anyone pretending to be anyone else than they are, has quite some trouble sitting after they have been in touch with it”. 

Billie laughed. 

“Anyway,” Fred continued and all fun suddenly disappeared from his face, “We may have to close soon. If the Ministry falls or the Death Eaters become even more powerful than they already were, I don’t think we’ll run the risk of being robbed and seeing our valuable gadgets disappear into the wrong hands”.

“I don’t think many Death Eaters would walk the streets with a Pigmy Puff stuck on their shoulders though,” said Billie dryly. 

“No, but our instant darkness powder, confusing concoctions and all the joke toffees we sell can come in very handy, even for a Death Eater”. 

And then he hesitated. 

“Have you… you know, heard anything about Snape? Any of the Order members seen him somewhere?”

Billie shook her head. “No, and I still don’t know what to think of it, except that I should urgently start looking for answers myself”. 

“Why are you so stubborn about Snape?” said Fred, and there was a slight irritation in his voice, “I’ve never known you to be so fond of him, except perhaps for last year. I wonder what you’ve been up to with him, every time you met him in secret under Umbridge’s  nose”. 

“Nothing’s happened,” Billie replied rather piqued, “He helped me, that’s all. I expect he was glad someone finally took a more than average interest in his subject”. 

“Yes, well, and the pleasure was mutual, it seems. You dumped me then”. 

“I didn’t dump you because of Snape,” Billie sighed, “We’ve been there before, haven’t we. You were preparing your escape, and developing items for the shop and were far too busy turning it into the wonderful place it has become…”

“… don’t flatter me, Matthews” Fred warned her, half earnestly

“… and I myself was preoccupied with my NEWTS…” she stopped herself and looked down on her folded hands, “… and I admit it was rather impressive to work with a normally-behaving Snape”. 

“And he deceived you”. 

“No” she said emphatically, “He didn’t. And he wasn’t <i>being</i> friendly. He simply <i>was</i> kind and helpful”. 

“Are you sure it wasn’t a substitute Snape? Can’t have been the real one if you ask me”. 

“You’re hopeless, Fred, and I won’t say anything on that subject anymore. Get lost”. 

“Oooooo” came George’s voice from her other side, “Having a row like old lovers do, have we”. 

“Shut it, George.” said Fred,”and anyway, what do <i>you</i> think Billie sees in Snape?”. 

“Dunno. Not his looks in any case. Unless the shock of wavy hair perhaps?”

“The elegant nose? The bright yellow teeth?”

“Or his cheerful disposition? The charming little rascal he is?”

“I’ve had enough of you two,” said Billie not too seriously. The twin’s joking made the hard reality a little more digestible and she couldn’t hide a smile. “You have no idea”. 

“You haven’t been up to anything naughty…?”

“NO!” and now she really had enough. She leapt to her feet and walked over to the other side of the room where she was welcomed by Fleur, who had been looking for someone to discuss her wedding dress with all evening. 

 

The next morning, another visitor was sitting at the breakfast table, the flamboyant and ever-rude great-aunt Muriel, who to anyone’s surprise had always been unusually mild towards Billie.

“Well, look who’s here!” she shouted over the loud clattering of knifes and plates that came flying towards the breakfast table, “And about time, too! Where have you been hiding, girl? Too preoccupied with George were you?”

“I was seeing Fred, actually”, Billie corrected her as she kissed the leathery cheek, “And we broke up last year”. 

“You did, did you? Well, good riddance; I wouldn’t want to be seriously involved with that lot. They’re up to no good. Never were”.

“They happen to run an excellent business and make tonnes of money, Muriel,” snapped Molly, who looked slightly more nervous than usual. 

“Humpf… so that makes a change then!”.

Molly looked as if she would launch the sausage pan in Muriel’s direction, but managed only just to keep herself in check and vigorously started to stir the porridge instead, making it slop all over the place.

“And what are you doing here?” continued Muriel, carefully examining Billie with her clever, red-rimmed eyes, “You look as if you could do with a holiday. Is that why you’re here? Not much of a holiday resort I should say”. 

“I’m not staying long,” the girl hastened to say, “Molly invited me and I’ve had a  brilliant time, but now it’s time to move on”. 

Despite her intention of not taking part in the conversation anymore, Molly immediately looked up. “You surely aren’t going to leave us, are you?” she frowned, “You’ve nowhere to go”. 

“What do you mean she’s got nowhere to go? Are you in trouble of any sort?” Muriel was eyeing Billie with undisguised suspicion now.

“No, not at all. Apart from being muggle-born in an increasingly intolerant wizarding world”, she replied dryly, “But the Weasleys have given me the chance to think a few things over and I think I know what to do now”. 

“And what would that be? Not chasing Snape I hope”. Molly had abandoned her cooking altogether and was now standing in front of Billie with crossed arms. 

“Snape? Is that Eileen Prince’s son?” Muriel asked in wonder, “What do you want with him? Killed Dumbledore, didn’t he?”

“So it seems, but I would like to see proof of that,” Billie sounded quite firm, “And I would like to look for that proof myself”. 

“You’re mad!” shouted Molly. “He’s with You-know-who!”

“And what good would come out of that?” asked Muriel, ignoring her niece’s shrieking.

“Because I know he’s innocent” Billie said calmly. “And I’ll prove it. And while I’m at it, I might as well make myself useful for the good cause, in one way or the other. But I’m not ready for it yet,” 

“I should very well think so,” snorted Molly, “You’ve no idea who or what you’ll be dealing with”. 

“I know, and that’s why I will seek professional advice. I must work on my transfiguration skills and therefore, I’d like to pay a visit to Professor McGonnagle and ask for help”. 

“What do you need transfiguration for?” asked Auntie Muriel, “Are you going to save the world by turning trolls into tea cups?”

Billie bit her lip. Now she was forced to share the most fantastic bit of her plan. And the two women weren’t the most obvious persons to discuss that with.

“I was hoping she could teach me how to become an animagus”. 

The kitchen was instantly covered in deep silence. 

Billie wasn’t quite sure where to look with the two pairs of deeply shocked eyes resting on her, so she chose the kitchen clock on the chimney to focus on.

“You’re mad,” Molly finally uttered, “Billie, you can’t just become an animagus like that! It’s impossible. Most wizards don’t have the magical power to become one. You have to…”

“Wait, Molly” Muriel interrupted her, her eyes still curiously fixed on Billie, “What makes you think you could be one? Surely the idea must come from somewhere?”

“It’s a feeling,” explained Billie; “I can’t explain what it is, but I’ve had the feeling for a long time already. The moment I learnt how to apparate, I sometimes felt … dunno… funny… as if my body was changing”. 

“Naturally,” snorted Molly, “You were splinching, no doubt”.

Billie shook her head. 

“Suppose you managed to become an animagus,” asked Muriel, “How would that help you in that Snape story?”

“If I turned into the animal that I think I would turn into, then I could simply fly anywhere and listen in on conversations for example”. 

“So you think you’d be a bird,” said Muriel, pointedly ignoring Molly’s sputtered protests. “What makes you think that?”

“My patronus is a bird. A small one I think it is. Definitely no ostrich or a stork or anything”. 

“Not a chicken I hope”. 

Billie couldn’t help laughing and Muriel, who wasn’t used to being regarded as a comic person, suddenly looked very pleased with herself.

“Tell you what, girl,” she said slowly, “I think you should give it a try. <i>Don’t interrupt me, Molly. I’m a hundred and seven and a great deal wiser than you will ever be!</i> As I was saying, give it a try. But what if your patronus has nothing to do with the animal hidden inside of you and you turned into a bull or an ant? Wouldn’t get you very far then now would it? Unless your Snape friend lived as a farmer these days”.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” said Billie, “And I’ve read a few things about animagi too. If I’d be a bull, or an ant or something, some characteristics of those animals would have manifested themselves in my behaviour. As far as I know, I’m not a herd-seeking type; nor a constantly working labourer”. 

“But you do have a tendency to have your head in the clouds, I agree”, said Fred who had just come in for the breakfast that Molly had long forgotten. 

“You were not supposed to hear this,” Billie said accusingly,” You’ll ridicule me anyway”. 

“Don’t even think about it, boy” came Muriel’s snappy retort, “Besides, it’s your fault she’s making such wild plans with your ideas of a joke and your subversive activities in that shop of yours. Don’t think that I don’t know about them! You’ll get us all turned in and executed before we know it”. 

“Your limitless positivism has always been an inspiring source of encouragement, Auntie,” said Fred, as he casually bit into a piece of toast and pulled an ugly face. He opened his mouth to comment on it being cold, but was instantly silenced by the scowl Molly sent him. 

“So what are you going to do now, girl?” asked Muriel ostentatively turning her back towards Fred, “Pay a visit to Minerva?”

“Yes, I’d like to travel to Hogwarts,” said Billie, “I can’t send an owl and ask if I can come, so I will have to see what happens”. 

“You’ll never be able to enter Hogwarts if you’re not preannounced,” snorted Muriel, “Might as well stay here altogether and knit socks instead”.

“It’s true, Billie,” said Molly softly, “You’re not even sure Professor McGonnagle is there”. 

For a moment, the only sound that was to be heard in the kitchen was the chewing of Fred and a faint rumbling coming from somewhere upstairs. 

“All right, all right,” said Muriel, “I’ll be the one to save the day again. I’ll contact her”.

A broad smile instantly appeared on Billie’s face.  

“Don’t count your chickens yet, girl! I’m not promising anything. She’ll probably have better things to do than entertain you. I would!”

“Yes, you would, auntie, what with your hectic life and innumerable social contacts. We all know how you always make the life of a party. Wouldn’t want to miss …” but before he could finish, Fred dived under the table to avoid a painful collision with her handbag.

“You maleducated, deranged piece of…”

“That’s enough you two!” shouted Molly nearly hysterically, “Fred, get your brothers and Ginny out of their beds and bring them here. I’ve had enough of you! As to you, Muriel…”

“Yes, I’m off!” the older lady grumbled as she got to her feet, “That’s what you want anyway. Instead of listening to a hundered-and-seven-year old and learn! They’re a hopeless bunch of ungrateful so-and-so’s, girl! Better get you out of here as soon as you can say cauldron”

“’<i>Pot</i>’s quicker” said Fred as he sped towards the stairs, only just avoiding the hand his mother was lifting.

“I will inform you as soon as Minerva has sent a reply,” said Muriel with a haughty glance at Fred’s retreating back, “which will hopefully come soon. Meanwhile, I want you to stay here, even if it’s not a place I would like to put my daughter in”. 

“But then again, you don’t have any children, auntie!” shouted Fred from the upstairs landing. 

“Goodbye,” said Muriel, and with a forceful jerk at the door handle, she closed the backdoor behind her. 

 

Billie’s gaze instantly wandered back to Molly and she walked over to her and took her hands in hers. 

“I’m sorry. She was terribly rude to you and that’s unfair. I’m having a wonderful time here”. 

“Don’t worry, dear,” sighed Molly, “We’re used to her temper. You can’t blame the children for making fun of her. She’s horrible”. 

“And yet she has the heart in the right place,” said Billie, “She’s really trying to help now isn’t she?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” said Molly. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re here. You can stay as long as you like. I really don’t want you to step into an adventure that is likely to end badly. Besides, you have to stay for the wedding. You’re a bit part of the family. And Harry and Hermione are coming shortly”. 

Billie shook her head, “I’d better leave as soon as Professor McGonnagle tells me to come. Time’s short to learn such a difficult bit of magic anyway. And I’ll be very careful”, she promised, “If I am allowed to practise at Hogwarts during these summer months, I’ll be as safe as I can be”. 

“Not anymore, now that Dumbledore…”

“Yes…” she said, feeling the familiar stab in her stomach again, “True. But still… the remaining professors are no idiots either. Anyway, shall we cook some breakfast? I can hear the others coming”. 

 

It wasn’t until the next day after lunch that Muriel broke into the kitchen again with the fantastic news that McGonnagle had agreed to receive Billie, although she had immediately added that there was little chance the girl would indeed master the art of animal transfiguration very soon. Furthermore, there were also a long list of safety limits she would have to know about and take into account.

McGonnagle couldn’t immediately receive her though, because, according to Muriel, she was still planning some holidays with her brothers in the far north of Scotland. But Billie didn’t want to take any more advantage of the Weasley’s hospitality, especially now that the family were so preoccupied with the wedding and Harry’s transfer to the Burrow at the end of the month. She had offered to assist the Aurors and Fred and George with this task, but that had immediately been refused. Not that <i>they </i>were so much more experienced with fighting Death Eaters and possibly even Voldemort himself, but George, and especially Fred, thought that, if she joined them on the trip with Harry, she might as well commit suicide straight away. 

 

Since there was nothing useful left for her to do then, and especially now that another two guests were about to stay in a house that had already been stretched beyond the safety borders of magic, she decided it was time to leave. 

So she packed her rucksack with the few things she was going to take with her: a toothbrush and some basic bathroom things; a warm jumper and a roll-up raincoat; a few basic clothes; her wand; a couple of gadgets from the joke’s shop Fred had given her; and some basic herbs and potions: her adventure with the redcap had taught her a lesson - even if the memory of it did not mainly cause unpleasant sensations-. 

She stood for a moment playing with the miniture broomstick Severus had left in the cave and decided to take it with her too. A broomstick was probably the least dangerous magical means of transportation. And he had probably not left it to her without a reason.

 

She discussed the best way of getting to Hogwarts with Arthur and Molly and decided that the quickest and safest option was by muggle public transport. So after a long and, in Molly’s case, rather tearful goodbye and many promises to be careful and be back as soon as she was in trouble,  she apparated to the outskirts of London, from where she was going to take a bus to the little hotel she had booked in the northern part of the city. From there, she would take the train straight to Scotland as soon as Mc Gonnagle was back from visiting her relatives.


	10. Part II Chapter 10

10

 

At least that was the plan. 

After a few uneventful weeks of practising spells and hexes, during which she had made quite some progress, alternated with lazy strolls through the multicoloured, busy streets and markets of this part of the city, the date had come for her departure. She added a few more things to her bag than she had originally intended to take with her, like a spellbook Emily’s dad had advised her to buy, and a couple of potions she had brewn, just in case. 

When she checked out of the hotel, she couldn’t help wondering if the city would still be the same by the time she came back, whenever that was.

 

As soon as she stepped out of the bus at King’s Cross Station, she saw quite some commotion around her and when she entered the hall where she was going to buy her ticket, she found it packed with policemen and urgently gesticulating people. 

“What’s going on?” she asked an elderly man who stood staring at the timetable with a mixture of disbelief and resignation.

“Half of the trains are cancelled. Another bridge blown up”. 

“Again?” asked Billie, “But…”

“I know. It’s going to be a nightmare to get home”. 

“Yes but how come…?”

“Dunno…” the man shrugged, “Some nutter blew the thing up, I ‘xpect”.

“Terrorists, no doubt” said a woman, “Should be hanged like in the old days. Or sent back to those countries where they came from!”

“Right you are,” said the old man, “Anyway, we’re not going to get there by train, that’s for sure. Where’re you meant to be going?”

“North,” said Billie thinking about an alterative means of transport to get her to Hogwarts. She wondered if the Hogwarts Express drove during the summer holidays. Funny how she had never asked herself the same question before. 

“Just around the corner there’s a bus you can take to Cambridge,” said the lady, “And from there you can easily take the train again”. 

That sounded like a good idea. Billie kindly thanked the woman – although she didn’t think much of the lady’s prejudice - and said goodbye to them both, and then hurried through the exit to the bus stops. 

 

But the lady had been mistaken: there were no buses up north anymore. The last one was just about to leave, but was packed. Billie didn’t even try to get in when she saw people’s bums and cheeks squeezed against the backdoor window. The bus driver mentioned a company that organised coach trips to Edinburgh, so she decided to try her luck there. 

 

And as it happened, the coach still had room for a handful of people. It was a lot more expensive than the bus, and it wouldn’t leave until early the next morning, but Billie decided to book it anyway. The extra time would give her the opportunity to buy some food and other small things for the trip.

 

As she was sitting on a small terrace close to the coach park, she tried to follow the conversation that was taking place at the table next to her. Two men were discussing that afternoon’s events. Apparently, not just a bridge had collapsed, but also a big part of the train rails were damaged, more specifically all the tracks that ran north, as if whoever had caused this were making sure noone could travel to Scotland anymore. 

Billie wondered who they were. She had a gut feeling that no terrorists were involved whatsoever and that the Death Eaters were behind it. She supposed The Prophet would report on it the next morning. 

The waitress brought her sandwich and as she sat eating it, she watched the confusion of lost travellers, policemen and staff moving in and out of the station. It took a while before she realised that her eyes had been resting on the same person for some time. 

It was an unpleasant character, who was leering at the masses around him with drowsy eyes. At first, Billie thought he was a tramp, because his whole appearance was quite shabby and he was carrying a potato sack with what seemed like a few personal belongings in it. 

But then two terribly dodgy men showed up and started talking to him. The man opened his sack, grabbed in it and took out a silver sort of jewelry box. One of his visitors took it in his hands and carefully studied it from all angles, before he handed it back, after which the man with the potato sack showed them other objects. It was clearly a sales transaction, but whether the sold objects had been purchased in a legal way was doubtful. 

Billie sat watching the trio for a while. The seller didn’t appear to be very succesful with his sales, until he took out what seemed like a golden pendant on a chain. Both men were now studying it with interest. One of them was fumbling with it and then Billie saw that the pendant was in fact a locket, which the man wasn’t able to open. He commented on it, after which the seller shrugged, and then the locket disappeared into the potato sack again. Very soon afterwards, the party broke up, leaving the seller to pick up his things again and shuffle away with a disappointed face.

 

Billie checked her watch and decided it was time for her to go too. She still had her shopping to do, and more importantly even, empty the backroom at Emily’s parents’ apothecary, which she had been using for her potions experiments. She wasn’t likely to be back very soon if she really appeared to have a talent for animagus transfiguration. 

When she had informed Emily about her plans, her friend had been even less impressed with Billie’s intention to leave London and become an animagus than Mrs Weasley had been. But when she heard that Professor McGonnagle was going to teach her at Hogwarts, she had more or less reconciled herself to it. 

So the girls spent Billie’s last evening in London dismantling the lab in the backroom. 

“I think your dad will be glad to have his test tubes and flasks back,” remarked Billie. 

“Oh, he has plenty of them!” said Emily, “And the more tubes he has, the more he forgets to rinse them and takes fresh ones instead. I wouldn’t want to drink any of his brews, you know”

Billie laughed. “He’s an excellent potions master”. 

“If he were so brilliant as you say, he had better taught at Hogwarts instead of Snape, hadn’t he?” said Emily, “Then all this wouldn’t have happened”. 

Billie’s smile instantly froze, which didn’t escape the other girl’s observant eyes.

“So he wasn’t that nice after all,” said Emily, “I had always thought it was funny how you had changed your opinion about him last year, when we all knew he was still the insufferable and biased teacher he had always been”. 

Billie shrugged. She was fed up with being told how naive she had been and for a moment, she decided to ignore that remark, but then Emily continued with, “Have you heard what happened exactly? Dumbledore apparently was down and defenceless and Snape simply walked over to him and killed him. How cowardly can you be!”

Billie had to put down the last glass tubes she was holding or they would have fallen out of her trembling hands and broken. 

How much more stabs could a heart possibly endure before it broke altogether? For the first time in her life, she physically felt what it meant to have a broken heart.

“And still I can’t believe he did it,” she muttered more to herself than to her friend. 

“But…”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Emily,” she said firmly, meeting the other girl’s astonished glance, “Time will tell, no doubt”. 

“But you can’t deny what Harry and Hagrid have been telling, can you!” said Emily deeply shocked. 

“Well I don’t doubt they were telling the truth,” said Billie, “But the truth looks sometimes different than reality. And as long as I haven’t seen any evidence of what has happened with my own eyes, I find it very hard to accept that truth”. 

“You’re mad!”

“Perhaps,” said Billie, “Many people have told me that lately, but it’s understandable. The Severus I have seen would not have done such a horrible deed in such a cowardly way”. 

“Oh, are you on first name-terms with him already?” Emily said with unconcealed sarcasm. “You amaze me!”

Billie felt irritation coming up, but then she realised that this conversation was not going to lead them anywhere, except perhaps to a serious row. So she took a couple of seconds before she replied and when she did, she tried to sound as level-headed as possible. 

“He’s as much a mystery to me as he is to you,” she said, “And I’m not saying that anyone is lying, and I’m even less trying to find excuses for Snape’s deed, if he was the one who killed Dumbledore. I need time to sort things out, and the training Professor McGonnagle is going to give me will hopefully give me the chance to put things into perspective again”. 

Emily nodded. “So I’ll have to be patient with you again”. 

Billie couldn’t help smiling. “Yes, and I’m lucky to have a friend with such a big amount of patience in store”. And then Emily laughed too and the tension was gone.

 

The coach trip passed uneventfully. Since she was surrounded by muggles, Billie sat reading a novel, but as soon as her neighbour nodded off, she took one of her spell books and started to read. 

Most spells were defensive, but there were a couple of very nasty ones that were meant to attack. The book added illustrations of how to hold your wand and how to move it, and a couple of pictures showed what happened to the victims after they had been hit by the more violent ones. 

Billie quickly flicked the pages back to the shielding charms chapter. She hoped she would never land in a situation where she would be forced to cause such injuries to an opponent.

The coach made a stop in Birmingham and as Billie sat sipping the coffee she had bought at the services, she suddenly realised that today was Bill and Fleur’s wedding day. 

She hoped they would be glad with the cookery set she had bought them. Fleur, unfortunately, had not inherited her fellow countrymen’s talent for cooking, but the basic recipebook Billie had bought them would definitely be a great help. It explained the different steps of the cooking process not in illustrations but with miniature cooking gear. When you had to cut onions, for example, a tiny knife was chopping a small onion on a miniature board, so that you just had to imitate it, and when you had to whip zabaglione, a small whisk was hanging mid-air making little eight-s for as long as it took to get the cream frothy. And if you didn’t follow the instructions, the cook tools started to bang on the table in protest. 

She would have loved to attend the wedding and pretend nothing was wrong, but that would have been putting her head in the sand. She wasn’t in the mood for a wedding in the first place. 

As she sat watching the other travellers she wondered if any of them had an idea of what was going on. They all seemed relaxed, like any everyday traveller. A woman was buying her two children sweets for the rest of the trip; a man stood leafing through the tabloids; a Japanese couple were browsing the postcards rack and a group of people were queueing at the lavatories. It looked like a normal holiday trip. 

Billie wondered if muggles with no wizards in the family would become personally affected by Voldemort’s rise to power. There were the incidents like the collapsed bridges, of course. But what about their jobs, their private lives, their shops, schools, TV, etcetera? It seemed so strange that muggle-born wizards and witches in Britain should be hunted, tortured or worse, and that muggle Britain knew nothing about it. 

She let her eyes run over the papers’ front pages that were dominated by pictures of the damaged rails and bridge. They all hinted at a terrorrist action and asked themselves why noone had come forward to claim the attacks. 

Yes… why indeed?

She finished her coffee and followed the other travellers back to the coach. It was high time she found herself in wizard’s company again.


	11. Part II Chapter 11

11

 

When she finally got out in Edinburgh, she took a while to stretch her painful back and to decide if she should fly to Hogwarts straight away or first buy herself something to eat. If she flew straight to Hogwarts she should be arriving at dinner time, but she had no idea if Hogwarts provided any meals to visitors in the holiday period. She also thought it was a bit rude to pull up a chair and join the remaining staff for dinner as soon as she got there. 

Still, after a whole day of sandwiches, she felt she was more in need of a hot meal than anything else, so she decided to pay a visit to one of the pubs on the square. 

Just as she picked up her bag and was about to cross the road, her eyes fell on an elderly lady who stood staring at her. 

There was something familiar about her but Billie couldn’t quite put the finger on it. Her grey hair was brought together in a tight bun. Her face was long and rather wrinkled with two big, serious-looking eyes. She held herself very erect, which made her look even taller than she already was, and the long grey, woolen skirt with the dark-green jumper and completely buttoned-up blouse gave her a very strict air.

“Miss Matthews?” she asked and when Billie nodded she held out her hand and shook hers. 

“Athena McGonnagle,” she said, “I believe you have an appointment with my niece?”

“I do, yes,” smiled Billie, “What a nice surprise. I had no idea Professor MCGonnagle was going to send anyone”. 

“It wasn’t the intention,” said Athena. “Unfortunately, recent events have forced us to take serious security measures so as to make sure you safely arrive at Hogwarts”. 

“Are you referring to the railway incident?” Billie asked, not sure what that had to do with her travelling to her old school. 

Athena cast a nervous glance around, to check if they weren’t being overheard but apart from a few waiting taxis, the square looked completely deserted. 

“Haven’t you heard?” she whispered, “The ministry has been overtaken by You-know-who’s-followers”. 

Billie went ice-cold. 

“The Minister himself has been killed and rumour has it that most Heads of department were either part of the plot, or have been imperiused”. 

“But… then, what does that mean?” Billie spluttered with difficulty. 

“It means that you are in danger,” said Athena with a genuine look of compassion on her face, “Noone can say what will happen, but muggle-borns will be the first victims of this new regime”. 

“Then I will have to hide”. 

“At Hogwarts, yes,” said Athena, “At least for the time being. I’m not sure if it is at all a safe place, but as long as the schoolyear hasn’t started, I don’t think the Ministry will specifically focus on the school”. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to endanger Professor McGonnagle by putting me up”. 

“My niece is quite capable of protecting herself,“ said Athena with unconcealed pride, “She’s also the Headmistress, and as long as she stays in that role, noone will touch any of her students”. 

Despite the panic and shock she felt, Billie smiled. It was true that McGonnagle was not someone to play with. Umbridge, for one and in all her wickedness had never managed to force her will on Professor McGonnagle. 

Nor on Severus, for that matter… 

Athena’s attentive eyes registered the shadow that had fallen over the girl’s face again. 

“We had better leave at once. I have a car further down the road. If you’re ready…”

Billie nodded. Food was completely forgotten. The only thing that mattered now was to reach the castle and be out of immediate danger as soon as possible.  

“Can we drive to Hogwarts?” asked Billie as she was following Athena to her car, “I didn’t think there was a road leading to the castle that was accessible to muggle transport?”

“I can take you to the muggle village of Nimberton. Do you know it? From there on, you will have to travel on your own. I don’t have any magical skills myself, unfortunately. I sometimes wished I had, but on days like this I can’t say I regret it very much. Oh, here we are. You can put your bag in the boot, Billie”. 

“I have a broomstick. Do you think it would be safe to use that in Nimberton?”. 

Athena looked at the sky. “The sun has set already. By the time we arrive at the village it will be dark. I think you will be quite safe then”. 

They spent the time in the car discussing the present situation and trying to guess how it would change the lives of innocent wizards and witches in the country. But since they had never been in a situation like this – the previous time Voldemort hadn’t managed to break into the Ministry – it was hard to predict what was going to happen. 

“When I was a newly-wed young woman, war broke out with Germany,’ said Athena, “The feeling then was not unlike what the wizarding world is experiencing now. Minerva and I have a niece in Berlin who has often told us about the changing atmosphere in the thirties. Missing persons and arrested opponents were increasingly dominating the news until all of a sudden, the reports stopped”. She cast a sideways glance at Billie, “And that was when repression was at its height. Killings, arrests and tortures had only just begun then, but no paper was allowed to report on them. The day the Daily Prophet stops publishing photos of missing persons will be the day that his power is complete”. 

“Which is probably today or tomorrow”. 

“Regrettably yes”. 

A sad silence fell then and the two women finished their journey in silence, wrapped up in their own miserable thoughts. 

 

Athena had been right. By the time the village of Nimberton loomed up into the distance, night had fallen and the sky was dotted with innumerable stars. There was no moon, however, and that, together with the dark shadows of the forest that bordered the village, would make a perfect cover during Billie’s flight. 

“There you are, girl. Give my regards to my niece. Tell her to be careful”. 

“I will, and thank you for taking me here”, said Billie as she warmly shook the other lady’s hand, “I wish we had met in more pleasant circumstances. I really enjoyed our conversation”. 

“You’re a sweet girl,” smiled Athena, “and who knows… one day, when he’s destroyed, we can share a carefree cup of tea in an Edinburgh café”. 

“Let’s hope that day will be soon,” sighed Billie, “Anyway, I’d better leave. Thanks again”. 

“Farewell, Billie. You will be in safe hands soon”. 

The girl nodded, gave a tap on the miniature broom to make it grow to its full size, mounted it and took off. 

When she looked down to wave goodbye, she couldn’t distinguish Athena’s figure in the darkness anymore. She turned her broom into the direction of the Forbidden Forest and the castle beyond, cast a sad glance at the spot where the cave with its pleasant memories had to be, and with another deep sigh sent the broomstick ahead.

 

Just as she was passing over an open space in the forest, where the trees were less high, her eyes fell on the burnt remnants of Hagrid’s hut in the distance, and she felt her stomach turn. 

It was the first time that she saw real evidence of Hogwarts’ failing security system and it left her even more uncomfortable than she had been before. Then, just as the hut disappeared from view again, the broom slowed down and after a couple of seconds stopped altogether. 

The castle’s defense system was not completely failing, apparently.  She was at a few feet above the ground, so she wondered if she shouldn’t jump off and walk to the main gates, but a glance at the threatening woods below made her change her mind. She steered the broom away from the castle towards the village of Hogsmeade, from where she could take the path to the castle’s main gates. 

 

It was nearing midnight when she finally pulled the bell that announced her arrival. Within moments, the impressive front door was opened and a dark shape with a pointed hat came hurrying towards the gates.

“Miss Matthews, finally!” came the worried voice of her host, “Come in, quickly,”. 

Billie slipped through the gap the opening gate was making and which closed immediately after she had passed through. 

“I have had to send Argus away with an excuse,” explained Professor McGonnagle, as she led the way to the entrance at a speed Billie had never seen in her. “I didn’t want you to be welcomed by our caretaker. Terrible business. Have you heard?”

Billie nodded. 

“I’m not sure how long I can keep you here, Billie,” McGonnagle said with a sad look at the girl, “Hogwarts will definitely not stay out of You-Know-Who’s grasp for very long. Anyway, we’re here. Are you hungry?”

Billie hesitated. The shocking news she had received earlier-on had instantly removed all her appetite but now that she had safely arrived, the idea of food didn’t sound too unattractive anymore.

“Let us go straight to my room,” suggested McGonnagle, “I will ask the house elves to bring us something to eat. We never use the Great Hall these days. We’re too few anyway”. 

“Who is staying here now?”

“Only Hagrid, Professor Slughorn, Filch and myself”, said Professor McGonnagle as she led the way through the silent corridors. 

“The castle looks different," Billie remarked, “A couple of things are missing”. 

“That’s correct, dear. The armour that stood over there was completely destroyed when the Death Eaters broke in, and so were other objects that stood between here and the Astronomy tower”. 

“I heard about the battle, “said Billie softly, and there was loads she wanted to ask McGonnagle about it, but she didn’t dare. Now wasn’t the right moment anyway. 

“Yes,” McGonnagle sighed, “And I fear it was only the beginning”. 

In the meantime, they had arrived at the gargoyle. If McGonnagle gave a password she did it in silence because the gargoyle sprang to life before Billie had heard anything. 

“Have you ever been here?” asked the Headmistress as she pushed open the door to the semicircular room. 

Billie shook her head. 

“Good, then you have never been in serious trouble, I presume”, the older lady smiled. 

As soon as she had stepped over the threshold, Billie’s eyes were drawn towards the big portrait behind the Headmistress chair. 

Dumbledore lay peacefully sleeping with his hands folded on his chest. It was strange to see him like this. 

McGonnagle followed her gaze. 

“I don’t know what we’re going to do without him,” she sighed, “Now that the Ministry has fallen. And with Snape passing all our information to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named…”. 

Billie looked sideways at her. “So it’s true then? He has moved over to the other side?”. 

“He’s always been on the other side”, said McGonnagle bitterly, “Where Dumbledore’s trust came from nobody knows, but it has proven to be extremely naive. And lethal at that”. She gave a big sigh. “If only his portrait could give a reasonable explanation for what has happened - not that it would change anything, but there are so many questions we’re struggling with; about You-Know-Who; about Potter’s role in this. I know that Professor Dumbledore has met Harry Potter several times last year and that they were out of the castle together on the night he died, but he has never told me why. We have no idea how to fight or destroy the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters. I regret to say this, Billie, but we’re standing completely and hopelessly defenceless. No matter what specialised skills each of us has”. 

“Well I suppose you will be able to handle the Death Eaters,” remarked Billie, “They’re just ordinary wizards aren’t they?”

“And not even the cleverest ones I have taught,” McGonnagle agreed, “But still… there are all sorts of other creatures that have joined Him. Werewolves, trolls, giants… And all those are nothing compared to His own power. Only Albus could have stood against Him. And Potter perhaps, although I have no idea whether the boy still lives, if he has been able to escape before all means of transportation were blocked or how long he will last”. 

She turned to Billie, who noticed to her embarrasment that there were tears in the other woman’s eyes. 

“Anyway, we will have to keep you safe. And I wish I could train many more of you. It’s a shame how Defence Against the Dark Arts has hardly ever been taught at an acceptable level”. 

“Harry did a good job, though,” said Billie. 

“Yes, thank Merlin for that. Funny how Snape knew about the DA and never tried to stop them. Perhaps he likes a little resistance when he’s playing with his victims. Neither of you is a match for him anyway, no matter how well Potter has taught you”. 

Then she sank down into the big chair behind the Headmaster desk and motioned for Billie to sit too. 

“Please help yourself”. She waved at a plate with salmon and tuna sandwiches that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and Billie took one, although the mentioning of Snape three times in not very positive wordings had immediately spoiled her appetite again. She started to nibble on the salmon sandwich she had chosen, but she might as well have chewed on a piece of cardboard.

“So you are thinking of becoming an animagus,” said McGonnagle, “Why is that?”

“It seems like an excellent disguise for someone like me,” said Billie, “I’m not the best at fighting, or at defending myself, and as a muggle-born I can’t openly operate in the wizarding world now. Being an animagus would offer me a lot of opportunities that I don’t have now”. 

“Depending on the animal you become of course,” said McGonnagle. “It is true that Animagi can sometimes infiltrate where other people can’t, and move in circles where humans would instantly be killed. But you do know what the dangers of being an animagus are?”

“I know that you shouldn’t take its shape for a too long time, because it ultimately affects your brain”, said Billie, “One third of your time at the maximum, I believe it is”. 

“Yes, “ said McGonnagle, “And learning the transfiguration is one thing, but in such a way that you keep your human thinking-ability in animagus shape is extremely advanced magic, which only a very limited number of wizards and witches have ever been able to master”. 

“What happens if you don’t succeed?”

“Not being able to transfigure does not have many consequences. It will simply not work. But if you do have a talent, the learning process can be extremely dangerous, because if your incantation is wrongly pronounced, or the spell goes wrong in another way, you could seriously be wounded, and, in the worst case, suffer severe brain damage”. 

“So you don’t think I should try it”. 

“I didn’t say that but the risks are high. Furthermore, if you manage to transfigure in animagus form, I am forced to register you”. 

“But then there’s no point in trying to become one, is there? I’ll be found out straight away!”. 

“Yes, and no. Suppose you changed into a dog. There are so many dogs in Britain that it would be impossible for anyone to trace you. They can’t very well use a re-transfiguration spell on all the dogs they come across”. 

Billie nodded. 

“But given the circumstances, I don’t think I would register you. We are at war, after all. Or we will soon be”. McGonnagle gave a humourless smile.

“Is there a way to find out if I have a talent for animal transfiguration or not?” asked Billie after a little while.

“Yes, and that is exactly why I wanted you to come here. Teaching someone the art of animagus transfiguration is a long-lasting process, and now that our school is threatened to be overruled, I am not sure I will be able to fulfill that task myself. But…” she added as she saw Billie’s face drop, “I can give you the address of a very skilled animagus in France. If things come to a head, you will have to flee from the country anyway so perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to study with Francis after all”. 

“That sounds like a terribly cowardly thing to do”, remarked Billie

“Not at all. I would consider it a very clever thing to do. And if you succeed and put yourself at the service of us who fight the Dark Lord, you will have largely compensated for that.

“However, it is too late for that tonight,” she said as she rose to her feet, “I think you should have some rest now. I suppose it has been a long day”. 

Billie nodded and rose too. “Will I be using the Ravenclaw dormitories again?”

“No, I reserved a separate room for you,” McGonnagle smiled, “You may as well be a little more comfortable while you stay here. The house elves have prepared one of the rooms on the seventh floor. I will show you the way”. 

So she was going to be close to the Room of Requirements, Billie thought. Not a bad prospect if ever she had to hide somewhere. 

 

The room appeared to be a small appartment, with en suite bathroom, a couple of comfortable seats around the fire and an enormous canopy bed in an annex room. There was even a small separate kitchen. 

Billie decided to try out the impressive looking bath before turning in. Her brain was buzzing with all the things she had learnt and heard that day and that were seriously depressing her. Even this wonderful bedroom in a castle that had been her home for such a long time couldn’t help her to put things into perspective again and see a clear way forward if, for example, she appeared to have no talent for animal transfiguration at all. 

To her surprise, she slept very well. The bath, or rather the herbs that had been floating in it, had managed to finally put her mind at ease, so that by the time she climbed into her bed and sank into the thick pillows, she was so relaxed she instantly dropped off. 

 

The next morning, after the kind of breakfast that only the house elves could cook, and which she had enjoyed in the solitude of her room in front of the open French windows, there was a discrete knock on her door, and Professor Mc Gonnagle greeted her with a broad smile. 

“I see you have settled in very nicely,” she said, “You look well rested”. 

“That’s because I <i>am</i> well rested,” smiled Billie, “I had nearly forgotten how wonderfully this castle takes care of its inhabitants”. 

“WIth a little help from the house elves perhaps?”

“Definitely”.

“Very well, Billie,” said Professor McGonnagle. “I suggest we go back to my office now. If you are ready, that is”. 

 

This time, Dumbledore’s portrait was awake and watching them with genuine interest. But he didn’t say anything. 

“Is it all right with you if I call you Billie?” asked Professor McGonnagle

“Of course, Professor”. 

“And then you should call me Minerva”, she smiled, “Now that you have met my sister and given the secret we are going to share, I think we have moved beyond the strict professor-student relation.

“Now, Billie, before we test whether you have an innate talent for animal transfiguration, I would like to ask you what makes you believe you could learn this, and which type of animal you think you would become”. 

Billie moved a little uncomfortably. The things she had told Molly and Auntie Muriel suddenly seemed so insignificant now that she was facing her former Transfiguration Teacher.  

“It’s a feeling I can’t describe,” she said a little hesitantly, “It happened a couple of times when I was apparating, or just about to. It was as if I was taking another form but it could have been a side-effect of apparition too”. 

Minerva nodded. 

“And my patronus is a bird, which is the feeling I got when I was apparating. I don’t know what it is, but I have a feeling these two are related in one way or the other”. 

“Hm… “ Her teacher seemed to ponder on this for a moment, “I have never heard of animagus transfiguration being manifested in apparition, but it is possible of course. There must indeed have been something that gave you that impression. You look quite convinced”. 

“Not at all,” said Billie, “It could be a mere coincidence”. 

“Well, it won’t hurt to test you anyway,” said Minerva as she rose to her feet, “I must confess I have had to practice for this, Billie. It has been a long time since I was last asked to perform this test, even if this school has known a couple of animagi lately”. 

“I thought they hardly existed?” asked Billie in surprise.

“Yes, well.. these weren’t ordinary students, but that would be leading us too far. Now, Billie, if the animagus is latent in your body, my test may cause a very peculiar and unpleasant sensation at first. I know that you have no idea what it feels like to transform, and that you can’t prepare for it, but you have to be aware of this anyway”.

“Is there anything I should do to facilitate the transformation?”

“I think you only have to trust me” said Minerva, “Try to undergo it. Don’t resist me in any way. Do you think you can do that?”

“I hope so,” said Billie. 

“Very well. Here we go then”. She pointed her wand at Billie, “<i>Altero</i>”.

For a split second, Billie thought Professor McGonnagle had sent the killing curse at her. A heavy pain exploded in her chest and instantly blew her off her feet. The next moment, she was lying panting on the floor, with a painfully bruised shoulder and a nasty blow on her head. 

A shocked Minerva helped her to her feet again, looking at least as pale as the girl herself. “Are you all right? Oh dear, I am so sorry”. 

“Never mind,” Billie hastened to say, “I had no idea the effect would be so powerful. Was this what you had expected?”

“Not really,“ said McGonnagle still terribly nervous, “It shouldn’t have any effect at all if the talent is missing. And if it is latent, I have never known this spell to be so violent, especially when the transfiguration fails to happen anyway”. 

“I’m not seriously injured, please don’t worry”, Billie assured her, still feeling rather shaky, “But does that mean that I could have the talent anyway?”

“Well, perhaps, although I’m puzzled why the transfiguration didn’t take place then. I’m not sure if I dare try it again, however. Perhaps I should see if I can find anything more on the subject first. Or I could contact Francis in France and see if he has any idea what has happened”. 

Billie nodded. She had to admit that this wasn’t the worst idea McGonnagle could think of. Her whole body hurt.

“Why don’t we wait until I have more news then,” Minerva suggested, “It’s a beautiful day and Sunday at that. Perhaps you would like to go for a walk in the grounds, or enjoy the school in silence, now that we have no students around. You have been away for a bit, haven’t you?”

“Yes,”  said Billie, “For a year, now. And I have terribly missed this place”. 

“Well then. In any case you’ll be safer within the gates of Hogwarts than anywhere else. I wouldn’t go to Hogsmeade or anywhere outside if I were you. From what I hear, dark things are happening already”. 

Billie nodded. “I will probably spend most of the time in my room anyway,” she said, “I’d like to catch up with some practice”. 

“Good!” said Minerva and she sounded surprisingly relieved. “I will send for you as soon as we can continue. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to contact me or call for a house elf. Apart from us, you’re not likely to meet many members of staff, I’m afraid”. 

“Thank you, I’ll manage”. 

 

It was nice to be out of the dark headmistress room, but also strange. 

As soon as the stone staircase had taken her down, the silence in the corridors descended on her like a heavy weight. Somehow, the castle seemed dead without the constant noise of students around. It was strange to walk the corridors without Emily or any other friends around her and without the prospect of class or other normal school-life activities to look forward to.

She decided to enjoy a little of the nice weather outside, but even the stroll in the grounds didn’t really cheer her up. The sun was shining in a cloudless sky, and the happy singing of the birds in the surrounding trees created the illusion of a carefree world. But Billie couldn’t push the feeling of impending doom aside, even less so when, as soon as she entered the grounds, the first thing that caught her eye was Dumbledore’s white tomb. 

She walked towards it. 

It was soberly designed and yet immensely impressive, just like he himself had been in life. There was a golden plate with his names and dates but apart from that, the tomb was spotless white. 

She spent some time sitting by it, trying to grasp the full impact of his death now that Voldemort had come back to power. But the thoughts and questions that kept on circling around in her mind were so depressing that she couldn’t stay there very long, and she decided she needed some action instead. She walked back to her room and spent the rest of the day improving her speed and practising silent spells.

 

It was late in the afternoon the next day when she was startled by a knock on the door and a house elf asked her to join Professor McGonnagle in her office at once. 

As she arrived there she found her teacher beaming at her from behind her desk. 

“I believe I have some wonderful news for you, my dear!” she said with an enthusiasm Billie had seldom seen in her, “According to Francis, the violent effect of the spell proves that the animagus transformation talent is indeed present, but that your body is heavily fighting against it”. 

Billie’s face instantly broke into a broad smile too. “So that means that I can learn it!”. 

“Indeed”, nodded Minerva, “But the journey will not be a picnic. I have never seen anyone fight so violently against their own second nature. Francis said he had taught only one such case a long time ago and it literally cost his student blood, sweat and tears and an enormous amount of patience from the teacher”. 

“I see,” said Billie, “So I’m not very likely to master it quickly then”. 

“Prob…” and then McGonnagle was brutely interrupted by an urgent knock on the door. 

 

The two women stared at each other in shock. Noone could pass the gargoyle without the password or a pre-announcement. 

Minerva racked her brain for anyone she could think of who would still remember Dumbledore’s password, which, for sentimental reasons, she had refused to change. … and that seemed like a tremendously foolish thing to have done now, a reflection that was immediately confirmed when the door opened and none other than Severus Snape entered the room.


	12. Part II Chapter 12

12

 

Billie leapt to her feet as if stung by a bee, but instantly had to grasp the corner of McGonnagle’s desk for support again. With a deadly-white face, she stood staring into two black eyes that were looking down on her with a coldness that went straight through her heart. 

He was not alone. With him were a short and fat, untidy looking woman dressed in black, shabby robes, and a slightly taller, greasy-haired man with a spotted face, pointed nose, an unpleasantly twisted mouth who stood leering at Billie as if she were an unexpected bit of luck.

“Severus!” gasped McGonnagle who looked at least as pale as Billie and had leapt to her feet together with her. As opposed to Billie, however, she instantly recovered, drew herself up to full height with a look of open disgust on her face and addressed Snape with a tone Billie had never heard her use before. “How dare you burst into this room like this!”. 

“Now listen here you…” the woman snarled but she was instantly stopped by Snape’s raised hand

“Quiet…” said Snape slowly. For a moment, there was complete silence and when he spoke again, it sounded soft and threatening. 

“You were saying, Minerva?”

“How dare you show yourself <i>here</i>, of all places!” . 

The black eyes slowly travelled towards a spot behind her back and rested on Dumbledore’s silently watching portrait for a while. If the killing of his former protector had touched him in any way, there wasn’t a trace of it to be found on his shallow face. He stood looking at the portrait as if it were an ordinary piece of furniture.

“Believe me, Minerva,” he said, his attention directed at the Headmistress again, “As little as I value your opinion on my presence here, I have to bring up in my defence that I have more right to be here than yourself”.

“Is that so?” McGonnagle replied icily “And what should give you that right, I wonder”. 

“The Dark Lord himself, perhaps?” he replied softly while he shot a silencing glance at his companions, who had loudly snorted at this reply, “I doubt a well-informed person like yourself should not be aware of the Dark Lord’s recent victory”. 

“Bet he owned it to you then, did he?” Minerva snapped, “After all the information you stole from us. You’re most probably his favourite pet now.”“The Dark Lord is grateful towards his loyal servants, indeed,” said Snape, with a corner of his lips lifted in a highly unpleasant, and yet familiar way, “which is why I daresay you will not be surprised to hear that He has rewarded me with the position of Headmaster of this school… as of today”.

Another painful silence fell during which McGonnagle stood staring at him in utmost horror. Billie stood dumbfounded too, but her shock had more to do with the realisation that the man she was now looking at and who she had so deeply believed in, had indeed all the appearances of the immoral killer everyone in the  wizarding world claimed he was. At the same time, she also knew with certainty that he was the real Snape, and not an imposter in disguise. There was no mistaking his identity, even if nothing in the way he stood there suggested that he had shown a more human side of himself not merely two weeks before, in the presence of a muggle-born. He was the same man. And this awareness paralysed her completely.

He was now eyeing the older woman with unconcealed triumph, whereas McGonnagle returned his gaze as if she was going to turn him into a toad simply by staring at him.

“May I therefore ask you to instantly leave this room”, he said completely unimpressed “I think I might want to install myself as we speak”. 

McGonnagle lifted her chin in a way that did not in the least acknowledge defeat. 

“I can’t see why you should want to do that. The schoolyear is still a month away. I’m sure the Dark Lord did not want you to perform this task until the start of term”. 

“On the contrary”, Snape drawled, “We have administrative work to do. You see, I think it is time for – shall we say – some spring-cleaning?... the time of year when we dispose of <i>redundant</i> objects?”

And to Billie’s horror, and his companions’ absolute delight, the black eyes suddenly shifted towards her. As opposed to the couple he had brought with him and on whose face the evilest of wicked grins was now playing, Snape’s face was impassive, apart from the ice-cold eyes that were deeply boring into hers. 

What it was he was seeing there Billie couldn’t possibly tell, because she was so shocked and terrified that her brain was incapable of forming any reasonable thought.

Finally, it was Minerva who broke the heavy silence. 

“I think you had better leave us for a moment, Billie” and with a look full of hatred her big eyes settled on Snape “We should have this conversation in private, I think”.

“As you wish,” he replied mockingly, “Alecto, why don’t you escort Miss Matthews back to her room? I am sure she will want to pack”. 

“Miss Matthews is here on <i>my</i> invitation,” snapped Professor McGonnagle, “She won’t leave this castle until I tell her so”. 

“On second thoughts, Amycus,” said Snape, completely ignoring McGonnagle’s remark, “I think you had better join them too. We do not want her to… <i>hurt</i> your dear sister, do we?”

Amycus displayed another one of his toothless, evil grins as his dodgy eyes rolled back towards the young woman. 

“Surely not, Headmaster,” he said, “I’m sure she is quite a handful indeed. I don’t think we should be too soft with her”. 

An unpleasant shiver passed over Billie’s spine and her stomach painfully contracted with fear. Facing a cruel and insensitive version of the man she thought she had loved was one thing, but being pushed into the hands of such revolting, clearly psychopatic brutes by him was quite another. She furiously racked her brain for a way to escape but before she could think of anything, the woman had grasped her arm and was pulling her towards the door.

“One more word if you please, Alecto,” said Snape, just before she had pushed the girl through the door and down the gargoyle. He came sweeping towards them and addressed them in a voice that was barely audible to anyone else but the four of them, “Keep her alive… I would like to have a…<i> word</i> with her myself… after you are finished… She will have to be fit enough to answer a few questions.

“And you will stay here, Minerva,” he said in a louder voice. Apparently, Professor McGonnagle had tried to come at Billie’s rescue but was immediately forced back into her chair.

If a shred of hope had still lingered somewhere deep inside of Billie, it was now definitively crushed. 

It was over. Voldemort hadn’t even fully risen back to power yet and she was already captured and in the hands of a couple of clearly deranged Death Eaters who would do heaven-knows-what to her. Snape – of all people! – had very rightly accused her of recklessness and ignorance. And she had thought she could play a role in Voldemort’s defeat! 

And that she could trust Snape…

 

But before she could finish these thoughts, she was thrown headlong down the stone steps and instantly pulled to her feet again by a furiously looking Alecto. Now that the Headmaster’s office door had closed behind them and they were out of Snape’s view, all hell seemed loose. 

“Now listen, girl”, the woman hissed, sending a foul breath straight into her face, “You will very nicely bring us to your room and don’t you dare to use any tricks on us. You see,” she clawed into the girl’s hair and gave the locks a painful jerk, “my brother has taken your wand”. Amycus stood indeed waving her wand in sheer mockery

As she was pushed and kicked forwards, Billie desperately searched for a way to get away. If only anyone should meet them in the corridor – Hagrid, or Slughorn… or Peeves for that matter… anyone who could raise the alarm… and save her. 

But the castle looked as dead as the previous days, and not one living soul, not even a ghost, was to be seen.

 

When they reached her room, Billie wondered if the room of requirement could save her in any way, but of course it couldn’t. Whatever happened, she should never reveal its secret to any Death Eater in the first place. Who knows how many more people, the remaining ex-DA members for instance, would be in need of this room in the next schoolyear.

Amycus kicked the door of her room open and jerked her away from his sister’s hands. “Now let’s see what fun you are, you … mudblood, am I right?” 

“Yes”. 

At that very moment, as Billie fully realised the hopelessness of her situation, a sudden strange calm came over her. She looked straight into Amycus’s blurry eyes and said with the utmost contempt, “And what about it? My parents are a thousand times more decent than you lot!”. 

And that finished her of course. 

The next moment she was lying on the ground, writhing in pain. Alecto had shot the cruciatus spell at her, which lasted a too large number of seconds. When it finally stopped, Billie had no time to catch her breath at all. From two sides, kicks and blows rained down on every inch of her body, until she was screaming in pain, and even then it didn’t stop. 

“Decent, eh? Being clever are you, you filthy piece of scum?” With every syllable Alecto spat out, she kicked and slapped the girl wherever she could until Billie hardly moved anymore. Then Amycus took out his wand and started to throw her up and down like a puppet, each time making sure her head or another part of her body bumped against the cabinet, the cupboard or another piece of sharp-edged furniture. By the time he grew tired of that, Billie had long lost all sense of time and place. She felt as if no single bone was left unbroken in her body and no organ undamaged; she lay retching and gasping while the ceaseless kicks and blows mercilessly continued to hammer down on her. At the height of her misery, the faint sound of voices reached her from somewhere, but she was far beyond apprehension or senses altogether to care. 

It took a while before she even understood that the violence had stopped. And as her stomach turned again as a result of the countless kicks she had received, she vaguely had the impression that the ground disappeared from underneath her. 

 

In fact, she was hanging in mid-air, carefully inspected but not touched by a deeply concerned Snape. 

The black eyes travelled towards the window, through which, a few minutes later, he saw the Carrows walk away from the grounds. 

It wasn’t until they had safely disappeared through the gates and, with the help of some floo powder, until he had instructed Filch to not let anyone in for the rest of the day, that he turned back to the in and out of conscience-flowing girl. 

She was in such a terrible state that he didn’t even dare to lay her on the bed, for fear her own body weight would hurt her. He gently turned her around, so that her back was lying on top and carefully removed her blood-stained T-Shirt, bra and jeans. 

There wasn’t an inch that wasn’t bruised or scratched or worse. 

He took a flask from inside his robes and very slowly, very cautiously started to mutter incantations and pour drops of golden liquid in her open wounds. The potion surely had to itch and yet, she didn’t even flinch, poor girl. 

When he thought he had treated all, or at least most of the injuries on her back, he carefully let his fingers run over her shoulders, backbone, pelvis and hips to see if anything was broken. 

The left shoulder was dislocated. He held his wand against it and with a flash, and a low moan that escaped from her lips, the arm snapped in place again.

Then he turned her around, took her in his arms and carried her towards the canopy bed, where he carefully lowered her onto the mattress.

Her eyes were open but unfocused. Well, open was a big word. One eye was swollen and black; the other one had a bad cut above the eyelid and was half covered too by a bruise on her cheekbone. Just like on her back, her face and the rest of her body were bruised, scratched and swollen all over the place. On her right breast he could clearly see the imprint of five fingers, as if they had grabbed her there.  

Severus leapt to his feet. She urgently needed a strong strengthening and healing solution and a pain killer. They were on the seventh floor, he remembered, so the quickest way to help her was next door. 

The hidden doors instantly appeared on his request and in less than ten seconds, he had found what he needed inside the Room of Requirement and reappeared again, carrying a couple of glass bottles with liquids and pills. 

He made sure noone saw him enter the room again and magically sealed the bedroom door as soon as he had entered. 

Billie’s eyes were closed now and she was breathing heavily. Very gently, he slipped his hand underneath her to lift her head and brought one of the brightly-coloured liquids to her lips. 

“Drink this, Billie, “ he ordered her softly, “Go on, you will feel better”.

He had to try several times before the lips parted. 

Her eyes opened again and rested on his for a short while, as she sat leaning against his arm, but he didn’t think she was taking much in. Soon, under the influence of the heavy potion, she would fall into a deep sleep anyway. 

He carefully lowered her back into the cushions and started to whisper the incantations that should stop the haemorrhages. At the same time, he trickled all sorts of liquids into the various cuts and open wounds and very gently felt for fractures, just like he had done on her back. Apart from two ribs, all seemed unbroken, but when his fingers put some pressure on the area of her intestines or womb, she winced in her sleep, and that seriously worried him. 

For a moment, he sat thinking what he should do. If any of those organs were injured, he should immediately take her to a hospital. But there was no way of escaping from here unnoticed, and even less so with a sick girl in his arms. 

Then he thought about Madam Pomfrey. He had no idea if she was in the castle, but calling for her was not an option either. He might as well be wearing a huge sign saying “I’m on your side, but don’t tell anyone”. 

On the other hand, Billie’s health mattered to him. As it was, her whole being in existence mattered to him. How much was not the topic to reflect upon now, but what the Carrows had done to her deeply affected him, and at the same time filled him with blind fury. He would have a tremendous job hiding his disgust for them if he was expected to endure their presence for a whole schoolyear.

He inspected her belly more closely, lit his wand to have a better view and saw that the whole side of her belly was bruised. 

He got to his feet; took the last bottle he hadn’t used yet, found a syringe in another inside pocket, filled it with the liquid, which he carefully injected just underneath her naval. It was an old recipe from his mother’s family side, and it had proved its effectiveness already on quite a few victims of physical abuse who he had come across lately. 

As the potion entered her body, he tried to picture how it was spreading and healing all the internal injuries it met on its way. Normally, after a couple of minutes, he should already be able to touch her belly without causing any more pain. If there wasn’t any improvement, there would hopefully still be time to get her into a hospital nearby in one way or the other, and he would deal with the consequences later.

As he sat waiting for the potion to do its work, he realised he had not checked her head yet. He very gently lifted bits of the thick, long hair to see what lay underneath and found a small bloodstain at the back. That could be healed easily enough, but then he remembered how she had collided with the side of a cabinet as he was entering the room when the Carrows were throwing her up and down like a jojo. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had suffered some sort of concussion too. 

He flicked his wand at the curtains to shut away the rays of the setting sun, in case she awoke. Then he started to tend to her head injuries as well. 

If she hadn’t suffered any permanent damage, either a miracle would have happened or she would be blessed with an extremely resistent body. Having studied her rather frail built in detail, he supposed it would have to be the former. 

He gently nudged the spot where she had winced and to his relief, her breathing continued in the same, regular, sleeper’s rhythm.  His fingers further traced the area around her stomach, liver and further down, but when he came at her knickers he hesitated. 

Surely they hadn’t…? 

He looked back at the nasty fingerprints on her breast, and then his expression hardened. 

No… she hadn’t been raped… At least the Carrows had left her some dignity. He shuddered at the mere thought of it and quickly concentrated on the bruises that were covering both her legs. 

“Severus?”

His head shot up. She lay watching him from between her thick eyelashes. The left eye was still smaller than the right one, but the swelling had nearly disappeared already. He shoved up closer to where her head was and let his eyes run over her damaged face. 

“Are you in pain?” he asked softly

“A little”, she tried to push herself up into sitting position, but her face instantly twisted in pain and she sank back into the cushions again. 

Very carefully, he shoved his arms under her knees and shoulders and pulled her up. Then he let her rest against him as he summoned a couple of extra pillows and arranged them with the cushions behind her back. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

For a while, neither of them spoke. Billie just lay back with her eyes on him, drowsy from the potion he had given her and from the terrible headache that was torturing her. 

Finally, it was Severus who started to speak. 

“You are severly injured. Do you remember what happened?”. 

She looked down at her bloodied hands and nodded. 

“I’m glad I was right,” she whispered, and looked up at him. There were tears in her eyes. “You’re on our side, aren’t you?”

It was his turn now to avoid her gaze. “I think I have treated all the injuries they have inflicted on you. How do you feel know? Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere. And I have a terrible headache”, she sighed as she sank a little deeper into the pillows. “I can’t keep my eyes open very well”. 

“Well then you had better catch some sleep”. He reached out and very lightly moved his thumb over the cheek he cupped in his hand. “I will give you a draught that should give you some rest for a couple of hours. By the time you awake, you will probably feel better. But first I have to bandage you up a little”. 

He took his hand away and shifted his gaze to the shoulder he had put in place again. “You will probably not have much use of your arm in the next days. Is that your wand arm?”

Billie shook her head, which immediately caused a painful stab around her eyes.

He took out a package of bandages. “I will try not to hurt you too much”, but then his eyes fell on the dried patches of blood her nearly naked skin was smeared with. 

“I cannot apply any bandages like this,” he muttered, “The wounds are quite clean now, but I cannot cover them with patches or anything if the dirt is not removed around them”.

His eyes travelled to the door at the far end of the room. “Do you have a bath in here?”

“Yes…” she replied hesitantly

He saw the fear in her eyes. “Do not worry. I will not throw you into a pool of ordinary water and soap. I have herbs with me that help the healing process and alleviate the pain at the same time. They will do you good”. 

He cast another worried glance at her injuries. “However, I am not sure if I can let you take a bath on your own. It would not be safe. I do not even think you will manage to lower yourself into it in the first place”. 

Billie shrugged but regretted it instantly when a sharp pain shot through her dislocated shoulder.

“You can help me. I don’t mind,” she whispered as she waited for the pain to subside. “Just have it over and done with as soon as possible”.

 “It will not take long,” he promised. He was already on his feet and on his way to the bathroom. “Do not try to get up, yet. I will help you”.

Billie closed her eyes as the sound of running water filled the room. She had a feeling her head could split open any moment. Then, as Snape’s arms slipped underneath her again and lifted her up, she didn’t even bother to open her eyes and let her head rest against his shoulder instead. She wished she could stay there forever. 

But it wasn’t to be. The next moment, she felt her feet touch the bathroom floor already, but they weren’t carrying her weight yet. Severus kept his arms firmly around her to support her until the sudden dizziness had ebbed away. Then she was vaguely aware of being helped out of her knickers. In other circumstances she might at least have found this embarrassing, but now, she was well beyond caring. 

She let him lift her up again and lower her into the body-warm water. 

For as far as she was able to enjoy anything in this condition, it did her good. The constant throbbing and stinging subsided a little in the lukewarm water and for a moment, she closed her eyes and would have dropped off if it wasn’t for the circular movements with which Severus was passing a piece of cloth over her body. So she looked up again. 

His arm was bare. He had removed his black robes and was now sitting on the side of the bath in shirt sleeves. It wasn’t a usual sight and it gave him a completely different appearance. When he moved his hand, her eyes fell on the ugly mark on the inside of his arm.

“Shouldn’t you be going back?” she asked. 

The black eyes shifted back to meet hers.

“I will… in a few moments”. 

“Will you come back?”.

“Naturally,” he said as he cast his eyes down to where his hand was removing the blood stains, “I have to follow up on your progress, I think”.

“But that’s probably dangerous,” whispered, Billie, “Does anyone know that you’re here? With me?”

His eyes immediately shot back to her in alarm. 

“Definitely not. And it must be kept that way. Do you understand?”

“Of course,” she said, and her hand automatically closed around his in the water and held it there, “But what if anyone has followed you or saw you enter this room? What about that horrible couple?”

“They have left,” he said, not making the slightest effort to release himself from her grip, “But they will be back. And probably soon”.

For a while, neither spoke as they sat looking at each other in silence.

“Why have you come here?” he finally asked.

“Hasn’t Minerva told you?”

“In case it has escaped your attention, we are not on such terms”.“True…” she said, and all of a sudden, the whole idea of wanting to be an animagus seemed incredibly ridiculous when she was to open up to him now. 

“Well…?” he asked when she didn’t immediately reply. 

“Do you remember that you wanted me to work on my transfiguration skills?”

“Of course,” he said, as he leaned over to grab one of the shampoos on the shelf behind her “Is that why you are here?”

“Sort of… I thought that perhaps… you know… I could become … an animagus and make myself useful”. 

The black eyes went wide open in surprise. “You… <i>what</i>?!” The hand that held the bottle froze in mid-air for a while so that the creamy liquid started to trickle through his fingers.

“I know, I know. It was or is a stupid idea. But what else can I do? I don’t even have a right to be alive it seems”. 

“And you definitely will not be allowed to stay here for a couple of months, or in the worst case years, until you have mastered the art of animagus transfiguration”. 

He put down the bottle and was now rubbing his hands together. Then he seemed at a loss. “How do you normally do this?” he asked with a glance at the long hair that was floating around her. “Can you lie back?”. 

She shook her head. Holding herself steady in the bath was already quite a task with a dislocated arm and another one that was bruised over its complete length. 

With one hand supporting the back of her head and his other one under her knees, he gently lay her down so that her hair was completely submerged. Then he lifted her back into a sitting position and carefully started to rub the shampoo in.

“Has she tested you?” he asked as the long fingers were massaging her scalp

 “Yes”. 

“And did it work? Did you transfigure?”. 

“Yes, … I mean no! No, I didn’t transfigure,” she corrected herself, “But my body reacted very violently to the spell. And that, according to Professor McGonnagle, could mean that something is hidden somewhere”. 

There was genuine interest in the eyes that rested on her now. 

“But you did not transfigure,” he said slowly. “How often did she try?”

“Only once. I was knocked off my feet and that was quite painful. Well, nothing compared to this of course”. 

He nodded, grabbed for one of the tabs and started to rinse her hair. He seemed deep in thought while he was doing that, but he didn’t say anything on the subject anymore. 

“Shall I take you out?” he said when he was finished, “You must be getting cold. And you need to rest”. 

“Are you going back, then?” she asked. 

He misinterpreted the fear in her eyes. “Are you afraid of being alone? Shall I call for a house elf to look after you?”

“No, no…” she hastened to say, “I’m scared for you. What if they find you out? You’re not supposed to have saved me I suppose”. 

He came to his feet, “Not to worry. I have handled a few far more difficult situations than this. Now be careful, I am going to lift you up again”. 

“You’ll wet your shirt”. 

“Yes, well… I am sure a wizard such as myself can handle this type of problem too”, came his dry reply, and it pleased him to see a smile appear on her lips. 

He put her on the ground with the same care as he had done previously, again holding her against him until she had found her balance, and then he summoned an enormous bathtowel towards them, which he carefully wrapped around her shoulders. Then he took a smaller one with which he wanted to rub her hair dry, but then realised that this was not the best idea with her head injuries and concussion. Magic would have to replace the pleasure of rubbing her dry instead, so he took out his wand, muttered a drying spell that sent a warm glow from the top of her head to the tips of her toes and then he lifted her up into his arms again and carried her back to the canopy bed, where he sat her down on the side. 

With a few skilled movements and just a little pain, her arm and shoulder were safely wrapped up in bandages, and the wounds that were still rather bleedy covered with patches. Then he made her drink another potion and helped her lie down. As soon as she felt the soft mattress and pillows underneath her again, she sent him a grateful smile, but that went lost because he was studying the ugly bruise on her abdomen again.

“I want you to visit a hospital as soon as you have left the country, Billie” he said with a grave face. 

“Why should I want to leave the country?” 

“Because if you want to become an animagus, the only person who can teach you within a reasonable time is Francis Lejeune in France”. 

“I believe Minerva mentioned her”. 

“Him”. He corrected her, “Possibly. Anyway, promise me you will have yourself examined as soon as possible” He carefully ran his fingers over the injury, “I do not trust this. Does it hurt? On the inside I mean?”

She shook her head, “Not at the moment, no”. 

“Promise me you will have yourself examined”. 

“I don’t want to leave the country”, she said with her eyes closed. She only wanted to be here, with him sitting on her bed and stay here and sleep.

“Yes, well… we will see to that after you have rested” He rose and pulled the duvet up to her chin. “You have seen a little of what this new regime can do to you, and it could have been far worse. I do not think staying in Britain is going to be an option for you”. He looked down at her sleepy face and hesitated for a split second. Then he kissed her brow.

“I will be back” he whispered. 

She sent him another grateful smile but then the potion got the upper hand and she fell into a deep sleep before he had moved away from her bed. 

Severus closed all shutters against whatever creatures might peer inside, now that the evening was falling. 

Then he picked up her clothes from the floor and studied them. 

He wasn’t an expert at mending clothes, and even less so cleaning them, but he didn’t dare to take them to the house elves downstairs either, so he took out his wand. 

The result wasn’t brilliant. The stains were gone, but he didn’t think the clothes looked very fresh, and the bra had an odd shape. One cup stood a little higher than the other one. 

Anyway, it was high time he went. He cast a last look at her sleeping face. She didn’t seem to have any nightmares at the moment, but they would surely come. 

Poor Billie.

Then he turned away from her, opened the door, looked left and right into the completely deserted corridor and slipped outside, after which he magically sealed the door behind him. 

Whatever happened, Billie had to be safe at all cost.


	13. Part II Chapter 13

"13

 

He took a few seconds to push all the memories of the last couple of hours to the back of his mind and with that, the whole expression on his face changed when his usual mask of coldness and indifference fell into place. 

In this world, there was absolutely no room for sentiment anymore.

He sweeped through the deserted corridors of Hogwarts, thinking of a safe way to get Billie away. She had to go, there was no other option. The longer she stayed here, the more she put herself in danger, and the more he became attached to her, which would endanger his own life too. And he couldn’t always slip to the seventh floor either because that would raise suspicion, a thought that was confirmed as soon as he ran into McGonnagle, just at the gargoyle.

“There you are, Severus. I thought you had locked yourself into your newly acquired office but apparantely you had not”, her voice oozed with sarcasm. 

“Is it of any concern where I am or am not, Minerva? Or were you needing me?”

“I don’t think I will very quickly have a need to see you, <i>Headmaster,” </i>Minerva replied haughtily. “Argus, however, does. He seems to be anxious to let your friends in again”. 

Not a trace of emotion was to be read from the impassive face, nor to be heard in the silky voice. 

“If he is so anxious, then why doesn’t he let them in, I wonder. Have they come back?”

“No. But he seemed to live under the conviction that you told him not to let anyone in, which surprised him”. 

“Really," he said, with one eyebrow lifted in his familiar, sarcastic way, “Although I have to admit that it is hardly the time of night for a social call, the Carrows are not just anybody. You had better remember that”. 

Minerva’s jaw dropped. “I most definitely will, Severus. And if I don’t, I’m sure you will help my memory”. She fixed him with a stare that would send even the most die-hard Slytherins straight to their mummies. “Where is Billie? What did you do to her?”. 

“Miss Matthews has left the castle, safe and sound, and that is exactly what she was expected to do”. 

Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you”

For a split second he thought she had discovered the truth, but there was so much hatred in her whole appearance that he knew for certain his own position was safe. 

“What did they do to her, those two?” she asked curtly, “Did they kill her? Or did <i>you</i> finish the job?”

“I have told you. She has left the castle. And she did so on her own, which I daresay means that she was alive and even more so capable of standing and walking”.

She pursed her thin lips in disapproval “I can only hope for the poor girl that you speak the truth,” 

And with an enormous swing, she turned away from him and strode away with her head held high.

He shrugged and sped towards the gargoyle. He hoped it would take a while before she had a chance to speak to Filch. He wasn’t in a hurry to meet the horrific couple again. 

 

It was with relief that he closed the door of the Headmaster’s office behind him. His eyes immediately went to the portrait where his old friend was looking at him with pride.

“So you managed to get the position, Severus”. 

“Yes”. 

“You did well. You must play your part convincingly”. 

Severus shrugged.”I sometimes wonder how long I will be able to pretend and not raise suspicion”. 

“The Dark Lord is always suspicious,” said Dumbledore, “Do not let yourself be fooled. But with your Occlumency skills, I do not think you have much to fear”. 

“His power and skills go well beyond Occlumency”.

“Yes, and you definitely stand up to him,” said Dumbledore, “Do not underestimate yourself. Now what happened to the girl? Have you saved her?”

“Of course”. 

“Where is she?”

“In her room. She was in a bad state”. 

“I am sure she is a lot better now that she has passed through your capable hands”. 

“I can only hope so,“ said Severus, “Because she will have to leave as we speak”. 

Dumbledore nodded. “Did she tell you how she wanted to become an animagus?”. 

“Yes,” Severus sighed, “And I do not even think it is a mad idea. Merlin knows how we can do with a couple of exceptionally talented wizards and witches, especially animagi. I will send her to Francis Lejeune”. 

“That is where Minerva wanted her to go too”. 

“Well, at least she will be out of the country and safe”. 

“You have become attached to her, have you not, Severus?”. 

The black eyes met the painted ones in the portrait.

“I cannot afford to be attached to anyone, Albus. Not even the woman I am doing this for, as you very well know”. 

“I know. And that reminds me… is there any news from Harry?”

“I had better ask <i>you</i>. Apart from the fact that I know he survived his move to Arthur Weasley’s house, because I had a hand in that myself, I have not exactly been on the right side to hear any more news in primetime, except for the worst”.

“No, that is right…”

“So no news is good news, I suppose”.

“Ahum…” came the sound from somewhere above their heads. 

Phineas Black was leaning one elbow on his frame with a rather smug expression on his face, “I may have some more news there”.

“Well I am glad to hear that, Phineas” said Dumbledore. 

“Have they shown up at Grimmauld’s place?” asked Severus.

“They have indeed,” said Phineas, “But I would not advise you to go there. I am afraid the members of the Order have protected the house against you, Severus”.

“Yes, well…, I am not surprised,” said Severus, “Do they still use it as their Headquarters?”

The old schoolmaster shook his head. “No, that would be far too dangerous, now that you have gone over to the other side”. 

“Is the House Elf still there?” asked Severus, “Is there any way we can approach him with the sword?”

“I would not do that,” said Dumbledore, “Kreacher cannot be seen carrying the sword. Imagine for a moment that he was caught”. He shook his head. “We, or rather you, can only carry the sword to Harry yourself, Severus”.“Yes, and already I can see the flaw in the plan, there. As it is, I deem the chances small that I should run into Potter in the streets of Hogsmeade, and even smaller that he will not use the sword on me as soon as I hand it over to him”. 

“There is no reason to be sarcastic, Severus,” said Dumbledore, “We all know about your little vendetta. But never worry. I am sure a chance will present itself in one way or the other, and by then, I am sure we will have a plan in place”.

“We shall see… anyway, I have things to do now”. 

“And I think I shall catch some sleep,” said Dumbledore’s portrait, “Should you not you do the same, Severus? You look rather tired”. 

“No time. Billie has to leave. But first, I should contact Francis Lejeune to announce her visit”. 

“How will you manage to smuggle her out of the castle?”

“That is one of the things I still have to think about,” said Severus.

 

It was pitch dark in the room when Billie opened her eyes after a couple of hours of deep sleep. She instinctively wanted to roll over to her belly, but that was not a good idea. The enormous bruise that was covering half of it did not agree with her body weight. 

And with that pain, all memories of the past hours came back to her and she was wide awake.

The darkness unsettled her somehow. 

Her fingers found the wand Severus had left on her bedside table, and with a couple of flicks, she lighted the candles and torches in the various corners of the room. 

She lay back in the pillows to compose her thoughts. 

So many things came back into her mind. The horrible couple of course, and what they had done to her; and the even more distressing thought that the fear about a possible victory by Voldemort had become reality and that she was now going to be hunted like a deer. A feeling of panic took possession of her as she realised she would have to leave very soon. She couldn’t possibly stay here. She would endanger Severus’s life. 

Severus… 

Her heart missed a beat when she thought of him. 

She had been assaulted in the most horrible way. If he hadn’t come at her rescue, she might very well not have survived it, and yet, the mere thought of him, especially how he had taken care of her when she had just lost faith in his good intentions, nearly made her forget the horrors she had been through. 

He was at the right side. He had been there all along. And knowing this made her heart jump. Just when everyone thought he was rubbing shoulders with Voldemort, the Carrows and the likes, he had come to her room, sent her assaulters away and had spent several hours nursing her. She had always thought or hoped he meant well, but reality surpassed fiction in this case. 

Still, if anyone had the slightest suspicion of the double role he was playing, he would instantly be found out and killed. The longer she stayed here and allowed him to visit her, the higher that risk became, especially now that the Carrows knew exactly where her room was.

So there was no other option than to leave Severus straight away. 

She threw off the duvet but froze as soon as her eyes fell on the ugly bruises and the plasters that dotted her whole body. 

She pushed back a lock of hair that had fallen into her eyes and it wasn’t until then that she realised her face was wet with tears. 

She took a deep breath. Crying wasn’t going to solve anything, so she threw her legs over the side of the bed, waited a moment for the dizziness to ebb away and then, very carefully, rose to her feet with one hand clutching a pole of the four-poster bed. A slight headache came back and the manoeuvre caused some pain in her ribs, but on the whole, she was not too bad. 

She summoned the bathrobe from the couch, half slipped into it and half wrapped it over her bandaged arm, and then took a step towards the bathroom door. When her fingers came loose from the pole, she took a moment to find her balance, but all went well, and so she managed to shuffle her way to the bathroom without any painful collisions or anything. 

She grasped the side of the basin when a sudden nausea came up, but it passed as soon as it had appeared. Then she lifted her eyes towards her own reflection in the mirror. 

She looked a nightmare! Her blonde hair was standing at all ends, but that was the least of her worries. Her face was barely recognisable, not just because it was puffed and multi-coloured but especially because, underneath the bruises and scratches, she was as pale as a ghost. 

She opened up the bathrobe a little to have a better look at the upper part of her body and that wasn’t very encouraging either. 

She sighed and picked up the brush with the intention of tidying herself up a little bit. Leaving tonight was probably not going to be an option. She doubted she’d even fit into her jeans. 

As she stood brushing her hair, carefully avoiding the sensitive spots on her head, she became aware of a sound in the room next door. 

For a few horrible moments, she stood paralysed with fear, expecting the Carrows to appear in the doorway in seconds. 

But then a dark shape came into view and Snape stepped into the bathroom. 

“Ah there you are,” His eyes instantly registered the shock in hers, “Forgive me for bursting in like this. Did I frighten you?”

“It’s all right, don’t worry,” she hastened to say, “I’m probably becoming paranoid”. 

“Well I should hope so. It is high time you became less trusting”.“I happened to be right when I trusted <i>you</i>,” she smiled, “And I’m glad I did”. 

He came a little closer to her and let his eyes run over every detail of her damaged face. “Am I right in assuming that you feel somewhat better already? I do not think you were capable of beaming like that when I left you”. 

“I feel better than I look,” she said gazing down at the scratches and bruises on her arms, “I’m like a painting”. 

“You look a picture, I agree”, said Severus and sniggered. “May I have a look at you?”

His fingers very lightly traced the shape of the bruise on her left cheek. “Does this hurt?”

She shook her head. 

“This one will have disappeared by tomorrow morning”. His eyes met hers and he smiled “The best potions are not to be found in expensive books. Do you mind if I…?” 

Again she shook her head and he gently pushed the bathrobe aside. 

“I will take off the bandages, I think. It should be healed already”. He untied the knot in her neck and started to unwrap the arm that indeed seemed to fit perfectly into the shoulder again. “Can you try to move it a little? Does it hurt?”

“No, but it feels stiff”. 

He nodded. “That is a side-effect of the healing potion”. 

“Well if that is going to be the only thing I still feel after such an attack, I definitely don’t mind. What potion is this that you gave me anyway?”

“Not one I teach”, he smiled, “Except perhaps to exceptionally talented students but I have not had many of those in the course of my career”.His eyes met hers. “Apart from you, of course”. 

Billie instantly felt her cheeks burn and looked away. An amused twinkle passed in the black eyes, before they settled on the shoulder again.

“The stiffness will quickly disappear,” he said as he gently felt the bones in her shoulder and arm, “but you should spare this side a little at first. May I have a look at the rest of your injuries? See how fit you are to leave?” 

Her stomach tightened into a painful knot which had nothing to do with the fingers that were running over it now. In his presence, the prospect of leaving seemed even less attractive than before, even if she knew she had no other choice.

Severus didn’t feel anything abnormal when his fingers traced her ribs, so that part seemed healed as well. The bruises where Alecto or her brother had grabbed her right breast had now turned a light shade of yellow, and so had most of the ones on her legs, arms and back. The only one that remained an ugly shade of blue was the one on the right side of her abdomen. He knelt down to have a better look at it but didn’t dare to touch it, for fear he would hurt her again. 

“You will remember to have this examined, will you not?... Billie?”

He managed to jump up only just in time to catch her in his arms before she hit the floor. 

“Billie…?” he whispered, but she didn’t respond. She had fainted.

 

He lifted her up and carried her back to the room, where he sat her down on the couch. She had only been away for a couple of seconds, but it was a scary enough experience as such. 

“Sorry…” she muttered, “I don’t know what came over me”. 

“Are you all right?” He pushed a lock of hair out of her deadly-pale face, with a frown that expressed deep concern. 

“A little nauseous. And I have a terrible headache again”

“Have you had anything to eat yet?” His eyes travelled towards the plate with sandwiches the house elves had brought in during her sleep. It was untouched. 

He got up and brought it back to her. “You have to eat, Billie. You have not had any food all day”.

“I can’t,” she muttered. The mere thought of food made her stomach turn. She shook her head at the sandwich he held in front of her. 

“No sandwich? Very well. Then I suppose an invigoration draught is in place”. He took a flask out of his pocket and handed it over to her. “I had a feeling you would be needing this, so I brought you a particularly strong one”. 

“Thank you,” she said, eyeing the green liquid with suspicion, “I thought they were golden? Are you sure it’s nothing more than an invigoration draught?”

“No, but trust me. And make sure you drink it all. You will instantly feel better”. 

She reluctantly took a sip. Judging from the look of it she had expected some foul taste, but it wasn’t so bad as she had thought. 

“It tastes of garlic,” she said, “Is that what you added?”

“Not at all. It is a little more complicated than that. Another potion I will teach you when… well … sometime”. When he saw the shadow pass over her face, he immediately regretted what he had said. He sat down next to her and for a moment seemed at a loss for words. It was an embarrassing moment, which Billie used to finish the potion.

“I suppose I should leave tonight?”. 

“That would be the safest, yes,” he agreed, “If you are fit enough that is”. 

“Your potions are probably meant to have me up and running and out of the castle as soon as possible, aren’t they?”

“Up and running, yes, but not out of the castle, Billie”. He stretched his hand towards her and very lightly brushed her cheek with his long fingers. “Or at least not if the choice were mine. Unfortunately, there is no choice. I do not want you to be in danger, which you will most certainly be if you stay here”.

“And what about yourself? You’re in the biggest danger”.

“I know, but that is the choice I made a long time ago. And I do not think I have a choice either”. He took his hand away and came to his feet. “Are you feeling better already?”

She nodded and rose too. “I’d better get dressed, then,” she muttered, “I suppose it’s well after midnight already?”

He checked his watch “Half past two. The sun will come up in a couple of hours. Listen, Billie,” and with that he came closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders, “You should only leave when you feel you are up to it. Do you still intend to take an animagus course?”

She nodded.

“Well then. I want you to take the ferry to France and travel on to Francis Lejeune. He lives at the Belgian border, in the Ardennes somewhere”. He took a small piece of parchment out of his inside pocket and handed it over to her. 

“There’s nothing on it,” she remarked. 

“Now there is…” he said as his wand briefly touched it. “Just ask it to reveal itself, but do it silently. Francis lives in the muggle village of Hargnies. It should be easy enough to find. But you will have to travel by muggle transport”.

“And how do I leave the castle?”

“I have been thinking about that. Do you still have the broomstick I left you?”

She nodded. 

“Then I will show you a secret passage that will take you to the outside borders of Hogsmeade. From there, you should be able to travel unnoticed, especially under cover of darkness”. 

She was avoiding his gaze and he had an inkling why that was so. His hands cupped her face. The dark-blue eyes were indeed filled with tears. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She impatiently tried to get out of his grip and to regain her composure again, but the more she tried to stop the tears, the more they came and she hated herself for it. The next moment his arms closed around her and she was sobbing against his shoulder. 

“S…sorry…” she kept muttering. 

“You do not have to apologise, you silly girl…” he mocked good-naturedly. It sounded airily, but his whole heart went out to her. 

“I’m not weak or anything…” she sniffed, “… or at least I’m trying not to…”

“Nobody says you <i>are</i>, Billy”. He took out a handkerchief which he handed over to her, and folded his hands behind her back  “You have been through a traumatic experience. It will take a long time for you to recover from it”.

“It’s not that, Severus…” she sniffed, as she stood fumbling with his handkerchief, leaning her painful head somewhere against his chin “I… don’t want to leave you behind… with that lot… I know you have no choice and that you’re doing this for us, but it’s so… I don’t know…”

“Hopeless?” he suggested, planting a kiss on her head, “I know, it is madness, but it is the only thing I can do to revenge the people who have suffered or died, or who are about to”. The image of a red-haired girl with green eyes flashed through his mind and he held his breath for a moment.

“You could be on his list as well”, said Billie. 

He pushed the image of Lily aside and looked down at the girl in his arms.

“I am definitely very high on his list…” he pulled her closer when he saw her eyes widen in horror, “But so is everyone who is standing in his way. And I do not think he realises I am there in the first place”. 

“Not yet…”

“Not yet,” he agreed, “In fact, I am quite sure he does not” His fingers played with a lock of hair . “But if he does, then I can only hope he will meet his own end very shortly afterwards”. 

For several long moments, she was staring into the deep depths of his black eyes in horror, and suddenly she felt herself drawn closer to him and the next moment she was kissing him. 

His very first impulse was to draw away, but that was instantly overruled by the long-forgotten emotions the kiss caused somewhere deep inside, and before he knew it, he was completely lost in it. 

His hands slowly started to travel over her back, hips and further up along her sides, sending a tingling sensation through her whole body that pushed her closer to him still. His one hand fumbled with the knot of her bathrobe and slipped inside; his thumb circled a while around her pelvis, which made her legs go weak like jelly and further up … but that … was a major mistake. 

As soon as his fingers touched the bruise on her belly on their way to her breast, a shriek of pain that was still muffled by his mouth suddenly sounded and she jumped away as if stung by a bee. 

The shock he received was so heavy that his face immediately turned deadly-white, even whiter than hers, with his eyes spread wide-open in horror. 

“Merlin, Billy…! I am sorry”, he said as he lifted a shaking hand to his face to rub his suddenly painful brow. What a fool he was! His clumsiness that had hurt her wasn’t even the worst part of it: he had committed the unforgivable act of losing his self-control… and on top of it with a former student.

 “Forgive me”, he repeated, silently sending a series of curses at himself. 

“Don’t worry, Severus,” Billie caught his trembling fingers in her hand and gave him a reassuring smile, “You only gave me a fright”

“I do worry,” he muttered. 

“Well, OK, it hurt,” Billie admitted, “but not very seriously”. 

He decided to follow this turn of the conversation, and very comfortably not to discuss the forbidden kiss as such… not until he had been able to regain a little of his self-control and clear his thoughts somewhat.

“You really must have this looked after as soon as you are safely away from here, Billie”. 

“I will…” and all of a sudden, the magic from the last moments was replaced by the now familiar feeling of dread at the mentioning of her upcoming departure. 

“I will”, she repeated, casting her eyes down. 

“Good…” he said. 

The atmosphere had become tense. 

“I… I’d better get dressed,” .

He checked his watch and nodded. “Will you manage?”

“I think so”. 

“Otherwise call me… if you do not mind my seeing you half-dressed” he said.

Despite herself she smiled. “I don’t. I don’t think there are many parts of me you haven’t seen yet anyway”. 

Severus took a couple of deep breaths in an effort to steady himself. He was a master at covering up his deepest feelings, but this time, he sincerely hoped the mark wouldn’t burn in the next couple of hours.  He was completely blown away.

 

Before he could regain a little of his composure, though, Billie had reappeared in the doorway, holding her bra in front of her with a wide grin on her face. 

“Severus, do you know what happened to this?”

He took a moment to understand what she was hinting at and then he caught sight of the left cup that was standing about an inch higher than the right one.

“I repaired it”, he said dryly, “Do you think it will not fit anymore?”

She lifted one eyebrow in a way that was not unlike the way he normally did. 

“I thought you said you had <i>seen</i> me…?” and then she flashed him a dazzling smile that did little to bring back his composure. She took out her wand, muttered some incantation and in seconds the bra restored itself to its original shape.

“Where did you learn to do that?” 

“Do you remember Professor Macramy in my first year?” She was referring to the DADA teacher they had had that year; a tiny little witch with frizzled hair and bony fingers that never seemed to be still. Just like her colleagues, she had hardly lasted longer than one schoolyear, because by the time the end-of-summer term-exams had started, she had received a nervous breakdown and called her teaching career a day. 

“She organised a couple of out-of-hours DIY-housekeeping for witches-lessons”, Billie continued, “Deadly boring, but quite handy, especially if you have the possibility to refine your skills under a small housekeeping wonder like Molly Weasley afterwards”.

A nearly-forgotten, highly unpleasant and too familiar feeling suddenly took possession of him when he realised why Molly suddenly popped up in the conversation. Was she still seeing Fred Weasley? Of course he wouldn’t lower himself to asking her that, but the mere thought suddenly made him feel as if a nasty snake was coiling its way through his intestines.

“Severus?” she held the bra up to him, “I’m sorry, but would you mind…? My shoulder’s still in the way…”

“Of course, “ It sounded a little funny with the lump he suddenly had to swallow away, and he was especially glad that she had her back towards him when his trembling hands were hooking the thing in place. 

If only these were different times and circumstances, … she wouldn’t be able to walk away so quickly as she was doing now, even if there was and would always be a Lily Potter to disturb his inner peace.

But then he thought about what they were faced with, and the nearly-impossibility of the task they, or rather Potter, had at hand, and the next Death Eaters meeting he was to attend very soon, and the Carrows who had left Billie in such a state, … and all romantic thoughts instantly disappeared.“The jeans don’t fit anymore”, she said, “That bruise won’t allow it”. She looked down at her bare legs, “And I don’t suppose flying like this will be an option?”. 

“I cannot say I should have any objections”. And again he cursed himself for blurting this far too personal remark out. What was the matter with him? 

“Thank you,” she laughed, “but I think I will look for alternative attire. Besides…” and now she came closer to him to cup his face in her hand “… you won’t be there to watch me, will you”. 

“No…” he said, very close to her lips, “and you should not so cruelly tease me”. 

“I know…” she sighed “And I‘d better hurry, hadn’t I?”

He nodded. 

With a sad smile, she turned away from him and bent to pick up her bag from the floor. 

Severus turned away from her again and walked over to the window, where he carefully opened one half of the shutters to peer outside. 

On the far horizon all was still black but he knew it wouldn’t be too long now before the first light would appear. It really was high time she left. 

After a few moments she reappeared into the room, this time dressed in a rather short skirt and panties. 

“Not the best travelling clothes, but they will have to do,” she said as she folded up her jeans and stuffed them into her bag, together with other objects she had left here and there. Then she closed the lid and was just about to shoulder the bag when she was stopped by the sudden sound of his voice. 

“Can you come over here for a minute, Billie?... Look” He pointed at a point somewhere at the edge of the village. “This is where you will emerge from the passage. You will arrive in the backyard of the Shrieking Shack. From there you should take the path that leads into the mountains and after a few yards, you will come at a clearing. From there, it should be safe to take off”. He looked back into her worried face, “Do not apparate. Under no circumstances. There may be a curfew on the village and the surroundings of this castle”. 

“Are the mountains safe?”

“They should be. At least the plateau is. That is where I usually take off myself” He let his finger run over her cheek that, until a few hours ago, had badly been bruised and swollen. “How are you now?”.

“Not too bad, actually,” she said, “I still have a headache, but the bruises don’t hurt anymore and nearly all wounds are healed. I took off most plasters”. 

“Good,” he said. He let go of her cheek to grab into his inside pocket from which he took out a couple of small flasks. “Look, Billie, I would like you to drink this one just before you take off. It is the strengthening solution you have had before. This bottle is a spare one. If you take that one in about twelve hours, you should very much feel your old self again, apart from the headaches. I cannot help you with those, but if you drink this invigorating draught before you go to sleep, it will speed up your recovery. However, you have to bear in mind that head injuries require patience. As soon as you have safely arrived at Francis’ place, you should first take all the time you still need to rest”. 

She nodded and took over the flasks from him, which she slipped into her rucksack. 

“Thank you. What would be the best way to travel there?”.

“Ah, I have thought about that”. His hand slipped into his inside pocket again and came out with what looked like a ticket, “From here you should fly to Rosythe. Do you know where that is? Good. Then you take the ferry to Belgium, from where you take the train to Paris and then further down to Lejeune’s little village. The train will probably not pass through the village, but I am sure you will find other ways to reach it from the nearest station. You should be safe the moment you unboard on the Continent, but avoid using magic while you travel”. He handed her the passenger’s ticket. “I booked you a single cabin. I think a little peace and quiet are in place”.

“But that’s brilliant!” she beamed, “How did you manage to arrange this?”

“I have my contacts…” he replied evasively. 

Then he stood staring through the window for a while.  

“There is one more thing I have to do,” he finally muttered. He looked down to meet her eyes. “I will have to remove today’s memories from your mind… or at least the bit where I come in”. 

“What?...” she stared at him in utmost horror and shock, “Severus, you can’t do this!”. 

“I must…” he said, grabbing her arm when he felt she was going to step away from him “Billie, you have absolutely no Occlumency skills. If any Legilimens, and it does not even have to be a very skilled one, looks at you for just a few moments, they will instantly know which side I am on”.  He tenderly traced the line of her jaw and chin with his thumbs, “You do understand this, don’t you?”

It hurt him to see the tears come back into the dark-blue eyes. 

“Please, Severus”, she whispered, “don’t take that away from me. It’s these memories that will help me through this”. 

Quite opposed to his previous intentions, he kissed her; and kissed her again and pulled her so close he feared he would hurt her again, but when he felt he was going to lose control, forced himself to pull away from her. 

“I will not remove it forever,” he too sounded emotional now. From one of his pockets he took an empty glass bottle which he asked her to hold for him. Her hands were nearly trembling as much as his. 

 “Francis Lejeune is a skilled Occlumens who could teach you to better cover up your thoughts and especially your emotions. I think you should use your time with him to learn at least the basics of Occlumency”. Despite his intention to keep some distance, he lightly touched the worried frown between her eyes with his lips. “He has a Pensieve, a magical bowl in which you can dive into someone else’s or your own thoughts. I am sure he will be happy to let you use it if need be”. 

He took a deep breath. “I will now retrieve those memories from you, Billie, and add them to this flask so that you can carry them with you if you like. Just be careful they do not fall into the wrong hands”. 

“I will unvisualise the flask,” she whispered. 

“Yes, do that. The memory will still live inside your head too, but I will push it to your subconciousness until you have reached Lejeune’s house”.

“Will it come back then?”

“No,” he smiled, “but then you will have the Pensieve. When you have lived the memory in the Pensieve it will instantly disappear from your conscious mind again, until… well until it is safe to bring it back to the front”. 

It touched him very deeply that anyone should be so anxious to keep a memory in which he played the leading part. He was also happy that at least he didn’t have to remove his own memory too. Thanks to his Occlumency skills, he would have the liberty to think about her whenever he wanted to.

“Oh, and I must not forget the secret passage. Look. These are instructions that will destroy themselves the moment anyone but you looks at them. Keep them in your hands, because you will not remember all of this after I have left. You will probably be disoriented in the first instants”. Calm and composed on the outside, he let his eyes wander over her sad face, as if he wanted to imprint the tiniest little details on his own memory so that he would never forget it. If only he could let her stay here; hide her somewhere; use the Room of Requirement as a permanent residence for her…

But then, very slowly, he became aware of an unpleasant, most inconvenient and highly feared sensation in his lower left arm. 

“It is high time, Billie” His breath came quicker than usual and it was still with trembling fingers that he took out his wand and placed the tip against her temple, “You will remember the travelling instructions as Miranda McGonnagle’s and not mine. Now, please relive all the things we have done and said today. <i>All of them</i>”. 

“I love you,” she whispered, with her eyes full of tears. 

“I know” he whispered back, and then his black eyes registered the images that were now appearing in hers and instantly redirected them out of her mind through his wand. 

The long, silvery thread glided into the flask as if it had a will of its own. Then a stopper appeared out of nowhere and sealed itself on top of the small bottle. The next moment, the flask turned invisible and Severus slipped it into the breast pocket of her jacket. He cast a last look into the eyes that were vacantly staring into the distance now. She wasn’t registering anything that was happening, and this was going to last a few minutes more. He swallowed hard, lightly kissed her lips and then abruptly turned away from her and hurried towards the door, out from this room and into the world that was now in the firm grasp of a mere psychopath. 

All memories of the last hours were instantly overruled by the hatred that was engulfing him and his iron will to destroy its cause.

 

END OF PART TWO


End file.
